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Stand you on the cliff of uncertainty
all that is behind is done, what is there to come but air
let courage give you wings, to lift you up from dark despair
for nought is worse than standing still
and wondering on that bare accursed hill
 Aug 2023 life's jump
Birdie
Boundaries
Saying no
Self respect
Moving slow
Sensible drinking
Eating enough
Sleeping schedules
Calling their bluff
Saying goodbye
Letting go
Forgiving myself
Staying at home
Telling the truth
Falling in love
Reading whole books
Acting tough
Playing sports
Doing maths
Waking up early
Avoiding his wrath
About the only things
I am able to do
Are make bad decisions
And regret them too
 Aug 2023 life's jump
Birdie
Upset
 Aug 2023 life's jump
Birdie
I feel too strongly
I think too much
I say what I feel
And I don’t understand
Why nobody else can
Understand me
 Aug 2023 life's jump
Birdie
Sadness lives in my bones
It’s settled in my marrow
Happiness is harrowing
Like a fracture
That never healed
Entrapped pain
Within my structure
Never to feel whole again
I only write when I’m sad
 Aug 2023 life's jump
Birdie
By now I thought I’d be
Much more
A partner, a mother
I thought I’d be sure
Of my picket fence life
My role as a wife
An impressive career
A stable idea of the
Road ahead
Or else I’d be dead
But somehow I’ve ended up
In this limbo
And I have become
A loose moralled *****
With no idea where it all
Went wrong  
And no plan in sight
of how to go on
high buildings
prisons without barbed wire

down the street from the funeral home
across from the burnt down church
shadows scatter
like crazy crows
through streets that need no names

on the corner
illuminated by a streetlight
a heart is being spray painted on the wall
of an abandon building
a boy with a doubtful future
has a heart that is beating

we all start out that way
we start out innocent
we start out pure

i've had a few,
genuine and untainted

i've had a few PURE MOMENTS

when **** goes down
i imagine one of those
PURE MOMENTS

maybe you've had one?
maybe a few?

the boy is having one
and he doesn't
know it

it's only when
the **** goes down
that you need one
when **** goes down
and you are pacing around
the 4 corners
of that darkening room
you need one

i open the window

the boy turns
looks up at me
and smiles
and crystal clear like water in a brook

A PURE MOMENT
Change is coming
I can feel it in my bones,
its rattling, creaking and
knocking at my door.

Change collected skeleton's
inside my closet,
I didn't invite it,
it came and sat beside me, whispered to me its secrets
and stored what it could.

Like a spider,
change wrapped me up
in its web, prepared me
for the difference in which
I am a prisoner
between
life and death
where
I hang in the balance.

A bag of stars
I carry on my back,
wishes yet to be cast
upon the night sky,
full of threads and needles
ready for my stitches and
new designs.

A bucket for my dreams
in one hand, flooded reality,
over streaming to the edge
with lucid daydreams washing
my mind with endless
possibilities.

The possibilities are so vast
it seems a void is all around
me, my dreaming eyes
are open wide
for I am never blind but
I am ignorant.

Without ignorance
I wouldn't learn how to see
with my lucid mind,
the possibilities would be
a true void and
my dreams would be
a lie.

I once was a daydreamer
but I flew over the mountains
and over the Seas of possibilities
coming to the edge of my life
realizing, I need to rest.

My stars are fixed
and my life is full.


For now I am a thread
in the eye of a needle
ready for change to
guide me.

©️2023 By Amanda Shelton
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