"If anyone botheres you
I've got your back"
You said

So I guess you'll have
To reevaluate your statment

Because your phrase
Echoes in my head
Bugging me each
And every one
Of my days

How you told me
To stop being myself
Because I was a little weird

And now my fears came true
I got to know that everyone else
Thought that too
Because how could a father
Tell his daughter
To stop being who she is

So my smile slowly faded
You saw it less and less
Each time
And my playfulness halted
And turned into series of complaints

I hear it all the time
In your voice
you are disappointed
You are slowly shriveling me up
Weighing me down

I am sorry
I am not enough.

Empty girl. I can fill you up. Oh, would you look at that
How about another one?
Live it up right now while you're still young.
This ain't so bad is it?
I told you it was fun.

Simple girl. I can stir it up.
Complicate you so completely you'll swear you've had enough.
But I've got you started,
Now it will never stop.

Your passion is piling
Building up in your gut
You ask for release
I can give you what you want.

Live it up while you're young
Isn't this fun?
You say I broke your heart
You're not the only one.

You scream and you writhe
You sing out in hate
Can't say I didn't warn you
I told you this would be great

Lonely girl. I showed you my world
Not very pretty is it
But at least it feels real
Take what you've learned and do what you will
Mend all the birds that I nearly ****
And I'll cheat, and I'll lie, and I'll break, and I'll steal
Scan every room with hungry eyes until I find my next meal
And you'll always remember
I know that you will
When that heart of yours beats for me
You'll tell it to be still.

That one night
Was a disaster
It rained bullets
I heard many screams

Shattered glass on the floor
Ashes on the ground
Smokes, still swirling
Ammunations scattered everywhere

I will never forget
How horrifying the sight was
How traumatizing the memory is
It was an inevitable event

I saw everything
Collide in front of me
Like showers of black sparks
I watch them, standing still

Bodies falling, lifeless
Bullets firing, soundless
Men killing, merciless
But I am standing here, watching, fearless

hold your tongue, i said
i'm tired of these bleeding words
and i passed you the gauze
slipping my fingers through the maze of your palm
and out through the cracks
hold your tongue, i said
i want to feel these words instead
pretend i am paper
and bend me, press your lips
to me and whisper the letters
and i will fold myself over them
hold your tongue, i said
i love the noise but i love the silence more
just the sound of me
drinking in those phrases, swallowing
air as i try for more
hold your tongue, i said
hold my waist, catch the words
as they drip down from my forehead
sweating ink onto my shoulders
use the silence to soak up the meaning
of each and every one
hold your tongue, i said
and the words will come, riding
upon waves and i will swim
with you to dry land
give me your hand, and i will guide your pen
down along my spine, across
the sand dunes of my shoulders, through
the space between my collarbones
let the ink bleed into my hairline
let the words sink into my skin
as i let you mark me up, graffiti
in the best sense of the word, badass
but secretly
hold your tongue, i said
and take my hand
pretend i am paper
unfold me

a jewel of a lake, hanging
from a rough gold chain of stars
summer air and midnight sounds
quiet water, echoing
loud beneath the old wood
bare feet touching sand, pockets
filled with pebbles
i sat down
eyes closed
and i felt my heartbeat

i opened my eyes to grey
to rain, to fog, to half past autumn
soggy leaves on the cracked cement
and the lake and stars only a lament
playing in my ears, fondly
saying goodbye
and i thought i would be still
i thought i would be calm
empty, sitting here
among dead trees
but i looked to my right
a familiar face
and i felt my heartbeat
missing summer less and less
each day

playing cards, flinging numbers on the table
conversations leading nowhere
and i sit on the outside, watching us
and analyzing the game
i see your head tilt, i see your mouth crack
wide open and speak
and i see the words, read their shape
and watch the colours fade in the air
to match the grey of today
and i wish that i could reach out
and touch them, try to brush
the colour back into your voice
but instead
no matter how hard i try
the words are stale, the cards are bent
by the time they reach my ears
and land lightly upon the inside curve, soft and dark
still nice, still present
and i guess i don’t mind the lack of colour
besides, i know that if i really wanted to
i could move closer and catch the words
catch your voice
as it leaves your lips
and intercept it before it can fade
taste the colours instead
and it’s nice to know i have that option
so i stand here and watch this interaction
watch the card game, hearts and spades
and analyze each move
black and red and white
and colourful
just waiting for the game to end