Lawrence Hall
[email protected]
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                          An Eleventh Commandment Falls Upon Us
                            From the Government Religion in Austin


           “Schools not enjoined by ongoing litigation must abide by  
            S.B. 10 and display the Ten Commandments.”

                           -Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton
                                           25 August 2025


          “It denies us the right of worshipping the Almighty according
           to the dictates of our own conscience, by the support of a
           national religion…”

                              -Texas Declaration of Independence
                                               2 March 1836


Our attorney general elects himself God
And imposes upon us his government church  
To rule us, perhaps, by a religion squad
Subjecting us all to seizure and search

For under his high-tech inquisition
One’s conscience must obey his moods and rages
This Torquemada on his punitive mission
He’ll ponder our punishment – maybe the cages?

Our attorney general elects himself God
And Texans famous for freedom submit to his rod

Lawrence Hall
[email protected]
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                                    Ode on a Monitor Lizard

I saw a picture of a monitor lizard
Its skin is scaley and its tongue is scissored
I’d back away from that wrinkly old wizard -
I don’t want to be ground up in its gizzard!

Lawrence Hall
[email protected]
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                                  “I Pray You, Remember the Porter”

                                               -Macbeth II.ii.20-21

When I was a young husband and father
I served: on the parish council, taught CCD
Chaperoned bake sales, CYO, and youth trips
Eucharistic minister, lector, and greeter
(No one else could hand out a leaflet with such grace, such  
        elegance, such panache!)

But with age, and one by one, I let them go
This morning I asked to be recused at last
From thirty years on the lector duty list
“God’s benison go with you…”

As lector
I lost confidence in sorting out the new ways of doing things
Of being where I’m supposed to be
And moving when I’m supposed to do so
And moving where I’m supposed to do so
Carrying the lectionary without dropping it
Mounting the Altar steps without tripping
Standing in one place for more than a few minutes
Seeing the words clearly (why is the print so small?)
Wreathing the werbs without thripping over my thongue

But I’m still a greeter – I can open the door
‘Tis my appointed skill level, but ‘tis one
As Macduff did not say
No leaflets, though; that stuff’s now on the InterGossip

I smile and open the door, admire babies, help with coats
Show visitors the way to the euphemism
Tell the kids how tall they’ve grown
(You’re a senior!? Why, I remember when…)

And it’s okay.

I am blessed with honor, love, and troops of friends
(as Macbeth could not say)

Honor, love, and troops of friends

All good.

Deo gratias

Lawrence Hall
[email protected]
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                                         When Alliteration Goes Bad

Peter
Piper
Picked a
Peck of
Pickled
Hamsters

Lawrence Hall
[email protected]
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

          An Exercise in Alliteration Cut Short by the August Heat

Even summer seems weary with summer:
Withering weeds wish woefully for winter
High heat hangs heavily upon the heath
While garden groundlings gasp across the grass!

Lawrence Hall
[email protected]
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                                                 Go Ask Your Father

“Go ask your father.”

“Go ask your mother.”

“She said to ask you.”

“Go ask her anyway.”

“Go ask your father again.”

“He said to ask you.”

“Well, I told you to ask him.”

“It’s your mother’s decision.”

“He says it’s your decision.”

“It’s okay with me if it’s okay with your father.”

“It’s okay with me if it’s okay with your mother.”


That was always soooooooooooooooo annoying.


I wish I could be that annoyed again.

Lawrence Hall
[email protected]
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                               Making Peace with Apple ICloud

(Off. Click)