the spring comes and the winter leaves
now i'm missing the fun i had with splinters and leaves
crazy how life goes so fast when you don't notice
and everything just slows down when you blow it
i know it's natural, it's okay to mess up
but i gotta fess up, i'll never make it to the best of
the greatest hits won't include me
no one will ever introduce me
you won't ever know the new me
because the version you see will die eventually
buried in a forest of words, six feet under
buried alive until another summer
never stopped to wonder where people go
never stopped to think if people know
if people grow, if people change
otherwise everything just looks the same
it's all so plain to me, somebody explain to me
how you can stay sane doing the mundane
it's all routine, we're all just moving
on and on, moving along, until our next favorite song

i'm just the same as all of you
yet i can't see from your point of view
been awhile since i felt the ground
been awhile since i heard a sound
a grumbling, a noise, somebody's voice
something to pull me out of the void
awake and asleep, awake and asleep
sometimes it's shallow, sometimes it's deep
waking up's the worst part
the same as a restart
heaven or hell, heaven or hell
just ask my brain cells
need another hit, i'm addicted
i need to feel lifted
to really feel like i'm living
like a human being

or at least halfway there
it's the truth laid bare
whatever, i don't care
i was always taught to share
but some things i should keep to myself
wrote this out to read to myself
love letters to myself cause i got nobody else
there's no one left, no more steps
guess no one's right, you're all out of your depth
i can't get you so why would you try
it's only right i'm hung out to dry
i'm just venting, i'm just lamenting
so my thoughts might be offending
but let it be known these words i'm sending
can always be worse, you heard it from me first
maybe this will help me find some purpose
stop feeling useless and be a little selfish
hopefully i can stop acting so helpless

walking slowly down my memory lane
funny how these streets stay the same
yet they feel completely different
like there's a little thing missing
something's off, i can't tell but i know
somewhere there's a huge gaping hole
inside my soul? i suppose
cut off too many things just to be safe
now i don't know where's my own place
a place to call home, contacts on my phone
all those things would make me feel less alone
or maybe not, just a thought
am i really happy with what i got
i can't tell what they are
a new house, a car
they won't get me very far
if i'm stuck in my own head
and i can't get out of bed
like a record on loop
i'm standing still but still i move
i'm ahead but i can't improve
i know i need something. i know it's true
and maybe that something could be you

i was lying on the grass, high off my ***
thinking bout the past, if this life will last
and all that jazz, wondering if i'm going too fast
still trying to figure it out, what my life's all about
the quarter life crisis, i might not be at my nicest
all my friends drive a hybrid but their lives looking vapid
i'm not one to talk, i'm jack with no beanstalk
no golden goose to lay me some eggs
while everyone else says break a leg
i never broke any eggs so i can't make an omelette
but i'm on it i promise. then i ran out of the office
can't deal with expectations, cause i'm still hesitating
so afraid of failure that i keep on failing
it's a ******* paradox. now where did i put my pair of socks?

i don't like you
and you don't like me
it's never eye to eye
what you and i see
i can't talk nice
i never think twice
go on and on
bout how i'm wrong
if that's how you feel like
i think i did all i could
but it's clear you never would
admit that you hate it
why do you tolerate it
just don't act so cold
both you and i know
that it's inevitable
and downright impossible

you can't please everyone
maybe you don't need anyone
when you can't tell who to trust
if it'll all end up a bust
there's a limit to everything
right now i can't feel a thing
i can't tell you how to live
so i won't mind if you leave

i don't need you
and you don't need me
we can go our own ways
but you would never say
that to my face
i wonder what it would take
to give myself a break
can't tell if i'm satisfied
when i'm looking through someone's eyes
overthinking every decision
always believing i'm the reason
everything goes wrong
i should just move on
i should try to focus
on what's really important
if i can get pass the worst bit
i'll feel like i'm worth it

you can't please everyone
but even if it's only one
then maybe that's enough
i don't need too much
always needed one thing
something to believe in
now it's easier to breathe
i'm just gone like the leaves

i'm not gonna lie
used to think i'd die
always knew how it'd end
pushed away every friend
now i'm making ones that count
ones i wouldn't live without
made it with their help
and one of them's myself

you can't please everyone
but even if it's only one
then maybe that's enough
i don't need too much
always needed one thing
something to believe in
now it's easier to breathe
i'm just gone like the leaves

I feel like I've already peaked
And I still haven't found that fire I seek
Something that inspires and takes me higher
If I could see myself now, I'd call me a liar
I don't understand, am I not doing what I can
Is there more and is it just out of my hands
I'm clueless and useless
I feel like I always knew this
I'm not new to it, the disappointment
Too annoyed to feel resentment
At the end of the day, it's just me and the voice in my head
And it'll always say that I'm better off dead

I can't look
Don't force me to see
An open book
But I don't wanna be free

I'm holding myself back
By being hung up on my past
All my regrets are making me forget
About all the people I wouldn't have met
The things I wouldn't have seen
The person I wouldn't have been
I would never be the same
Without that bittersweet pain
It makes me crazy, it keeps me sane
It comes back every time I ride the train
It always rains before the rainbow, I'm sure
But is it a good enough cure
It's not a disability just my mentality
Every time I try I'm reminded by gravity
That I can't be the best version of me
If I can't let the old one go and be free

I want to look
I want to see
I've opened the book
Now I wanna be free

Round and round, and back again
Living a dream that never ends
Waking up, shaping up
"Try your best" is not enough
The writings on the wall echo through the halls
I can't move forward without looking back
And sometimes I lose track, and forget how to act
Forget how to speak, forget how to write
So many things I just can't do right
All it takes is just some rhymes
But I can't keep half-assing every time
My own worst critic, my inputs are cryptic
But I just can't quit, I'm actually addicted
Took some time off to gather my thoughts
Watching raindrops, hoping that time'd stop
My dream state is where I cremate
All my failed ideas, left from all the years
I wanna write something new
But I just don't know what to do
One of these days I'll say "never again"
And all of this will come to an end