As tears run down her face,
she realized she's made a mistake.
An utter suffocation,
she's trying to hold on.
But the pain,
the pain's to strong.
The bloods running down her wrist
Her eyes are going shut
but she's trying to hold on
while voices in her head are saying something is going wrong.
She doesn't know where she is or even why she did it.
It started with a razor and a few little cuts.
But became addictive and she cut to much.
Now she's laying on her bed,
wishing she could go back.
As the world disappears and everything goes black.

There it is. My favorite thing of all this,
Ah the feeling of pain is gone from before and new form entered me.
Laying here waiting for you to come home.
I open my eyes and see flashes of you and me from before you went.
You walk inside.
You call to me and wait for an answer.
You hear small light breaths coming from the bathroom.
Thinking it is me, you walk down the hall with a smile.
The kind that makes your knees go weak.
You walk in, oh god, is all you can think.
I'm trying to look up at you but I can't move.
A cold chill comes comes over me as you pick me up.
You say we are going to the hospital and that everything will be okay.
You rush me in.
Blood running down
The nursen rushes you to a bed so I can lay down.
I can hear you asking her something.
But I can't make the words out.
I feel something cold and wet touch me face then my arm.
I feel the ***** of a sharp object go in my right arm.
And a band-aid go around and around.
After I slept for two days they let you in.
I can move again and open my eyes.
You say that I got 76 stitches because the cuts were way to deep,
And that I almost died.
I pull off the band-aid and look.
I see I over 20 cuts and begin to cry.
You tell me its okay, and we will get some help.
About five years from now..
We have two to deal with ourselves.
A beautiful baby boy and baby girl?
Jake and Emma.
The scars are still there
Sometimes I wish I could go back..

Like an apple that has fallen from our tree,
my soul is rotting and I've taken you down with me.
Deep in the emotions of my misery
are the feelings that cannot ever seem to be set free.
You could say others have had it worse than me,
but until you take a few steps in the worn out path of my misery,
with the burdens I've carried, only then can you unravel my mystery.
If only to stumble on shards of glass,
only then to empathize the pain that I stash.
The scars always there never to vanish,
never to be repaired.
The physical pain may have vanquished,
but the emotional pain will always lay stagnant in our mind,
Always to remind us of our broken home.
The pain we endured through our childhood
made permanent cracks in the building blocks of our foundation.
Leaving the ones who've moved into our life
to mend the cracks with their love,
to suffer the sometimes bitterness that was left behind,
forever in our minds

I can't talk to anybody,
I feel like nobody understands,
So I pick up some paper and grab me a pen.
You see me smile, but if you only knew
The things that I hold onto
And just can't seem to let go.
I know I must forgive, and I said that I do,
But I don't really think that I actually do.
Forgive my mother, my brothers friend, moms boyfriend, and aunt's boyfriend
For the pain they put me through as a kid.
I spoke up, no one listened.
So it continued on and I just didn't mention
The things that went on in the middle of the night.
It happened before, so maybe it's all right.
At 5, at 8, at 9 and 10.
Over and over and over again.
She caught him, forgave, got married, nothing changed.
I'm over it now, I really am.
I think about it every now and then.
Have trouble sleeping at night.
I say it don't hurt now, when I shake at night.
I know the only way to get over it,
Is to open up and speak,
But when I spoke when I was younger,
No one heard me.
So you tell me, WHAT THE HELL DO I DO,
When that voice in my head keeps saying,
You're wasting your time, no one cares about you.
I can't shake that, I've believed that my whole life.
I'm just glad that I have a pen, paper, and the ability to write.
'Cause when I feel like no one hears me,
I just write

You
Lying
Egotistical
Manipulating
Self-centered
Deceiving
Conced­ed
*****

See ya would want to be you and don't let the door hit you in the ***.

Oh, buy the way, don't bother calling.

I trap myself in this cage with only my soul, my thoughts and a glass of water,
The darkness around me whispers to me,
It goes dead silent,
Pins dropping is all that was allowed to be herd,
My chest tightened,
The dead air was burying me into the silence,
Taking all I had,
I try to shut my eyes but he wants me to watch,
The room dies again,
All that is allowed to be seen is darkness,
Then he appears.