I found you when i was 12, or did you find me when you were 14?
I love you. They only way I'd let you jump off a bridge was if I could join you.

I am 17 now and you are 19, I want you, and I feel stupid writing this but this is the only I can feel relief.  I know you can feel the awkwardness between us when we are together and trust me I wish I could change that. I wish you'd give me a ******* chance.

The other night I couldn't sleep because of you, you were running through my mind like a horse on a track. I probably had a border line panic attack because i couldn't stop think about you with someone else doing ***** things that you and I both know you wouldn't do, at least I'd like to tell myself that. You are beautiful, lovely, and goofy. So any songs remind me of you and when you are around I play those songs and hope you listen to those ******* lyrics because honestly I couldn't tell you how I feel so I let those songs I love so much play to you. because I over think and panic and cant speak so I let those songs do it for me.

I am a *****.

I turn the silvery nozzle,
Let the water fill the tub,
Slowly slipping in,
Letting the steam rise above

They say a hot bath cures all,
It relieves stress and pain,
As it washes over those who are tired, drained,

My physique is feeling fine,
But lately it's my mind that's been aching,
Doubts and frustrations,
Sweet apparitions that bear no fruits,
Fill my brain like a silencing mute

Sinking in, I let the bubbles sway and pop,
The refreshing dampness takes its course,
I try to relax and close my eyes,
While both the heat and darkness arise

But I struggle and cannot remain still,
As the gallons pour,
I reopen my eyes and realize,
That no amount of physical remedies,
Will ever take these thoughts of you away

No matter to which waters I may seek,
The sultry seas of the Mediterranean,
Or the holy healing powers of the Lourdes,
It presents no issue,
For there is no cure to wash astray,
Images of my dear in these upcoming days

i-

well,
      ****.

Remember when you'd hug me goodbye and the words 'I love you' escaped my mouth like my body knew you meant more than I would ever let myself know. Remember when I wrapped myself up in smoke like I wrapped myself up in everyone's goodbyes because holding on to something, even when it kills you, is easier than letting go. Remember when you pulled me in closer and every will of my being screamed to push you away and keep walking, but every tiny nerve craved your hands around my waist and the temptation to stay when it's all so wrong is too much. In all reality's I'm just too scared of the 'what ifs' that'll haunt my head once we're through because if we tried long enough we could be more than something great. Remember the way my lips moved and the way my fingers ran down your neck as if every muscle in my body needed you to know, wanted you to know, that I love you more than I could let my voice admit.

the light was there but I was blind
the image never leaves my mind
you sat there and laughed while I laid there and cried
you smiled and laughed while I frowned and died
your force was too strong for my innocent no
you were all hyped up and ready for a show
why did I have to be the doll in your stupid little game
you're the reason why I hide myself in shame
when I got home I cried for days
stupid enough to trust your ways
I'm up all night crying myself to sleep
my innocence was no longer mine to keep
I dream of you at night ya know
knowing how much you enjoyed the show
your friends were there and they didn't hear
your friends are people I also fear
I said no and stop but nobody saved me
I cried and pleaded but my voice was missing
but don't worry not all the joy wasn't just by you
more pain came by another two
I wish I would've been more smart
and listened to my dying heart
I've added up the pain
the life I had is drained
there's nothing left for me to gain
3 of y'all have permanently damaged my brain
you all wanted to play and you all wanted to touch
but saying no just wasn't a ******* enough
you're the only one who beat the game
the one who left me with the most shame
the one who caused my depression
the one who stole my possessions
all I do now is hide in my room and cry
they ask what's wrong I say a headache such an easy lie
but the truth is I'd honestly rather die

As tears run down her face,
she realized she's made a mistake.
An utter suffocation,
she's trying to hold on.
But the pain,
the pain's to strong.
The bloods running down her wrist
Her eyes are going shut
but she's trying to hold on
while voices in her head are saying something is going wrong.
She doesn't know where she is or even why she did it.
It started with a razor and a few little cuts.
But became addictive and she cut to much.
Now she's laying on her bed,
wishing she could go back.
As the world disappears and everything goes black.

Like an apple that has fallen from our tree,
my soul is rotting and I've taken you down with me.
Deep in the emotions of my misery
are the feelings that cannot ever seem to be set free.
You could say others have had it worse than me,
but until you take a few steps in the worn out path of my misery,
with the burdens I've carried, only then can you unravel my mystery.
If only to stumble on shards of glass,
only then to empathize the pain that I stash.
The scars always there never to vanish,
never to be repaired.
The physical pain may have vanquished,
but the emotional pain will always lay stagnant in our mind,
Always to remind us of our broken home.
The pain we endured through our childhood
made permanent cracks in the building blocks of our foundation.
Leaving the ones who've moved into our life
to mend the cracks with their love,
to suffer the sometimes bitterness that was left behind,
forever in our minds

I can't talk to anybody,
I feel like nobody understands,
So I pick up some paper and grab me a pen.
You see me smile, but if you only knew
The things that I hold onto
And just can't seem to let go.
I know I must forgive, and I said that I do,
But I don't really think that I actually do.
Forgive my mother, my brothers friend, moms boyfriend, and aunt's boyfriend
For the pain they put me through as a kid.
I spoke up, no one listened.
So it continued on and I just didn't mention
The things that went on in the middle of the night.
It happened before, so maybe it's all right.
At 5, at 8, at 9 and 10.
Over and over and over again.
She caught him, forgave, got married, nothing changed.
I'm over it now, I really am.
I think about it every now and then.
Have trouble sleeping at night.
I say it don't hurt now, when I shake at night.
I know the only way to get over it,
Is to open up and speak,
But when I spoke when I was younger,
No one heard me.
So you tell me, WHAT THE HELL DO I DO,
When that voice in my head keeps saying,
You're wasting your time, no one cares about you.
I can't shake that, I've believed that my whole life.
I'm just glad that I have a pen, paper, and the ability to write.
'Cause when I feel like no one hears me,
I just write