Memory is a punishment
Forgetting is a crime

I find myself missing you
and all the things we used to do
your goofy smile
and every mile
I still think about that hot breezy day
I think about it a lot, now that you're away
you never answered my letter
I know you can do better
but I still find myself missing you
in everything that I do

happy days lead to sad days
it's a well known fact
you can't have good without bad-
you cannot be happy without sad.

People look to me to solve their problems
Fix their lives, make everything okay
But what if I myself am a puzzle
An unsolvable equation
Then who gets to fix me?

Measure every word,
Every use of punctuation,
Every emoticon and emoji
Down to the smallest gram

Think twice. No--
Thirteen times,
Before opening your mouth.
And dont talk too much or you're self centred

Check every message, comment.
Nothing too harsh
Nothing insensitive
Nothing that might scare them away
Or tarnish their view of you

Write
Delete
And rewrite
Then quickly send before you chicken out

is
"I'm sorry."
"How are you feeling?"
"Come live with me."
"Still down?"
"I love you so much."
"What are you feeling?"
"Let's start a group chat!"
"Still down?"
"Let's not fight."
"You brought up politics again..."
"Hey, are you okay?"
"Still down?"
"Talk to me."
"Not allowed."
"You're banned."
"Still down?"
"Promise?"
"You're amazing."
"Say it."
"Now YoUUUUUU."
"Still down?'
"How can I help?"
"Talk to you later!"
"I love you so much."
"Still down?"
"I wish I had the answers."
"I want to give you a hug."
"Shower?"
"Still down?"
"Wrote a poem."
"Do you promise?"
"How are you feeling?"
"Many thoughts."
"Still down?"
"Flower."
"Always."
"Of course!"
"It's your color."
"In a completely wholesome, not-stalkerish way."
"Still down?
"Indeed."
"Yes, right, HUMAN."
"How's E*?"
"You don't deserve this."
"No sharp things?"
"Don't apologize."
"This isn't goodbye."
"Still down?"
"I exist."
"I'm okay."
"Poetry."
"I'm scared."
"Still down?"
"I love you."

and just like that
it's the first --
again.
a new month
arrives all too quickly
and too quietly
to prepare for.

they always say
that it's a chance
to start over,
to make new goals.
but i'm still stuck
in last months
grief.
in love that never
stayed.

everything now
feels muted --
calm
and in the wrong way.
its sort of like
the silence
after a gentle storm
you didn't see
was the end.

i used to think
love
was loud.
but the truth is,
it leaves
quickly
and quietly...
and all at once.

I have memorized a million things
about you, little one
like the way your pinkies
on both tiny, pudgy hands
are just the slightest bit crooked

the way you always brush your hair
messy, brown, and unruly
out of your face
so you can view the world
with those huge curious eyes

I have memorized the way you walk
each tiny little step
with your toes pointed slightly inwards
inside your favorite rain boots
with the tractors printed on them

the way you smile
that glowing, mischievous smile
with all your tiny white teeth
the smile that always reaches your eyes
because you don't know any other way to smile

I have memorized the way you say my name
my first and middle name, combines into one
when it slips off your tiny tongue
you say it with importance and need
I only love my name when it comes from you

the way you sleep
curled up tight into a ball
on your stomach
with all your legs and arms
tucked securely beneath your body

I have memorized every sign
that a nightmare is coming
so I can hold you tight
curled against my body
so you won't feel unloved

I have learned how to manage
your screaming, crying tantrums
how to say the right words to calm you
and the right tone to whisper that I love you
because I do

I love you, little one
from your smile to your eyes
your pinkies to your dreams
you are everything to me
and I know you best of all.

You are like a flower
sturdy and prevailing
colorful
Beautiful

You are like a flower
you may be missing petals
but those petals were used to make wishes

you thrive in nature
where all people can admire your beauty
and you may not know it
but they know

you are like a flower
winds may sway you
but the storms can never break you
that's what flowers do
they flourish with rain
and when the sun hits their face
they feel it all throughout

So you stay rooted in nature
knowing you're beautiful
knowing that your beauty is contagious
and we cannot help but to always pick you

Over every other flower in the field.

what is so good about place ,
you ask, what is so good about hello poetry

well my dear friend its because
this place is filled with people who know
what it's like to be broken
who help you heal your wounds

there are no cruel comments
no judging tones
just poetry, just kindness
just bliss, just peace

why do I like this place so much?
because it is filled with poets
and I am a poet
so its perfect for me