Leila

Leila Apr 2013

I think that I’ve gone crazy, mindless.
I’ve lost sight of myself, i am spineless.
I know no controls, I cannot empathize.
A soul that's long been sold and a heart desensitized.
Blood flows through me cold, my pulse mechanized.
Anger's a thousandfold and every second emphasized.

Leila Apr 2013

A Vast Sky

If ever there is a light in the distance, the moment it begins to warm me the circuit overloads and explodes in the distance.
Just close enough for me to know something drastic has happened but far enough to be confused as to the specifics of what happened.
And I am left alone in the darkness.

Leila Apr 2013

Dirt on the Ground

I hope to get sick
And die soon someday
My death couldn't come soon enough
I'm tired of the delay

In the agony of meantime, I am submersed
I know i've long been cursed
Believe what you will, it carries no worth
I’ll speak my discord regardless, and in verse...
There are no words to accurately describe
My nightmares coming alive
No soul bearing being could possibly contrive
It is a punishment that I survive
Broken is my fate
Even my shadow leaves ruin in its wake
All I touch I violate
Into pieces my core apart breaks
The remains haphazardly surround
Every clump mixed into the dirt on the ground
Only distinguishable is my heart as it pounds
And pounds...forever, as pain has no bounds

Leila Apr 2013

Derecho

Everything in me starts turning,
as this haze gently shrouds.
The blood within in me begins burning,
when I see it creeping in with the clouds.
What I feel is concerning,
all my fears are now awake.
The universe so clearly affirming,
this twilight is opaque.
My soul inside me churning,
as all my life's at stake.
Each move must be discerning,
every chance I must take.

Reads forward & backwards

Leila Apr 2013

Poppies and Parables

I didn't know a moment so calm could become this chaotic.
I never thought our downfall would be narcotics.
How can I be surprised, after so many years?
My hero has long disappeared.
Why does my mom need that pill?
We all suffer the pain she's trying to ****.
We are all tainted, our anger too easily riled.
She got what she wanted, I never even got be a child.
Any identifiable traits of humanity are gone.
To pain pills I am now a pawn.

Leila Apr 2013

Ruins

How can I define to you in a rhyme
My pain, melodically, nurtured by time

How can I make anyone feel what I feel
When all I know are lies, how can I make this real

Let me bring you down with me
As we walk through the fires, tell me what you see

Let me throw you to the lions blindfolded
Stand your ground and see how long you can hold it

Give me 18 years to destroy your worth
I’ll be in your brain til you regret your birth

Let me sully all that surrounds you
You'll thank God for the worst you've been through

Only when you have to hide like I hid
Will you know pain like I did

Leila Apr 2013

Ballistics

Once you've lost love,
loving is never the same thereafter.
You'll cherish more your laughter.
You'll think differently when you see a man.
His looks will go through you like a bullet through your heart.