He was a desert and I was rain but he decided he liked the feeling of sun on his skin better than raindrops.

Speak in tongues,
wear only yellow from now on,
cover the street in paint,
lay naked on the lawn,
shout loudly in my ears,
pour out your soul,
roll around in all your fears,
help me lose control,
forget what I’ve become,
make me feel something, anything,
as now I am nothing
but numb.

I love the thought of being the
             first
                    in
                       your
                            thoughts.
I truly admire the idea of being the
               pioneer
                      in
                       your  
                            mind.
And if I am not the pioneer in your mind, then surely, I am the pioneer in your heart!
I know this to be true by the way you look at me with your twisting, dark eyes.
The light that rests there is the light I put there.
And I will
                 cherish
                           that
                                 first
                                       forever.

Saw you standing there
beneath the dim gas station lights.
You looked so out of place like
the sun out at night.
Kept your head hung low, still
your eyes met mine.
Even though you tried to
hide its glow, I saw
your stardust inside.

How can I be so completely, head-over-heels in love with you and still dream of another?

In my dreams, I see a man, an old friend, what might have been.
But he isn’t the one that steals softly the breath from my lungs at the very mention of his name.

That is how I know he is no more than a shadow, and I am where I am meant to be —in the light of your love.

Diamonds and gold,
honey and ice,
glittering,
should the two ever mix
it would be chaotic
but somehow,
they are charming
draped ‘round
her caramel
throat

I  w a n t  y o u
i n  l a y e r s

L i e  d o w n  o n
Y o u r  s k i n

P e e r  d e e p
d o w n  b e l o w

S e e  w h a t  
L i e s  w i t h i n



I  w a n t  y o u
I n  p i e c e s

T h e  w h o l e
I s  t o o  m u c h

T o  a d m i r e  a t
O n e  t i m e

F o r  n o w,  j u s t
a  t o u c h

Call it love at first sight, or even lust,
but know it for what it is - familiarity.
You see, the second I first locked eyes with you,
I realized I was missing an integral piece of myself.
I realized, you and I were made from the same stardust
and no matter what I do, I can’t shake the feeling
that the universe put us in this one spot in
space and time so that we could come
together to set fire to the skies.

I was never one for the daylight,
rather a soul made for
the nighttime.
Stepping out
on the cold concrete, barefoot
to see the stars
was more my schtick than
was watching the sunset.

You pulled my hair, left bite marks and handprints on my skin and left me sore all over, but it was a good kind of pain.

It was the kind of pain you yearn for the second it begins to heal.

Honestly, I didn't mind the markings either, they showed that I was yours and yours alone.

So unlike the markings on my heart, the scars of all the other men who had hurt me, not out of love, not out of pleasure, but out of hatred and malice.

So, know, when I tell you that pulling my hair doesn’t hurt and that I like it when you leave your markings on my skin it is true, because the pain you inflict on me comes from a place of love and that could never hurt me.

I’ve found that I don’t mind
the difference between trees
and flowers.
They are all appealing to me.
And being the honeybee, I am,
I’ve found I enjoy the sweet sap
from logs, as much as the flower’s
nectar anyways.

You’ve got this aura, this soft magic about you that keeps me in orbit.
I couldn’t walk away even if I wanted to.

Your sapphire eyes rival the deep
morning sky, the abyssal depths
and the richest royal blue ever
hewn from the earth.

When I look into your eyes,
I see a sapphire sea, a sapphire
sky I could get lost in for years
if only, you’d let me.

perfect
hide
burning
breathe
dying
flinch
run
disappointment
usel­ess
wrong

These are just some words
that come to mind when
he does.

As it turns out, despite his
opinion, I was always the
first word and he was always
the last.

It’s been days, weeks, months and an eternity since
I’ve done something useful with these hands.
I make no exaggeration, I’ve been stagnant for so long
now, no motivation, no drive, no power to turn over within myself.
I wish I could keep my spirits lifted on my own, so it wouldn’t
have to be your duty, love.
But every time I put my lips on yours and lay eyes on your face,
I remember what I was put on this earth for.
Only you can reignite the flam within me.
Only you can stir me.
Only you can make waves within me, love.

I wasn’t gluttonous, but for you, ravenous.
It was always lust, never true love.
You gave everything, I was greedy, still.
It wasn’t something for others to envy.
I took pride knowing you were mine.
How could I know that being a sloth,
I’d lose you to my heart’s wrath.

He sleeps with the air on, the sound in the background
somehow d r o w n s out the chaos around him.
She sleeps with him, beside her because the sound of
his breathing does the same.

“Love hurts”
“Love *****”
“I hate love”

That is not love, my dear.
It is but part of the journey in finding it.

I’ve spent what feels like months in a haze.
I can’t seem to shake it, it won’t go away.
I breathe in deep, to try and clear my mind.
Even if it leaves, it comes back every time.

Day after day,
sun after sun,
moon after moon,
you and I become one.

Grown together like roots,
our strength runs years’ deep.
I promise you my heart,
for yours to keep.

Entangled in your arms,
you I wrap around,
like roots of a great tree
deep in the ground.

Not the wearing of water
or the roaring of wind
could ever break us
in two again.

I kept the roses you gave me
on our first Valentine’s day
Even though they’re dried out now
and crumbling away
Somehow they smell even sweeter
even after all this time
And every whiff reminds me, I’m still
yours and you’re still mine.

There is something profound in the way that just a singular thought of you can take me to another place, another universe, another eternity. Here, there is no hate, no violence.
Here in this place, there is perfection and there is you.

Often, I cannot tell the difference.

In a world full of darkness
I become your midnight sun.
I’ll wrap ‘round you in warmth and light.
I promise to keep you safe, by my side.
Even in the dark of the night, I’ll be the one
who stays with you through the thick, through the thin,
your loving guide.


Found poem in Tinashe's "Aquarius."

Spring came and went with
the sweet smell of flowers
and the sound of chirping swallows.

Summer melted away beneath
the sun’s beating rays.
We watched her go slowly like
a sunburn fading to tan.

Fall flew by, like a leaf caught
by the autumn wind, gone without
so much as a whisper.

Now that winter is here, I am
left waiting for the next repetition,
but the days drag on, the cold lingers,
and time stands still beneath the snow.

I sway,  o p e n  to
the music, as I am in such a
v u l n e r a b l e  state, as if my walls
have come down, and my soft shell
has been e x p o s e d , and the music is a dagger that
moves straight through to my heart and
s o u l .

Fireworks sound inside my chest every single time I hear those voicemails you sent me at 2 a.m.

The melancholic, nostalgic feeling you get while watching her dance, it’s like you’ve stopped breathing and she’s carbon-monoxide, but you remember what your last breath was like -without her, and you’d rather suffocate.

It's like standing at the edge of a cliff watching everything you've ever loved and hoped for fall to the rocks below.

It's like being the smallest soul, the loneliest one in the world with enough hurt in your heart to rip you apart because your skin can't hold the nuclear bomb being detonated inside you.

It's standing beside your soulmate, watching them carry on without you as you slowly implode.

Can you take me flying?  
                              Like we once did?
                                    Could you take my hand and throw me to
                           the sky with you at my heels?

I fear I am sitting still,  like a lake gone stagnant.  
                                      And I want to feel the waves in my bones,
                  the wind in my sails,  again.

So let me fly, my dear, for I fear if I cannot touch the sun,  again, my spark will go out,  for good.

She was never one for dancing, but the way she arched her back
and rocked when we made love, was enough to tell me that she just hadn’t found her song.

Lust is a tricky mistress,
dressing herself as love,
like a wolf in sheep’s clothing.


Haiku (1)

A tricky mistress
Lust is, dressed herself as love.
Wolf in sheep’s clothing.

Haiku (2)

Tricky mistress, lust,
dressing herself as love —a
wolf in sheep’s clothing.

Split down the center as if there were two.
The energy of one is colored a happy yellow,whilst the other is a saddening blue.
One light, one dark.
It is hard to know Gemini’s head and heart.

Constantly, I am
searching for you beneath
overcast skies and between
the iron-wrought, and beautifully
woven, poetic words of others, but
all along you’ve been beside me,
my whispering muse, and
the love of my life,
gently guiding.

As I stood on that mountain alone and windswept, I realized something.

I realized with the quilted land below me and the fiery painted sky above and with the sun coming up to kiss the new day, I wanted to be anywhere but there.

Despite the beauty I faced on that mountaintop, I felt incomplete.

Like the moon without the sun, I felt incomplete.

And I realized, I’d trade the entire world to be in your arms.

I get it, being in the driver’s seat means that you can do nothing but
stare forward, the whole way.

But I’m in the passenger seat and I’m just along for the ride.

I find calm in knowing even if I let the universe move me, I’m still moving.

I’m watching the orange skies and purple clouds pass overhead
without a worry in the world.

I wish you could see them, too.

I always admired the lake-leaves
weightless, almost,         with
lilies of pure white resting
atop the water, as if they had only
              truths to tell.
I wish I could drown     beneath them,
  the     light burning      holes in my
spine, through the cracks in the green,
     purifying me, making me new.
How my tongue drilled       into the dust and
my skin                 willed a lie.
     I couldn’t stop the bleeding        this time, though.
I carved a hole in the dirt and poured
myself into it, the earth       wrapping
               around me
      like soft palms comforting.
The dust falls upon            the skin of my thighs      like dew
on the wings         of the first pale moth       of morning.
And my heart sighs       knowing that I cannot simply
      fly away, that I cannot dig my way out, and
that I am the one        who put me here.

I tried to forget you,
I did, but you took root in me,
wrapped yourself around my
collarbones, and day after day,
I am reminded of how hard it is
to breathe without you.
Day after day, I pick the flower
petals off and am reminded
that you love me
not.

I’ve been drifting for days, floating.
Restless, like salt-battered wood that goes wherever the wind pushes the waves.
Somehow, I always end up at your feet, awash in foam on those white shores.
Tell me, will you drag me out and set me on fire?
It would be more than drifting aimlessly on the breeze.

There is some kind of sadness in my heart when I hear this one song. It just comes alive and dances with the melancholy notes.
I do not know where it comes from, only that it is a part of me, and I’ll carry it with my always, even if I am to hear the same song each day.
I’ve learned to embrace every part of myself, the light and dark parts, the happy and sad, and if I am to spend equal time in happiness and sadness, then **** it, I will at least learn how to harmonize with it.

Your eyes are like the ocean, that blue a vast, limitless expanse.
Dark and twisting as thoughts are pulled beneath the tide.
Eyes so blue that I could become lost in them forever, if only you'd let me.

Last night, we were closer than two people could be,
skin to skin, heart to heart, soul to soul.
You made love to me in the darkness, and when we
were done you pulled me as close as you could and whispered
that you loved me with teary eyes and in that moment, I knew
I’d have to fight to keep my heart from exploding within my chest,
because I loved you so much and being so sinfully close to you
awakened the magic within me.

I need him
I tell myself things like
things will be better soon
I don’t believe that
it will be like this always
I know that
he treats me this way out of love
there is no way
he meant to do it
I know in my heart
that deep down he is good
still, sometimes I think
I don’t need him



Re-read the poem up from the bottom.

You said
“be quiet.” “hold your breath.” “not a word.”

Only not in so many words.

Lifted a finger to those familiar lips and signaled that if I made a sound, you’d stop.

You must have known what blissful torture it was, caught between pleasure and the inability to tell you of it.

For eight long years, I’ve known you and during all this time you’ve
been but one of my best friends.

Distance has never been a challenge to us, we always remain within reach.

It is one of my greatest privileges and honors to even know you.
I hope I get to know you for years to come.

I know one thing for certain, if I ever did come face to face with such a spectacular human, I fear, I’d die.

It is easier believing that this entire time I’ve been asleep, dreaming you up, than to face you and have to leave you behind, miles and moons once again between us.

I close my eyes and hear wind and rain slapping the sides of my house.
The windows are open and I am chilled to the bone, but it isn’t because of the storm.

you’ve got galaxies in your mind,
and endless stars inside your eyes,
so, won’t you tell me why
you seem so terrified?

if only you could see how
terrifying a town
my mind is now,
you’d want to get out.

darling, it seems they’re right
when they’re saying things like,
there can be no darkness,
without also, the light.

She sat among the irises,
her irises ringed with
irises, the flowers swaying sideways in the wind

a flower child in the wild
her inner wild growing
wild and even more wild the more she sat in them

a soft magic called from the earth
as she sat upon the earth and
among the earth, it whispered her name from deep within

For once, my room has good lighting.
It is not from the lamp that hangs from the ceiling, casting a yellow glow.
It is from the moonlight washing over you. Washing over me.
For once, I truly see you. You are so much more than the writer or the artist or the brilliant mind.
This night, I see the stardust in your bones.
I see you are more than the flesh and blood and teeth on the outside.
That beauty stops on the outside.
But my dear, you are beautiful, inside and out.
Your stardust is beautiful.
And for once, I see you.

I love when you are
sleeping, for you are
so very lovely
yet, so unaware.

I love how you are
peacefully at rest
in such an open,
vulnerable state.

I love the way you
smile- that hidden smile
I’ve only caught a
few brief glimpses of
during the day-time.

I love what you have
become when you are
dreaming, my dear, the
way you appear more
dazzling, dreaming
beneath silver rays.

I love you for the
creature you’ve become
and for the creature
you’ve made me in this
satin paradise.

Found poem in The 1975's album title, "I Like It When You Sleep, for You Are So Beautiful yet So Unaware of It."

Oh how bittersweet a moment such as this is, knowing never again
will I lay my lips on yours, cup my hand in your hand and wrap myself in your arms, only because you said, somehow from this
we can both be happy.

I do not understand, I will never understand.

I only said that if you were unhappy, I wouldn’t make you stay.

You must let go of that which you love, for keeping it and loving it will not make it love you in return.

I suppose sacrifices such as these are humbling.

They hurt, but remind me I am still human.

I’ve got a lot of bad habits.
I stay up late.
I drink my weight in coffee, daily.
I forget to text you back every now and then,
and when it comes to others, rarely at all do they
get a reply.
I often don’t listen.
I day-dream a lot and find myself in fantasy more than in reality.
I rarely go outside.
But if there is one habit
I have no intention of
breaking, it’s the constant
stream of thoughts that orbit around you.
I refuse to stop loving you and I refuse to stop thinking of you.
On the off chance that I’m not by your side, all my spare time
is devoted to thoughts only of you.
I’d have it no other way.