has it ever rained blue so long you started to get used to it?

i've gotten caught in a blue flood and right then and there i had to learn to swim.
on my own.
i pulled my self to shore.

has it ever sun shined yellow and you didn't know how to think or act because you've been stuck in the blue rain for years?

i think thats when it becomes frighting,
when you feel more comfertable in the pouring rain
than do you in the yellow sunshine.

maybe thats when it floods black tar,
******* you deeper in the sadness,

but, it is not sadness, it's almost a sad numbness

and tar slowly takes over my body leaving a black thick layer over top of my porcelain exteroir.

it slowly takes over my whole body,

it's slowly getting worse.

it hurts.

how adults deal with their problems?

do they cry in their beds so their children wont hear?
do they drink away their problems every night?

do you pay for alcohol with your maxed out credit card?
do you work and work until your mind wanders to stress instead of sadness?

do you drink tea in your bathtub with the temperature just under boil?
do you put on a fake smile everyday?

do you ignore your problems or do you run away from them?




how do i handle my mind in 10 years when i'm an adult?

she was an angel
with a grin of utter gold
and voice honey sweet

s.s

when you're already dead inside,
there is nothing left to live for.