i screamed your name until the ceiling cracked 5.7.25 (3:55 pm)
i cared too much about you to let you go
i cried for hours
i screamed your name until the ceiling cracked
and fell on me

i knelt in the shards of a roof and cut myself with them
until grief ran in red rivulets

it wasn’t fair, was it
because it also wasn’t your fault
it was mine too,
there’s blame to share

since forever 5.13.25 (8:08 am)
i feel like i’ve known you since forever
i feel like you and i have walked a thousand miles
in each other’s shoes
i feel like you know every place i’ve been

i feel like you and i
we’ll be together forever
i think you see all of me
i think maybe i see all of you

you never try to tell me who i am
you’re never looking for me
we just found each other

found each other, such a lucky thing
maybe i do believe in luck after all

lunar cycle 5.16.25 (10:11 am)
the lunar cycle continues forever
rotating and rotating and forever and forever

crescent, half, full
rewind
life
death
black
white

again and again
everything lit silver
a kind of surreal light

the kind that makes you want to lie down
on a dewy field of flowers
and stay there forever
watching the moon

oh juliet 5.17.25 (1:39 pm)
juliet, i’m sorry
sorry on behalf of humanity, i guess

juliet capulet
i’m sorry
they sold you off and he took you away

look i know you loved him
but why
i don’t think you ever should have met

oh juliet,
you weren’t even fourteen yet

it was only a mere thirteen years
and no longer a maiden
like you should have been forever

oh juliet, you deserved so much
so much better
i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry you died

by choice i know,
but a girl shouldn’t be ruled by a man

oh juliet
you should have had a throne
not a rusty dagger, not crying in the end
it’s no wonder she killed herself,
what’s a girl to do with a life like that?

juliet, in the next life
don’t cry
real queens don’t need a king
the only thing a boy’ll give you’s imprisonment
he’ll only treat you like a ******* toy

oh juliet
the more strength you have
as boundless as the sea,
the more it will be infinite

if i told you i missed you 5.19.25 (7:13 pm)
love is really just knowing
isn’t it?
love is really just sitting next to each other
without even asking
love is just holding hands in hallways
the nice kind of silence
love is just sitting together and talking and talking
love is never getting tired of someone else

if i told you i missed all that
what would you do?
if i told you i missed you
would you come back?

every possibility 5.19.25 (7:55 pm)
if i told you i loved you
what would you do

would you scream at me
how could i ruin this
would you cry
because i’ve been trying to be someone else
would you just sit there
would you hold me
would you tell me bye

in every possibility i have in my head
you don’t love me back
so i know it can’t be possible

the fall 5.20.25 (4:29 pm / 16:29)
none of us are really afraid of heights
we’re afraid of the fall
we’re afraid of the pain
and what will happen when we hit the ground

is it wrong to not be scared
is is wrong to want that

i’m insane i know
i’m not all right, yes, i know

i know i wouldn’t care if i slipped
i know i’d be happy freefalling down
i know that wouldn’t be a bad end of me

maybe that’s wrong
to want to destroy such a gift
life

[playing: dandelion and hampstead by ariana grande]