sadness 6.9.25 (7:04 pm / 19:04)
sitting   h e r e
in the dark
i can feel her presence
sadness is a strange all consuming friend.
she takes all of your time
she feeds off of your happiness

i know how this goes, this is how it is with me and friends
but
this is something else

she sits by your side while you cry in the unlit room
she brushes out your hair and whispers nonsense in your ears
until you stop breathing hard
and your heart stops beating fast

until you stop breathing
and your heart stops beating

sadness will not stop you when you drag razors across your arms
sadness will not care when you hold her, she will not hug you back
but at least she won’t be afraid
at least she’ll never leave

she holds out your hand
for you to take
and she crushes your fingers
pushing you back down to the ground

sadness is a fickle friend
but she’ll always make sure you’re never alone

playing: yours by conan gray

it has been days since I last talked to you
it's been very freeing
not having to worry about saying
the wrong thing
and being too much
or not enough
I could never be just right for you
there was always something wrong
with me or what I did or said
it's so freeing not talking to you
being ignored or forgotten
I am free now that I'm no
longer trapped in the shackles
disguised as love and kindness
that you gave me

I will lose myself
if it means you can have it all.

I will give everything
if it means you will smile again.

I will, I will, I will.

I want to be the dandelion
growing in between the cracks
in the sidewalk
living in spite
of everything trying to
**** it

worth it 6.4.25 (7:22 pm / 19:22)
you’re a little hard to love often enough
you’re a little difficult to tell what’s up
but you’re completely worth it

you are worth every single tear shed
you are worth every angry text sent
you are worth every moment of silence
you are worth every second you breathe
and breathe and live

you’re a little strange sometimes
you’re a little embarassing, i’ll admit
but you’re forever worth it