Lost in my thoughts, lost in my fairy tales
Blinded by fairy lights descending from forest trees
Petals glow and magic flows down the glittering stream
A clear turquoise mirror of my hopes and dreams

A flash of lightning, a clash of thunder
Rain starts pelting down on me
Lost in the woods in the dark I cannot see
Reaching ahead, there's only a silent grin

Fear and trepidation infused with hope and exhilaration
An adventure I've always imagined!
A tantalizing waft of charisma caught my nose
Following it through the darkness, losing all my senses

The rain is getting stronger and I am getting colder
The wind makes me shiver despite the warmth of my blood
I can barely keep my eyes open in the darkness
Should I let down my guard and let you guide me through this chasm

A hand took my hand
I gave you control

I heard your voice calling my name
I give up control

Tentatively I opened my eyes
It had stopped raining
It was quiet
There was no fairy dust

The forest is gone and so is the stream
Perhaps finally, I've made it to reality.

Torn between logic and passion
Despair coursing through my veins like ocean waves, wave after wave
Inundating me, suffocating me
My breath leaves my lips in a silent prayer,
My lungs igniting in flames,
Consuming the last of all
Oxygen
I'm only left with one shield
I'm torn, so torn between myself and you

so much and so much more that I could never have said
shut in my throat, lost words that dissolve when I try to grasp at them.
so much and so much more that we could have been
gone are the days when everything mattered equally.

from here on there is
so much distance between us.
no matter how much I run, no matter how much I push,
my knees would buckle under me, my arms would fall limp by my side,
as I see you moving forward, further and further.
shaking, I reach out.
your name, a syllable that rests on the edge of my lips
lost in the howling wind.

so much and so much more we could have become
slowly but surely, your silhouette fades out in my vision.

Boom.

That's the sound I hear when I squeeze my eyes shut
And clamp my hands over my ears.

Boom.

It sounds like fireworks.
The kind that surge into the air, disappear for a short moment,
Before exploding into a million pixels of luminance
With a loud and vibrant

Boom.*

Gingerly, I remove my hands from my head
Listening to the pitter-patter against my window
Watching the white flash of—

I squeeze my eyes shut, head lowering, hands tight against my ears, knees close to my chest, eyes shut, hands tight against my ears, breathing paused, heart pounding.

A low *grumble.

I open my eyes, hands still against my ears.
The sky is very black.
Some fears
Leave a scar too deep
To be overcome
No matter how many lies you tell yourself.

Desires unlimited, invisible hues spiraling up into the shrouded sky
Ringing in my ears a brimming sense of hope
Enveloping my heart as it swelled, pumping
Adrenaline through my blood. Eyes tracing the invisible trajectory skywards
"May my wishes be realised." A prayer whispered
Soft like a baby's breath, soft like the landing of an autumn leaf.

Lingering in the air was an acrid stench of Impatience.
Ears straining to hear the resounding boom which should have followed, eyes frantically searching for the vibrant colours which should have followed. Yet, it was just
Silence.

Retreating, surrendering, it doesn't matter which came first.
Energy sapped and knees scraped, the monotone of each day resumed.
Agreed, my heart still skips whenever a flicker of hue shines through the blinds. Yet,
Left behind were the days when I would abandon my demons to chase the
Intangible bright lights.
Thrown behind were the days when new scents would make me dance in the rain.

Yesterday, I slept while diamonds lit up the sky.

how do I find strength in silence
where do I find courage in darkness
my heart can't take blows one after another
I know you can't help it
yet please
tell me your hidden thoughts so I can carry them
tell me your anxieties so I can allay them
let me be strong enough to carry both our worlds
even if my spine snaps or my shoulders break
trust me
I'll be strong enough to carry both our worlds

Too cold inside for
Angels to fly
No warmth inside so
Angels die
Too empty inside
The angels died
In the silence
The demons rise