i know he doesnt love me
he never did
but when he held me
and spoke softly
like we were the only ones in the room
i felt special i felt included
like nothing would tare us apart
but you couldnt love me
i will never be enough
because what you want isnt love
its control

It's that I miss the abuse
Because I don't
But it's days like these
Dark and stormy
When the thunder rolls
And lightning flashes on the sky
Just like the day it all began
Like the small details I will always remember
That I miss the comfort
Of knowing what to expect
Because now that I'm out of it
I can't find order
Or stick to a schedule
It's like my body longs For the abuse
Because at least I knew what came next

you only need my light
when im running low
only say to smile
when my tears flow
only want my love
when it fit your schedule
only miss my dress
when you pull it off
you love me on your terms
not on what i need

i am strong
i can not be broken
i can be hit
by your cruel words
and i can stand
i can take anything
i can fight through anything

don't dive in
the waters are to deep
and you might drown
for i look like a puddle
but when you jump in
you realize that you are being
****** to the depths
of the darkest ocean
in our universe

her eyes held stars
her heart held so much love
she was young in sul
old in age
but you broke her
shattering her little heart
like she never meant anything
she probably didn't
but to me
she meant everything

It's days like this
When the sky is Grey
And the droplets never cease
Falling from the darkest clouds
That I get caught in my head
Realizing what I'm really missing
I miss the comfort of being sad
Because at least then
I knew what to expect
Even if it hurt
At least I could control the outcome
But I keep reminding  myself
Not to slip down that *****
Because then I would be gone entirely