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As I pass through Art Museums
I see a ton of art that’s titled
‘Untitled’
and as I look at the art I make the realization as to why it’s
‘Untitled’
because I, like the artist, can’t decide what it resembles
so I decided that if I write a poem entitled
‘Untitled’
then it’d be counted as art
close enough?
I thought so.
But I like
‘Untitled’
artwork, it provides room for creativity
like this poem could be about Dragons
if you really imagine it
and if you replace all the times I say
‘Untitled’
with
‘Dragon’
then, boom, you have a nice medieval tale
with knights, dragons, the whole shebang
yes?
no?
oh well, it’s your imagination not mine
but if I were you
I’d make it about dragons
why?
cause.
You don’t know fear until you’ve walked to the bathroom late at night
the floorboards creek as you
step
step
step
every open door becomes an abyss
leading to the depths of hell
you refuse to make eye contact with any mirror
for you fear that you’ll see something you don’t want to
and you keep your eyes on the prize
but
the path seems to grow longer
the bathroom seems to become farther away
so you start picking up speed
because you feel breath on the back of your neck
and it tingles
you have no idea what it could be so you go into a regular jog
the bathroom still seems to be a mile away
and all of a sudden you start hearing things
voices? noises?
you’re sure it’s just your mind playing tricks on you
but they begin to get closer
and soon they show up on your list of
‘things I should be running from’
right below ‘drugs’ and ‘ex girlfriends’
but that’s a different poem,
anyways,
you’re running now
the finish line is in sight
you burst through the door, quietly
and feel a since of pride
‘I did it!’ you say to yourself
‘I did it! I did it!’
then you do what you originally came to do in the first place
I don’t feel it’s necessary to elaborate on that
then you say your prayers quietly in the bathroom
and begin your journey back

-Slang
She's nice;
Lets take advantage of her.

She's nice;
She won't mind if we talk about her.

She's nice;
It's okay if we spread rumours about her.

She's nice;
Lets walk all over her.

She's nice;
She would never get mad at anyone.

YES! She may be nice but that does NOT give you the right to treat her like crap. She is a human being, she has feelings too that sometimes get hurt when people don't take her seriously. So next time you think you're not bothering someone because you don't think they mind...think again!
It's ok if you don't "like" my poems


Once upon a time
I wrote a poem.

893 people read it.
Only one person liked it.

Makes me laugh.

Makes me like it even more,
Knowing that two people
Liked it,
Me, and someone named
Pure Love.

Now, that's very,
very cool.

Convinced, I.am,
That the secret to this poetry racket,
Is to never ever stop,
      laughing at yourself
Dedicated with much love and affection to Pure Love and her excellent taste in poetry.

And to those very special few who acquired a taste of me:
My poetry is an acquired taste,
So come, dear one,
Place your tongue in my mouth.
Pace yourself, there is so much,
Spoke and unwritten,
That fruitions only when spit-shared.

Flick your tongue-tip to mine,
Sealing bond, the salt caramel of my rhymes,
The iambic meter of my tamarind prose,
The buds, flowering, poems forming,
Watered by the admixture of joint, minted saliva.

My poetry, so very complicated,
Hints of currants and ash,
Soil volcanic, basaltic vowels, oh's and eyes,
Cursed verses that commence with I,
Nonetheless, despite soil inhospitable rued,
Compositions flourish, born wetland soluble.

Yours, for the taking,
Yours, for the tasting.

You place your fingers on my waist,
My body of work to contemplate,
My ditties, you spit out,
You want courses, not appetizers,
You want truths, not fluff, lies, menu tastings.

Columbus and Magellan, thy fingers named,
Trace the curvature of my ***,
With tip and tipsy stroked caresses,
You laugh with the pleasure of all the sssssss's.
Hissing all the day your satisfaction,
Capturing my writs, by your tongue's duress,
Recipient-thief of my literary largesse.

I am dressed all in white,
Stripped bare to my native coloring,
Except for two brown nippled spots, you lick,
Imbibing milky thoughts  from fountain-heads *****,
Savoring, relishing, stanzas that praise love's flavor.

With every line, every word-painting accessioned,
You make my soft parts hard,
My hard parts soft, but my liquidity,
My tears, they, that, you drink straight,
Licking, liking, and oohing and ahhing,
You tongue curled, upside down arching,
The storage point of your seduced gatherings.

To drain me full, your incisors cut,
Straight lines, entry points for your *******,
Taking, draining, leaving nothing,
Not even one aleph or bet escaping.

When you acquired my poetry, my verbosity,
Pillaging soul's hiding place, took and *****,
Your acquired the best, breaking my nape,
Imprisoned on and by my island's seascape,
Blanched and pained, a blank tape,
I am tasteless, witless, mockingly, tongue-tied.
I lie with you,
But do not lie to you.

I lay with you,
But do not lay you.

I love you.

Should ere death's day dawn come,
When we lie imperfectly alone,
I lay this poem beside you
That our love once and always perfect be,
Even if the body that lies
beside you is no longer me.
Hoping you will never read this till long after I, this world, before you, part.
Dear Pres. Obama,


Need a favor!

My business is falling apart.
Pretty sure, I'm going to get fired.

Can I borrow your
"I blame the Republicans for everything" speech?
Don't worry, I took a poll first.
Your approval ratings won't be hurt, cause they can't go any lower.

Yours truly,
A registered Democrat.
Can we get a leader whatever party, to accept responsibility.
In God We Trust, For He Invented Reasonable Doubt




In Courtroom of the State of New York, Part 62,
where the only decoration extant,
in gold leaf letters,
a magnificent joke,
In God We Trust.

Words so incongruous
to the real time drama,
a poorly acted Law and Order episode
of which I partake,
(as Juror No. 1,
ergo you may address me as
Mr. Jury Foreman),
they stun me into stupefaction
every time we enter and the
Bailiff pronounces with much gravitas,
"Jury Entering"

A potpourri of a dozen Manhattanites,
with wisdom acquired
by the singular virtue of
having attained the robust age of 18,  
noteworthy for being free of
criminal record,
having been nominated
to sit upon the jury that will decide
the fate of one Eric B.,
for what he may have done upon West 11th Street
one Summer night in
June Two Thousand and Eleven,

If adjudged guilty,
New York State can take,
incarcerate him for up to
15 years of his life

Predicate felon by the age of twenty seven,
Eric's resume consists of
four felonies,
two misdemeanors
a wife and two little children,
and a partridge in a pear tree.

Facts turgid and muddy,
Eric tells a story
one juror calls a confection of lies,
no one murmurs
much disagreement in the
tiny, overheated room
we have been sequestered to
replay
the 2012 version of
Twelve Angry Men.

But I am not his peer,
nor am I a seer,
common sense says
if appearances are what they seem to be,
he aided and abetted
in the forcible taking of
a nice Connecticut lady's cell phone
with his brother who just happened to be
released from prison earlier that day

A convoluted tale
ripe with inanities is told,
upshot is our defendant's tale,
his robust defense,
portrays him as the unluckiest man
in the whole world,
a good Samaritan,
{chasing after the thief,
** **, his bro}

against whom events have conspired

In Manhattan can be a harsh place,
where the natives
a tough lot,
tougher than the Indians from whom
they stole it all.

Our bridges we sell to out-of-towers,
all it takes is one to say,
what the heck,
reasonable doubt is
a ***** to overcome
so let him go


Jan, 2012
To expel intestinal gases through the ****.
The definition makes it sound kinda heinous.
Whether you pass wind or pass gas,
either way it comes out your ***.
Farts are loud and some silent but deadly,
you can make it sound like a medley.
Farts are cool and sometimes funny,
lookout for ones that become runny.
Some like to **** in your face,
it may cause pink eye,
and sting like mace.
Farts can smell and usually bad,
must be a duck, says your dad.
I have farts that never stink,
although some were on the brink.
Dog farts will make you take cover,
the smell lingers and starts to hover.
Woman never ****,
but watch out when they do,
it can be brutal,
once their comfortable with you.
If in certain places you must hold it in,
farting in church is considered a sin.
A good **** can make you feel good,
its part of life and fully understood.
Every **** deserves a smile or a giggle,
don't forget to give your *** a shake or a wiggle.
For ones who think farting is disgusting,
I bet your ******* needs a good dusting.
 Sep 2013 Laura Stridiron
mûre
Don't call it falling.
Falling implies you can get up.
My infatuation lies along the fault lines
tucked beneath the first
bumps of turbulence.

Don't say swooning,
not any ocean's salt could
revive me.

It's a tachycardia- a frenetic, feverish ardor
that keeps us
p a c i n g....
.... p a c i n g
p a c i n g....

                          

                    A mania.



Yes, that's it- I'm manic in love with you.
Ill with adoration for you.
Anxious over you.
Possessed by you.
Elated, then devastated by you.

Prescribe me nothing.
Let this ravage me until bones are soil
and one day this up-for-grabs heart is
donated to someone who
thinks their life has been saved but
can't quite put their finger on
that immortal ache written within each valve.

But do not call it falling.
Falling implies you can get up.
 Sep 2013 Laura Stridiron
mûre
Call me the Queen of Hypothesis
I thought it was a good idea

leaving this.

I want to take a razor to the hair I grew
(long enough to enchant you)
but I won't.
I want to spend all I've got
on nothing at all.
A painted, empty fool who is poverty stricken in riches-
filet mignon, a flight to Spain, fancy finery-
but I won't.

Instead I'll cry in the kitchen.
Cry in the bedroom.
Cry at flowers.
Cry at nothing.

But I won't cut off my hair.

I want to give up.
I want to run away.
Leave town, leave society, leave myself.
But I won't.

Instead I'll hurt.
Hurt in the day.
Hurt in the night.

But I won't give up.

This mouth, it does me wrong.
This mouth says goodbye,
when it only wants to be
on your fingertips
on your neck
on your back
anywhere

just not saying goodbye.

These eyes, they do me wrong.
These eyes have seen the truth of things,
when they only want to
watch you laugh
watch you dress in the morning
watch your body moving on mine-
Just watch you.
And blind themselves against the path we have chosen.

I want to take it back.

But...

I won't.

Instead I'll love you.
And love you.
And love you,
love you,

                           I love you

until I can love me
just as much.

So call us the King and Queen of Hypothesis, darling.
Look at our glass crowns,
how clearly you can see my heart inside,

saving for something more precious

than all the kingdom's gold.
I've always loved you. I always will.
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