I feel as though my life is ending
Must I say so, think so, feel something so wrong?
Am I?
Do I know when there is a beginning?

Do I know?
Beginning at a point - ending at a line

Do I know what it feels like to triump ?
To honestly lose ?
To succeed or to fail ?

Should I?  Will I ?

Do I wish to shoot cuspid's bow and arrow? Will I? Could I ?
I have never left my target out.
But will a change in heart occur?

Will I change?

Can we......
I feel - is all this - wrapped in knots, hope, cloud, and a clout to my head
A motion, flashed - twitched in a second, innuendos
The clock handle moving - while our motion is steady - untouched
Building and falling. Your bravery marked on us both, forever falling to your grip

Green, blue, purple, lively love my dear
Have you whispered sweet nothings
In ones soft ear, caressing them in a trans
Whispering 'it's you'
Finally, a dream caught in your sunrise
The hands you hold me with mold into my side
Marking my hide - burning inside
With passion - fumed, full of embers crystallizing
Will you bring me - collide to me - send me to you
You whisper on my neck touching slowly - counting the galaxy
The lunar collection piled on my back
The mountains of smoke collect in your misted breathe
And your holding me by a whisper - and I drag my arms
Holding you -
Fervor of your brushes - the taste of your wind
Surrounds me - holds me

The world's tipped on its axis, yet my mind is tripped over you
Lost in relish of giddy tickled touches - fools stuck in a dreaming pool of love
Light rays land on your hand guiding a touch once more
You do, hold me - and I you

Her chair by the grandfather clock
Creaked with ticking and tocking - a moment awaits
She grips her hands softly
Her furrowed brow creased and squinted a moments memory
The pillows of green lounged and her lover caressed her golden locks

1964

In memories of black and white his arms carried her
She carried him with her
In plushness, her cheeks puffed, her lips puckered
Her blue eyes gleaming vivaciously
As the waving goldness of yellow and orange waved back and forth
Leaning their backs towards the eye of the sun
The couple gleefully, held on to one another

Hours turned over into days - passing by time
They gripped tight on to eachother.
Moving in they moon danced to the stars
Sleeping in their hammock
Yet she felt him loosen with ease
The flower by their sink rotten and cumbled into oblivion
She cried for days yet they held on to each other

The mail man comes early today.....

She heard him cry
The foreboding of death crawled into their home, unexpectedly
The grim fate had him pulled him away
Cut loose and shield our touches - his departure to the battlefield

His flights leaves and time is the hourglass
She recalls the night of his departure vividly

6:34 - Fighting

6:41 - Screaming

6:45 - All of the kitchen ware is shattered

6:53 - Him gluing the parts together

7:00 - Making love

7:39 - Him walking down the street waving

7:45 pm - Lights out

Current Day

Every day sitting
Lights out
Sipping white wine in a tea cup - awaiting a knock

The slow creak of her door opens
Opens ever so slightly, yet she sees a tall shadow
She steps up, puts her cup down and sees someone

Every death
I have felt, or known,
In silence, i mourn,
Within my breath...

No words come upfront
Just thoughts, preponderant...

I'd feel the freezing cold of an empty space
Feel the absence...clearly imagine a lost face
No smiles, spanning from cheek to cheek
Eyes, seek answers...
suddenly, I'm there by the shallow water of the creek
While some nearby creatures quietly chirp...and squeak
While I......... I could not even speak...

Living,
Is realizing...and accepting
At the right time, they turn brown, the weeds...and reeds,
But, under the water...waiting, growing...are their seeds
Brown ferns...are almost detached from a mossy concrete wall
With a strong current, and wind, they'd be carried...ready to fall

The driftwood lying by the shore...is always wet, but petrified
Brown fallen leaves, on the green grass...no more hold...crisp and dried,
The dead bark of a tree...in pieces...are crumbling...
Merging with the wet earth...in a process of fertilizing
Deep down under ....a fresh spark of life is starting.
All these, remind,
Life and death stand side by side,
That in the midst of death-
Something new is birthed...
When faced with death,
there is always someone's living breath
And, as long as the heart wills to beat
Then, life.....will still exist.

Hundreds, or a thousand times,  
We all have died
In the high and low of life's tides,
Physically,
Emotionally.

We remember
Those who have left
Those who have survived..are still around
We think of those who are next to leave,
Waiting for their chests' final heave

---And then, we think of ourselves---

Worry not of our own time
Make each of our remaining days
Be golden, beaming, and bright
With good deeds, and straight pathways

The earth is a moving circle
It makes a round.......as it spins
We try to live outwards....and then, within
Any way we live it...life is an endless cycle.


Sally



Copyright March 23, 2016
Rosalia Rosario A. Bayan

Candidly so,
I'm increased by you
Your love, presence and adoration

Have you came to me so
In beauty, trampled by ways
You can not live without me

Your woes do show
Am I yours - carefully written down
Unknown to you
I am

We've not formally met

We need to find out what's right and
Say goodbye to these lies and

Now the ground is beating
Inside my chest
Now the mountain beating inside me

I feel like an empty cage waiting and wishing - wanting
Kissing life away

Please don't say
I'll always remember the day when you walked away

Can't you see
Can't you be
The neurotic psychopath waiting for his ****
Waiting and wishing at least you're kissing the one beside you
I'm not beside you

Can't confide in you
Find you

Deep inside me......
I can never be who I'm daring to be

Can't you see I'm afraid
Enough with this game
I'm tired of being made
Part of your game

I'm wasting myself away to you