You probably don’t think
about me anymore
(as spring about winter
and winter about fall)
But tell me
in the deepest of nights
do you ever wake up
feeling the calling
far from your sight
(and sight of any man
life or even meaning)
do you ever start crying
because the tears from
miles and miles don’t
let you free yourself
from burning (in the
same time dreams
of you were cut
from my heart—
—the reality so painful
and shiningly suicidal)
but don’t worry please
for
the stars and the trees
and the world is
the beginning for you
(for me the end)

It's 2pm and it's pouring outside.
Mother Nature is singing of sorrow.
I am numb, for the most part.
Until that ache in my chest begins.
I've never felt anything like this before.
I can feel my heart being ripped in two.
After so many years we merged together.
So nicely you couldn't even see a seam.
Now we're parting ways and trying to find ourselves.
Trying to distinguish what part goes where and with who.
Trying to leave it how we found it.
Trying to figure out which parts are me and which parts are you.
And I guess I should feel free.
I should feel a weight being lifted.
I should be something...
But I am not.
I am invisible.
Hiding in the shadows.
Watching my life like a television screen.
Covering my eyes at the gory parts.
You won't see me anymore.
That piece is dead.
I'm sad to say, as much as I don't want it to be...this is the end.
And I'll write you one last goodbye one hundred times over.
I'll say I'm really letting go.
That it's easy.
That I'm fine.
But deep down I know I'm not.
if I thought I could keep you and be happy I would...
I did.
Many times.
But at some point you have to accept what is.
And it's not what it was anymore.
We're at our crossroad.
You in one vehicle and myself in the other.
I'm looking at you in the rear view mirror...
And I'm driving to a home I don't know.

You begged for my heart
So I gave it to share
But you snatched it away
And left me bare

I asked for it back
Or else I would die
But you didn’t care
You just said goodbye
BOEMS BY JA 505