Can you see emptiness?
Not of a glass or an abyss
Emptiness inside a soul
The echoing through something once whole
I just need to know,
Should I hide these holes?
Should I disguise these bruises?
Cover up these scars?
Should we suppress our pain,
To hide who we really are?
I'm 17 years old
And I hurt
And I bleed
Most days I feel lower than dirt
And some days I can't breathe
Who are you to judge me for it?
I just want to know,
Can you see it or do I have to tell you so?
I want to die.
I want to be alone.
But did you already know?

To anyone who's listening,

If four months ago I was warned about the heartache to come,
I wouldn't have been able to resist.
I can't apologize enough for my lack of self-control.
You are in a hole, because I feel the need to dig when given a shovel.

He was kissing my lips,
tugged my pants off my hips.
My eyes couldn't stop wandering towards the glow of the clock.
I was keeping track of time,
because I knew in 3 hours we will be at the beach together.
I focused on feet engulfed in sand.

"Who do you belong to?"
                          "you"

That's partially true. My body is yours in this moment, but my heart
is three hours ahead of you plucking sea shells from the beach with somebody else.

"its your fault that everything dies;
its because you don't love it enough."*
                                                                               so it was my fault
                                                                     that you killed yourself
                                                                   i mustn't have loved you
                                                                                                  enough
                                                                                           i'm so sorry
come back to me
and i'll love you
with even more
than my existence
i'll love you more
than anyone could
just come back to
me, i miss you
everything hurts
i'm sorry
it's my fault
i'm sorry
come back
please
i love you