i say
"i don't care"
like it's a piece of armour --
almost like if i say it
enough
itll become
true.

but my soul,
it still aches.
in the middle of the
darkness,
in the silence,
it remebers
what my mouth
tries to forget.

i don't care.
but only
out loud,
the rest of me
still cares --
in the darkness,
and in the silence.

i told myself
that you never meant
to just
vanish --
but the silence came
like a tide,
slow
and steady
until it swallowed me
whole.

i watched the waves,
they pulled back too.
far enough
that i knew
what was coming,
wasn't just quiet.
it was a tsunami
disguised
as distance.

i waited
intently --
not because you promised,
but because my soul
believed that you
still could.

now every crashing thing
reminds me
of you.
not the goodbye,
but instead the space
you never filled again.

And it hurts the most
When you try everything
And you still feel
Like someone is constantly twisting your chest
And banging on the inside of your mind

Every day before school
I'd pick up a dandelion
Hold it gently,
Carefully,
the whole day
To feel a little less alone
Because at least it was there

When no one else noticed
Or cared
There was comfort in knowing that the dandelion was alone in this world too
Called a ****
Unwanted
Annoying
But that it was beautiful and so lovable
It made me wonder if
Maybe there was a chance I was too?

If I could catch a rainbow,
I'd do so just for you
So you could share its beauty
On the days you're feeling blue.

If I could, I'd buy an island
You could call it your very own,
A place to find serenity,
Where you could be alone.

If I could take your troubles
I'd throw them in the sea,
But all these things I'm finding
Are impossible for me.

'Cause I can't buy an island
Nor catch a rainbow fair,
So I'll just do what I do best:
Be someone who's always there.

I often wonder what it must be like
to not feel constantly isolated
by those who claim to claim you,
so-called alliances crumbling
when they realize your nature cannot be changed.
there are no rainbows in pastel skies,
and they love us until we are no longer PG
no longer PC.
love is love until you love like me

when I love someone
I don't want to love their
gender or their skin
I want to love them
their laugh
their smile
their eyes
their humor
their kindness
their thoughtfulness
their talents
their skills
I want to love them
for them
not a made up version
of them
I want them to be theirself
and be proud
they don't need to be
a girl
or
a boy
or
gender nonconforming
I will love them
for them
and what they look like
does not matter
"I don't love a body,
that's just skin and bones,
not somebody"