I dont know how to escape this numb feeling,
Will I be able to break free from this ?
Will time heal all of it?
Or will another love replace this broken heart of mine?
Or will I just go on not needing any of these.
Time please dont let me down.
Hope please dont dissapoint me.
I am counting on you, mind.

I think I finally understand.

I'm the part of you you'd never felt worth venturing
And you're the part of me that I always desired,
That driven connection we have,
Its like two souls intervene so magically , so effortlessly,
That magnetic field we resonate ,
Is connecting us beyond what we ever expected,
No pressure, No negative intuitions,
Your spirit rejuvanates my spaces of unfurnished emptiness,
Your honest acceptance of me is chivalrous,
Need i say much about how comfortable we ease ourselves to let it go,
That deep spiritual connection we have is something i want to cherish,
I love how you throw off your inner thoughts at me,
Your love is enticing, so sensual,
I want you to indulge in my overflowing appetite of love for you
Let me love you inside out,
Allow me to counterpoise your darkside,
I wish to reside in the space between your heart and loneliness so that the two may never meet again,
You started a war in my heart, and I can't let it end now baby,
I am going to surrender to your carefree love,
Temper me with your protectiveness,
I wont be able to resist your soul,
I want to be in your circle of growth,
Fertilize me with your pureness,
Your ravishing personality amazes me,
Oh sweetheart,
Our craving and desire for one another light's us up whenever we meet eyes now. I never want that to go away,
For all that we had in the past, For all that we have now, lets allow our hearts to lead us into this path of perpetual love. <3

I hate how all your love was a lie,
Yes i am a victim of your manipulation,
Your lies,
You cheat,
You betrayer,
I thought you wanted me,
But you just needed me
Used,
You were always ready to let me go.
How could i have been blinded to all your nasty moves?
Was i too blinded for the love i had for you.
All those nights when you said you were busy, in truth you were with her.
I begged you to have a future with me, while without a second heart beat you readily said we will never be together,
I still had hope.
But you , all you ever do is torture me mentally, physically and emotionally,
You blamed me.
You always won my heart by your tears and pitiful wailing,
I always gave you umpteen chances,
but why? Because i loved you.
You never did.
And i have to sleep with the fact my lover betrayed me for 4 years.

I'm tired.
I'm tired of exams.
I'm tired of studying day and night for a piece of paper which literally determines my next job application.
That doesn't make any sense.
I could be **** good at something not a paper is worth for, but will i be given a chance to prove so?
I'm tired of exams
Aren't you?

The unapologetic ways you show your love,
When you hold my hand, and say im the only one,
But make everyone else feel that way too,
That heartwarming seconds when you say you can't live without me,
but really i can feel you letting me go ,
The unforgivable part when you say im the reason behind your happiness,
but why i feel its just another fairy tale,
then when do all these words actually bring a meaning,
when ever does it,...
But what did i ever do wrong,
Was wanting you to be my one and only a sin,.
Was it so wrong to want something , to invest in soemthing that could be mine forever,
was it so wrong to take a chance and risk it all,
you begged for me,
Once.
upon
a
time.
and that was it,
Now i can see where you stand,
i can also see my value in your eyes,
that grip of hand when you held me on the first day left me abruise i never regret, because i knew it was pure love,
but now the bruises you leave behind are those nothing but heartaches and pain,
those words you say to me I want you , I need you, i LOVE YOU are all replaced with a silent cry of Please leave me alone.,
So i shall,
one day, one day when im strong enough to let go of the one thing i never saw myself doing
but it was never me who wanted to leave,
you pushed me away,slow and bitter, like a tainted metal scraper dragging through the streets of confusion
I wished you never derailed so far like this,
but i wish one more thing,
Please dont victimised another poor girl who adores you,
dont be quick to fall in love and make empty broken promises,
So before i leave, let me run through your hair lines one last time,
let me fiddle with your warm palm,
let me gently lay a kiss on your cheek,
let me sniff your neck, oh its my favorite for one last time,
so maybe,
just maybe you will remember what it felt like loving me,
but if you did change your mind, i wont be giving you that second chance sweetheart,
i shall not regret it once again, tho deep in my heart i can feel a knife slicing me into halves,
But no, i shall not take that road again.
for all that's left is for me to leave.
Something you never found it difficult to do.
Goodbye sweetheart.

Would you stop abusing the world I Love You.
It doesnt mean anything to me anymore.
I dont believe in love. After all, everything nice and happy in the beginning will eventually fade and only sadness will fill in those spaces.
Why waste those three effortless words when in reality its taken for granted.
I don't want to hear those three words not unless you can define it without an explanation nor without saying it.
Please stop this infectious spread of I love You if you don't carry a permanent everlasting meaning to it.

Im more than the girl sitting on the green couch every night sacrificing my sleep just to talk to the boy she gave herself too , every inch, unfortunately he now sets alarms to call me  just so he remembers while i sit on the green couch still waiting after 4 years.