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I look around
And see an Army of Contenders
Wearing their Wired Crowns
Each One the Next Pretender

I  shed each  Coat, Each Cape, Each  Robe
Spiraling Dissonance
Freed from this probe

My Departure is my own now
No Friends here I did make
But Lost to greed the Ones I need

With Gratitude I Depart.
 Jul 2016 Lauren Ehrler
cgembry
I have never stuttered in pen
misspoken in ink
or choked in my writing
the way I do
whenever I speak
my fingertips always know
the right words to say
my tongue is still learning
mad
i'm mad at myself
for not changing to who i should be.

i'm mad at myself
for trusting people
whenever they say "trust me".

i'm mad at myself
for bleeding
when people stab my back
with their deceiving knives.

i'm mad at myself
for hiding my feelings
for pushing people away
when i needed them the most.

i'm mad at myself
for not being me
i changed a lot
i don't even know what's real.

i'm mad at myself
for being heartless
i used to be so sensitive
but i just cannot feel any less.
i know i'm not the only one, but this hurts.
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