Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Fritzi Melendez Jul 2017
A warm heart that once beat,
Is cold as ice from tragedy, sorrow, and defeat.
I'm so tired of being taken advantage of.
Fritzi Melendez Jul 2017
"It's over, I cant do this anymore. It's better for the both of us."

I heard those words and I feel my body being crushed and shattered by the tires of a bus.

I know you couldn't see it, but I visioned the world being hit by a meteor.

My world, to be exact, and I begin to transform into delicate paper, and you, a sharp scissor.

And we all know that scissors beat paper. I just didn't think it would be this soon.

Because in my eyes, I was the atrocious sun, and you were the beautiful moon.

A tragedy, I must say.

I mean, I guess no one really expects this type of love to go away.

I mean, hell, even I didn't want to believe it.

Because you began to cry and I had to offer you my solace and comfort.

I had to choke back my razor sharp tears.

And protect you from all of your fears.

Just like I always have tried to love you for your heart.

But it only seemed that my love wasn't your preference of art.

To this day, I regret comforting and letting you cry as I sit on my bed staring at my laptop screen trying to calm you down.

And you were so selfish to not see that I kept you afloat while I started to drown.

And I just want to say that I ******* hate you but I still love you so ******* much.

And I want you to feel pain but I also want to love you again, but just enough.

I had hoped you would give me a second chance.

But oh, with those sweet, hope filled words, you had me in a trance.

Until I realized that it wasn't going to happen, oh not at all.

And my friends became a razor and the edge of a building, 40 stories tall.

When did my love notes turn into suicide notes?

When did my perfume become an ocean of sunken boats?

And, oh, how long did you keep this love facade on me?

One, two months, maybe even three?

What was it that had made you leave instead of stay?

Because you said it were the fights that made you go away.

But honestly, I think that's *******, because if you were so mature like you claimed to be,

You would have sat me down and talked it out, but instead you closed the door behind you and locked it with a key.

And oh **** no, don't you dare tell me that I shouldn't have gotten so attached.

Because you encouraged our plans for our future together to leave our horrible past.

You told me you loved me and swooned me with such diction.

But then again, you led me on for a couple of months, so how can I know that wasn't fiction?

I just don't know what to think of that night.

It was a signed waiver for my death, timed just right.

I'm just kidding, ***. You only added onto my stress of tests and the end of school.

And you sure did your job at making me your fool.

And today, I still cant breathe when I think about you creating future plans with someone else.

As I stand here fumbling the ceiling so that I can hang this death providing belt.

I hope you got what you wanted, the happiness of being alone.

But I hope you know, when you come back home, I'll be dead on the floor, a person whose heart you once owned.

Just like it's always been for people like me.

But I know you can't see all of this because your tears made your vision blurry.

But I ******* hope you see that you completely shattered and broke me and I had to be ******* strong because I had hoped if I did I can prove to you that this can all be fixed,

But...

Now I'm trying to to go about this alone and refrain from getting my emotions and sicknesses mixed.

I hope you feel happy that you killed the person who loved you so dearly...

And even through all this mess, still I will be dumb enough to take you back into my arms if you ever wanted to, but that's just my theory.

And I reminisce our memories and your gifts and force them into a box.

But I much rather be in one 6 feet down the earth, because I'll only perceive myself as an orthodox.

A contradictory, a mess, someone who can be replaced.

As I stand my ground and move on from you at such a slow pace.
Lately I started thinking of the night he broke up with me, and how I feel and what I regret about what was said or did.
Fritzi Melendez Jul 2017
I'll do something stupid, like fall in love with you and stuff

Until one day you realize that it wont be enough

I wont be enough for you.

And I will cry and tear apart my room.

And the dark days will begin to loom.

And I will begin to lose myself in this mentality to.
Overthinking shower thoughts about myself and how I must be at fault with everything that has happened.
Fritzi Melendez Jul 2017
In April, the cherry blossoms bloom.

And so will my impending doom.
The seasonal depression will come back to haunt me. My fear is that I believe it would become so overwhelming, I'll have the strength to rid myself.
Fritzi Melendez Jul 2017
It's 4AM, I'm crying, and all I can think about is you.

I still ******* love you, but there's nothing I can do.
Broke down overthinking about a love that was lost.
Fritzi Melendez Jul 2017
during these nights, I realize how terribly lonely I truly am.

I'm just so easily replaceable, no one gives a ****.

It hurts so much to feel so worthless.

and I get so used to the point where I'm worn out and useless.

I guess that's the point in which everyone begins to leave.

They're doing this for the better, but it's not what I perceive.

And in these nights I just want to ******* cry.

Because I know no one would shed a tear if tonight I die.

I'm only needed for the benefits of these poor souls.

But where am I in this place besides a 6 foot hole?
All throughout my life, I have always felt I was alone. I struggle to find my place in this world.
Fritzi Melendez Jul 2017
I hate how you would give me painted masks for me to wear as a gift of your love.

How you said that if I wore them I would show you love that only comes from above.

How you said it was for the better but at the end it wasn't enough for you to stay.

And slowly and surely you began to fade away.

You said I had to change, and baby, if it was for you, I would.

Always for you my love, I thought to myself, I should.

And I began to mold myself into fitting your criteria.

But I guess that led to our demise and my hysteria.

And I began to think when I'm left all alone.

If it was me or you that burned down our sacred home.

And I try to take off the masks that has melted onto my face.

And then I realized your masks were never replaced.

And, god, I felt so ******* dumb for letting you do this to me.

But it's okay, because i still love you, can't you see?

And slowly I'm chipping away your painted masks.

But it's so hard to move when you've been drowning in the bottom of a flask.

But I'm sure you don't understand, besides, your mask was easily ridden.

And we become a love that is painfully forbidden.

It was always for you, my love, but never for me, and so...

I hope you know that I still love you, and you easily let that go.
A poem for my ex, who changed me in order to love him but never did the same for me.
Next page