Lawrence Hall, HSG
[email protected]

      O Ring Out Christmas Safety Cautions and Trigger Warnings

We must not overeat at Christmas dinner
We must not pass the doggie a poisonous treat
We must not speak aloud of loser or winner
We must not undercook the veg or meat

We must not argue during the second course
We must not provoke any bitterness or tears
We must not mention our cousin’s divorce
We must not let Momma drink too many beers

We must not drop our guard on Christmas Day -
For it’s all about family (that’s what some say)

Lawrence Hall, HSG
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                            O Little Front Line of Bethlehem

Stopped and questioned multiple checkpoints
A search of their persons and their vehicle
And a stern warning from the local patrol:
“You are not permitted to draw on public funds”

The Holy Family arrives at last at a no-tell inn
“I need to see two forms of identification
And a major credit card from any on this list
Fresh linens are extra; the ice machine is broken”

Surly men in grubby camouflage smoke cigarettes
Occasional gunfire lights up the noisy night

Lawrence Hall, HSG
[email protected]

                             (From The Saint Tibbs’ Day Songbook)

                          Last Christmas I Gave You my Pancreas

I thought there was an idea here
But maybe not
Just a few questions, ma’am
About the guy who received your heart and gave it away
Did he drop it off at a re-sale shop?

Giving a body part at Christmas is sing-able
           Because
“Last Septuagesima Sunday I gave you my heart”
Is not something you can dance to easily
Especially if you have no cardio-pulmonary functions

I thought there was an idea here
Maybe it’s those Nyquil dreams again…

Lawrence Hall, HSG
[email protected]


                                           For Cate and Jack

                                           Or Jack and Cate?

                                                On Christmas


Certain joys about Christmas are always true
For among the season’s constant blessings
                        Are you!

Lawrence Hall, HSG
[email protected]

                                            ­  Do Dogs Have Souls?


                                     “Behold, I make all things new.”

                                                  Revelati­ons 21:3-5


Do dogs have souls?
But how can one look into those big brown eyes
And not know the answer

Lawrence Hall, HSG
[email protected]

                                   We Are Hopeful Romantics

We are hopeful Romantics -
Peeking behind wardrobe doors for a glimpse of Narnia
Awake on Christmas Eve to hear the animals speak
Leaving a saucer of milk for the Fairy-Folk

And if we don’t see Narnia or hear the animals
If the Fairies don’t leave us a thank-you note
Well, that’s okay
For they are true

Someday the wardrobe door will open for us
And then we’ll see…

Lawrence Hall, HSG
[email protected]

                                            ­    Our Dear Leader

Democracy is dead, a memory, a husk
Selected, not elected: President Musk

Lawrence Hall, HSG
[email protected]

          By Reading This Content You Agree to Our Privacy Policy


             It was terribly dangerous to let your thoughts wander
             when you were…within range of a telescreen.

                                                 -Orwell, 1984


But your privacy? Nah; deal with it, you see
Baked beans, magazines and mountain scenes
Vacation trips and handy houseware tips -
They see you, they know you, they hunt you

Podcasts, partisan views, gossipy news
Engine parts, how-to vids, and funny kids
Treating head lice, tax advice, dancing mice
They see you, they know you, they hunt you

Through your made-in-Shanghai Palantir
Adverts will forever make you fear,
                                                           ­         My Precious

(“Palantir” is here an allusion to Tolkien’s genius, not to the software people.)

Lawrence Hall, HSG
[email protected]

                         The President Gets Tough on Firearms


       “I announced dozens of executive actions to keep guns out of
         dangerous hands…”

          Statement from President Joe Biden Marking Twelve Years
          Since the Sandy Hook Elementary School Shooting | The
          White House


The President wants to expand and widen
Gun laws for all that will be applied in
Each state in this nation that we abide in
No exceptions at all; every citizen's tied in

(Except, of course, for Hunter Biden)

Lawrence Hall, HSG
[email protected]

                        The O Antiphons, the Star, and Us

Solstice is not a time when the sun stands still
But rather a season when the sun stands aside
That we may better know the mysteries of deep night
In darkness just before deep Light returns

Out in the cold, and warmly wrapped in hope
We pray the O antiphons as we scan the sky
For the prophetic Star we long to see
The Star that guides us in our wanderings

Solstice is that season when the sun stands aside
So that eternal Dawn may then abide

Lawrence Hall, HSG
[email protected]

                              X, Formerly Known as Twitter

X, formerly known as Twitter
And there is you
Formerly known as you

Go read a book
Go get a job
Go get a life
Go get a clue
Work in the yard
Volunteer at the school
Wash the dishes
Clean up the house
Raise your children
Be positive
Be a role model
Be a real mensch
Be a real friend
Be a neighbor
By the Grace of God
Be truly you

You are no one’s glazed-eye parasite -
Go into the world and do yourself proud

Lawrence Hall, HSG
[email protected]


                              Camp Pendleton in Springtime

                            Field Medical Service School, 1968


There was no warmth in our sleeping bags
Spring rain sluiced down the dark and through our tents
Decaying tents from the Second World War
The Corps would spend no money on tents or us

But we were young, and playing at war was fun
We kept our rifles dry but nothing else
And yarned throughout the cold and soggy nights
Long days and nights mud-fighting the VC

Sometimes an hour or two of soggy sleep
But in my pocket, warm words from my favorite poet

Lawrence Hall, HSG
[email protected]

              About That Beautiful Lady Sipping a Cup of Earl Grey

You’ve noticed her, I see – just a word of advice:
I was chatting with her over cups of tea
I mentioned that Earl Grey also tasted nice over ice -
There was ice indeed as she turned away from me

Lawrence Hall, HSG
[email protected]

                     The Gates of Hell & Ur F8v Bible Slogan Tee

A friend did not leave the church of his youth -
Like a foundering ship it slipped beneath the waves
Sloshings of fashions, shopping-mall usages
And dangling Peavey speakers listing to port

There were not enough bongos and guitars
To keep everyone afloat in a theological storm
A committee sold off the parking lot
There’s a day care now in the parish hall

He signed off his articles for the drowsy watch
And took to dark baptismal waters in despair

Lawrence Hall, HSG
[email protected]

                  Have You Got a License for That Concealed Truth?

                                      Thanks to Traveler and Donall

Don’t point truth or books at anyone unless you mean to bless him
Always open-carry truth and books
Always know what is behind truth and your book
There is no such thing as an unloaded truth or book
Once truth leaves the page you can’t call it back –
                                                   nor would you want to do so
Don’t rely on a book-banner’s safety
Know how to think about truth and books carefully
Store truth and books so that they can be accessed
                                                   by unauthorized persons
You can’t judge a cover by its book




(The “him” in the first line is gender-neutral as it always has been and always will be.)

Lawrence Hall, HSG
[email protected]

                        IT’S THE JEWISH SPACE LASERS!

New Jerseyans threaten to shoot down unidentified drones amid mystery sightings | Fox News

           “This planet shows no signs of intelligent life, Captain.”

                                        -as Mr. Spock might say


Look at them sparkledy lights all up in the skies!
We’re being bombed by the Iranians!
They’re enemy drones, launched by Chinese spies!
No, they’re atom-powered Pomeranians!

QAnon is our infalib…inffal…perfect source of news -
We’re to get out our guns and shoot in the air
Whatever’s happening it’s the fault of them Jews
(But first let us pause for a moment of prayer)

Dear Lord, in your mercy, on this night so still
Just please send us someone or something to ****

Amen

Lawrence Hall, HSG
[email protected]

                      We Expect Too Much From Christmas

We expect too much from Christmas, sure
We should make an effort to work on that –
But we probably won’t

Lawrence Hall, HSG
[email protected]

                                The Cold Kept Me in Today

The cold kept me in today
With a book, my dog, and the fire
The slanting sun, each mote-dusted ray –
It was all very like dear Tolkien’s Shire

Lawrence Hall, HSG
[email protected]

           I Met a Man in Saint Elizabeth’s Hospital Parking Lot

He looked at my brand-new knock-off boonie hat
Pointed to himself, and said “1970”
He rattled on about “Come and Take It” flags
And the “stupid mother*s” who fly them

“The mothering VC wanted to do that
And so I shot them dn’ mother*s”
His wife was waiting for him, impatiently
Sadly, sadly, heard-it-all-before-ly

For he had been no closer to Viet-Nam
Than some John Wayne movie

Lawrence Hall, HSG
[email protected]

                             The Bond Girls are Grannies Now

James Bond’s girlfriends are mostly grannies now
Sweatpants and sneaks instead of bikinis
The school run with the grandchildren, the grocery store
Volunteering at the public library

If one of them mentions that she once kissed Roger Moore
No one knows who he was – the Lone Ranger, maybe?
Adolescent hippie-color fantasies
Budgeting for the little kids’ new shoes

Didn’t you used to be somebody?
Well, yes - and you?

Lawrence Hall, HSG
[email protected]

      Bombshell: The U. K. Daily Mail is Saying the Same Thing

Everyone is saying the same thing jaw-dropping everyone is saying the same thing iconic everyone is saying the same thing breaking cover everyone is saying the same thing bombshell everyone is saying the same thing haunting everyone is saying the same thing mysterious everyone is saying the same thing eye-watering everyone is saying the same thing ******* clad everyone is saying the same thing toned abs everyone is saying the same thing backlash everyone is saying the same thing jaw-dropping everyone is saying the same thing cleavage everyone is saying the same thing bombshell bombshell bombshell

Lawrence Hall, HSG
[email protected]

                      The Holy Eucharist and Then Apple Butter

Church is where someone you don’t even know
Gives you a jar of homemade apple butter
And wishes you a happy Christmas

Lawrence Hall, HSG
[email protected]

                            Somewhere in Syria There is a You

Somewhere in Syria there is a you
Pondering all the existential questions:
What is the meaning of life? Is God real?
Can you get to your job without getting shot?

Your notebooks were hidden from the old regime
Your notebooks are now hidden from the new
Is there enough food for today, for tomorrow -
Rough men with guns are beating on your door

Somewhere in Syria there is a you
In the next few seconds – what will you do?

Lawrence Hall, HSG
[email protected]

      The United States Postal Service is Holding my Mail Hostage
                       in Exchange for my Credit Card Number

The Postal Service claims that my zip code is not my zip code
They want confirmation and three cents to redeliver
They want my credit card number for those three cents
As if anyone can trust the USPS

They can’t even get mail delivery right:
They place other people’s letters in my mailbox
And the packages I receive have often been penetrated
By busy little postal workers’ hands

And for this they want my credit card
As the old cliché says, what could possibly go wrong?

Lawrence Hall, HSG
[email protected]


                                      Asymm­etrical Peacefare


                                       The centre cannot hold

                              -W.B. Yeats, “The Second Coming”


But now there is no center to be held
Everywhere the ceremony of guilt backlights a cult
A cult of power where the powerful forgive each other
And where the powerless will never be forgiven

There is no center; only orbits in bellowing decay
Honors and offices pinned to hollow souls
A cult of power where the powerful discard each other
And where the powerless are still unforgiven

A bell, a knell, a slow-rolling toll, a shoal
Where an angel writes of us on a curious scroll

Lawrence Hall, HSG
[email protected]

                                  Show Me Who You Read

Show me who you read

You love Thoreau’s hut on Walden Pond
You fly with Wendy and Peter to Neverland
You pet Mary Oliver’s marvelous dogs
And tell Yevtushenko not to be so full of himself

Show me who you read

You stand at an angle with Cavafy
You ask Frankl how he found meaning after all
You gaze into Tolkien’s palantir
And at bedtime say good night to the moon

Show me who you read

But I already know

You read by the light of a dreaming star
And everyone loves the starlight you are

Lawrence Hall, HSG
[email protected]

                                The French Government Collapses

                                                4 December 2024

How can a government possibly collapse -
Did the National Assembly suffer a fainting spell?
Did the cabinet consume poisoned croissants
Or discover they’d been deceived by a California wine?

Perhaps a statue of Saint Joan of Arc
Newly gowned in haute couture from Wal-Mart
Lies prostrate in the Champs Elysee
Next to a made-in-China guillotine

How can a government have worked all in vain –
Did everyone in office go in Seine?

Lawrence Hall, HSG
[email protected]

                                   Old Mr. ‘Possum and the Moon

Old Mr. ‘Possum is a garbageman
Who quietly works his appointed nightly rounds
Unappreciated as he tidies this
And cleans up that, all without any fuss

The other animals don’t seem to like him much
For his wobbling, waddling walk, his untidiness
His pointy nose, his all-draggledy tail
And his awkward shape like a loaf of oaf

But when he lifts his eyes to the queen of the skies
He knows that to her he is a knight in disguise

Lawrence Hall, HSG
[email protected]

                  Another Argument Against the Death Penalty

Each one of us is a murderer
To someone else whose memory is long

Lawrence Hall, HSG
[email protected]

                            I Beg Your Pardon, Mr. President, Sir

One faction despises the Constitution
The other is all about corruption and sin
They laugh and give each other absolution
But your poor daughter caught with a little smoke –

She’s in for ten

Lawrence Hall, HSG
[email protected]

                                                  You are Offline

Neither God nor the InterGossip seems to listen:
A question posed is answered with a sneer
Or a silence as cold as this late-autumn dusk
Or a relationship well into decay

Lawrence Hall, HSG
[email protected]

      This is When You Light That First Candle Against the Darkness

Ordinary Time is now as summer’s lost leaves
Autumn has fallen into fogs and frosts
Pale sunshine flickers from shallow angles all day
Marking out the road to Bethlehem

Before the Altar in the parish church
A wreath is set with four candles to light
The first one today and a second next week
A third, a fourth, and then at last the Stable

The Stable at last, where the universe sings
The happy Desire of all our wanderings

Lawrence Hall, HSG
[email protected]

                                  The Last Day in Ordinary Time

Time is not at all ordinary, of course
It is an ordinal of flowing days
Whose current in its journey swims among
The well-marked seasons of sacred observances

Advent into and through Christmas and its promise
Lent into and through Easter and its fulfillment
Cycles of seasons, penance, and merry feasts
Each as a step in the great dance of Creation

All seasons echo God’s eternal rhyme
Blessing our senses with His created time

Lawrence Hall, HSG
[email protected]

                         Give Your Guns a Merry Little Christmas

Our number one priority is safety this is not who we are there is no active shooter situation at this time out of an abundance of caution violence is never acceptable active aggressor shockwave our thoughts and prayers will be held fully accountable we are better than this if only these teachers would monitor everyone’s social media non-life-threatening unacceptable knew each other isolated incident senseless act of violence I raised my son better than that that’s not the (name) I knew our hearts go out ongoing investigation possible links acting alone he was turning his life around mayor condemns gun violence I thought giving my son an AR would help with his emotional therapy when you go home tonight just hug your children this is a developing story

Lawrence Hall, HSG
[email protected]

                   A Parliamentary Validation of Guy Fawkes

The death-penalty ban has been reversed
But will members of Parliament want to go first?

Lawrence Hall, HSG
[email protected]

    The Most Obscene Words Ever with regard to Christmas Music


"As arranged by"

Lawrence Hall, HSG
[email protected]

          The Mostest Magicalist Familiestest Christmas Ever

She will make this the most magical family Christmas ever
With the perfect tree
The perfect gifts
The perfect table
The perfect meal
The perfect ambience
The perfect decorations

A memory worthy of inclusion in a Hallmark movie
She will make this the most magical family Christmas ever

No matter how many children she reduces to tears for it

Lawrence Hall, HSG
[email protected]

                         The Guard in Her Petite Boots

All visitors and volunteers must be escorted
My assigned minder greeted me with a smile
And didn’t wand me or search me for contraband
Perhaps it was because of my innocent face

She called me “sir” without any sarcasm
And led me through the lobby to the clanking doors
And in her little boots almost danced along
The reception area’s freshly-polished floors

Searching out the warmth-seeking crickets of autumn
And stomping every one of them

Lawrence Hall, HSG
[email protected]

                                 Algebra is not in the Bible

Jesus never said unto us, “Solve for X”
If algebra were real, the apostolic succession
Of bishops would have told us about it
(After 2,000 years of committee meetings)

I miss Bob Newhart

Lawrence Hall, HSG
[email protected]

               You are One of Civilization’s Quiet Contemplatives


                   I send Love’s name into the world with wings

                                 -Thomas Merton, “A Psalm”


Into your pocket you slip a volume of verse
To feel and smell and breathe the words of others
And paper and pen are ready to your hand
To limn an errant dream as it whispers by

You take a roadside turning known only to you
Recusing yourself from busy-ness for awhile
To sigh upon a grassy bank and simply be
And rescue civilization from itself

With words you embrace the entirety of life
(But don’t forget your British Army Knife)

Lawrence Hall, HSG
[email protected]

                                 Still Listening to the Warm

Rod McKuen was the coolest of the cool
And now he’s not
Which makes him warmer than ever
On the pencil-marked pages of our youth

"Listen to the Warm" is still good advice

Lawrence Hall, HSG
[email protected]

                               Lemons and the Divine Ekonomia

My neighbor has a lemon tree
He gives me lemons
And I too have a lemon tree
I give him lemons

This is not economy
This is Ekonomia

It is divine

Lawrence Hall, HSG
[email protected]

                                   Politics and the Public Square

Oh, yes, we know about the public square -
That’s where the Enlightenment works the guillotine
That’s where sensitive progressives ****** Jews
And constitutionalists ******* the Constitution

Oh, yes, we know about the public square -
That’s where those who kiss dictators deny the King
That’s where individualists join in mobs
And the last few children are hunted down and killed

Oh, yes, we know about the public square –
Where the screams of the dying poison the air

Lawrence Hall, HSG
[email protected]

                  A Treatise on the Burrowing Habits of Dachshunds


                                                   in memory of

                                     Astrid-the-Wonder-Dachshund

                six pounds of barking, yapping, demanding, and love


A dachshund will burrow under the garden fence
For every dachshund thinks she is a wolf
A fearsome apex predator with a squeaky toy -
This is in the nature of dachshunds

A dachshund will burrow into your tightly-closed hand
Nosing out the doggie treat you have hidden there
A fearsome apex predator and omnivore -
This is in the nature of dachshunds

A dachshund will burrow into your end-of-day lap
Watching both the television and the cats
A fearsome apex predator drooling on your book -
This is in the nature of dachshunds

A dachshund will burrow, borrow, beg, and bark
And in her foreshadowing of that better World to come
A dachshund will burrow deeply into your heart -
And love you forever

This is in the nature of dachshunds

And of you

Lawrence Hall, HSG
[email protected]

                         I’m Gonna Tell Santa Claus on You!

                                            Nora and Theo

The children scamper across my grassy lawn
And bring me wiggly worms to identify
Big acorns to admire, lemons fallen weeks before
Sticks and leaves, pinecones, flowers, and bits of bark

They lose their shoes and socks beneath the oak
They drink from the water hose and don’t turn it off
They chase the dog and the dog chases them
They shriek out joyfully because they can

I growl that if I mow another bit of brick
I’m gonna tell ol’ Santa Claus on them

They laugh at me, and bring me another worm

Lawrence Hall, HSG
[email protected]

                        The Gates of Kiev are Now Smoke-Poisoned Skies

The Gates of Kiev are now only the skies
Drone-battered-bombed by the Siloviki
Against the peace of churches and sunflower fields
Workers and scholars and pastoral scenes

The Gates of Kiev once opened to all the world
Musicians, artists, builders, priests, and poets
Departed as missionaries to every land
Civilization from the Kievan Rus’

But now

The Gates of Kiev are smoke-poisoned skies
Through which foul Satan falls upon Slavic lands

Lawrence Hall, HSG
[email protected]

            Dump ‘Em into the Mixmaster and Stir-Whir-into-a Blur

Americans
iconic
cannot
icon
write
bombshell
without
axe to grind
employing
the knives are out
tiresome
gunning for
old
fwiw
metaphors
business-as-usual


Battleground states
Eye-watering
scores to settle
Cringe
Bloodthirsty
Guru
Meltdown
Woke
Wardrobe malfunction
Green light
Eviscerate
Breaks cover
Breaks silence
Jaw-dropping
Took __ by storm

Dump ‘em into the magical metaphorical Mixmaster® and stir, stir, whirrrrr…

Lawrence Hall, HSG
[email protected]

                                            ­  Schrodinger’s Turtle

                    Don’t let a quantum mechanic work on your car

A cat on a fence post probably got there himself
And may be observed to be alive or dead
A turtle in a box is not on a shelf
“And I don’t know why,” the scientist said

“Meow,” the poor little cat cried out in dread



Please know that I am on the ViaSat / Verizon / Directv / Netgear axis of frequent lack of service. I never ignore correspondence, but in the mornings my InterGossip works very slowly at best and in the evenings even more slowly and increasingly not at all. Responding to you may take some time.

Lawrence Hall, HSG
[email protected]


                 Writing with Love Under the Coming Regime


         We are not permitted to choose the frame of our destiny
          but what we put into it is ours.

                         -Dag Hammarskjold, Markings


They hate you; they cannot do other than hate
They have gulped from Macbeth’s poisoned cup
With raucous laughter argued over lists of enemies
Carving out the names with ****** knives

But you from Love have chosen freely to love
You have taken communion from the Pierian Spring
And studied beauty and truth upon Helicon
You praise every name with sacred words

They hate you; they cannot do other than hate
But you from Love have chosen freely to love


NOT feeling the love in this matter: Please know that I am on the ViaSat / Verizon / Directv / Netgear axis of frequent lack of service. I never ignore correspondence, but in the mornings my InterGossip works very slowly at best and in the evenings even more slowly and increasingly not at all. Responding to you may take some time.

Lawrence Hall, HSG
[email protected]

                       When She Sold Her Old Ford Mustang

Y’all need some more coffee? I got some fresh

That car was my dream; had it since I was twenty
When I got married it was our honeymoon ride
When I got divorced it was all I had
After me and my baby got away from the beatings

Your breakfast okay? We got a new cook

We sometimes had to live in it, y’know?
So like I had to tell my son I’m selling it
I promised it to him for his graduation
That car was our life. But it ain’t safe

Did I tell you we got a new cook? He’s pretty good

I’m been waitin’ tables in this old café for years
Watchin’ the world go by on th’ highway