We sip our coffee and cream
  and drink our whiskey and beer
Then listen to wolves
   dressed as doctors
     with deaf ears
       and big empty eyes
        and blood stained teeth
Who tell us to dull the pain with pills
  and drown emotions
   in prescription prayers
    refillable
     at the small cost of our souls
And we sit in front of flat screens
  and smart phones and insta-gratification
    and press the illusion of our face
      between pages of a metaphor
        disguised as a book
And the imagined life is better
  than what is really going on
   so we script our day to day lives
     and step into the ring
       and wrestle like big men
         pretending its not just
           another form of ballet
We've doubled down on dumbing down
  and we're losing more than we're gaining
    but we keep spinning the wheel
      and the barrel
        and pulling the trigger
          playing the game
            of suicide
          and Russian Roulette
There is two bullets for every name
  and a bomb of every size
   waiting for its time to go BOOM
     and war is just a business
        for the rich
      payed for by the innocent
       and the ignorant
Death is big money
  and blood is cheap
    pump up the world population
      and the rise of inflation
        keep education at a minimum
          as well as a wage
Keep the poor hunger
  and give them an illusion to hate
    divide and separate
     fear is the season of reason
      needed to segregate and dissipate
       any sympathy or empathy
        or kindness or love
We live in a nation of sheep
  being lead by a pig
   and it sounds like fiction
    but it's horrifyingly real
     and he tweets and he oinks
      and he huffs and he puffs
       and he is just a sad little man
        having a bad hair day
         day after day
The world is watching
  and laughing
    a nervous laugh
Maybe it's nothing to worry about
  maybe I'm just late for my pill
   and my beer and my whiskey
    and maybe I just need a little
      cyanide and cream
       to lighten the mood
        of the black coffee news

In days like these speech flows like air bubbles
Of a silent fish that rests on marble countertop
Awayting certainty that comes with end
Not forest of unanswerable perspectives
That cut deeper than veins with judgement

And just like that all history becomes
Newspaper never published but
Its absence more tangible than real
Crumpled folds of fear held the
Sullen guts and useless bladder

Alone in cosmic vastness making circles
Around the sun not chosen
Attracted to the core unfelt
Gazing at the stars terrifying with the
Insignificance of recurrent aliveness
As they kiss each other
Every now and then

And movement was soaked in pointlessness
Chocking on inspiration escaping with
Perspiration and regrets of not being born
As a flying thing that poked its face
Under the surface and always escaped
The mandane shallowness of the salty realm

Last few gulps of insignificance that she never traded
For a set of scales that went with a shade of water
Or ones that fellows followed with a heart-shaped like
The feeling that falters all with a tickling
Of ungodlike triviality but a constant pull
Of destiny and she thought of start
And life that flew through birth and open wounds
'Twas love that made the difference
In the end it was love that made
All the difference
Love given true as a breath from within
Love that melted boundaries tenderly from without

With swollen knuckles
That pain my eyes
You grip at the handle of a door
That melts into your hand like hope
Sinking beneath the layers of failed
Attempts to release the light kept
Deep inside you fail and fail and
Fail again to stand and wish
To look outside your prison mind
And trust one thing
That heaven sent mystery
And you fall and fail, fail and fall
You hope like a daydream
Like a tattoo of unfulfillable promise
Like your mother says she's staying
But you know she's only wishing you'd stop crying
Never a heart beating truth
Your hope is such
A cocktail of futility and fireworks
Explosions dangerous so back off your
Mortal vessels a monster's here
So please do be afraid
And if the spark of heaven told you
The reflection is an illusion
And you sense the truth
Of a shattered mirror mind
And sense the purpose
In the undying image
Burned inside your eyelids
I'll run away for good
I'm good at running
For better days when wounds would heal
And world would change
And people take the turns
Hopping on converters clearly defined
Perfection and garbage
Package themselves and seal their limits
With inspected labels of satisfaction guaranteed
Ambiguity doesn't threaten my
Scared limitations
I'll promise you the world and hell
Wrapped together with one ribbon
If you promise me the way I like it
Perversely so the wind carries me faster
In the direction away and gone

Dear fear you are the air
I breathe as I tear my face off the pillow soaked
With dreams  of worry
You embrace me with all the meaninglessness
There is to the lethality of this game
Fear to hurt, to be hurt
To be too quick and not quick enough
To be disconnected and connected way too much
I drink you like a daily cup of poison
Like a morning vitamin that reminds me
Nothing is quite how it should
Not yet not enough not what it has to be
Fear of loosing the path
That was never found
And there isn't a way to know
And there isn't really a path
But what if it gets lost
Before it's ever felt
And what if it was felt
But the cup is full yet again
And what if nothing happens at all
If i dissolve into someone who
Isn't poisoned by your awakening
One step at a time you say
And I agree
And yet each morning
I wake to a cup of coffee and a pillow
Soaked with fear

For goodness sake why evil
If even true villain prefers to hide
Behind a priests disguise
Why cutting vein that held your
Weight and serpentine glare is
Glued to the bottom of the eyes where soul resided
Now childlike and afraid
What transformation
Miraculous awakening
Yet again, why evil?

Black crow why do you
Sing of fear louder
Than you breathe
The soft embrace of non existence
Is comforting beyond hope
And your hope is
Berried so deep underneath
Scraps of sharp memories
And sweat drenched dirt
That step in the direction of
Unknown makes you fall
Before you feel the ground under
The soles of your tired feet
Why don't you leave, dark bird?
Sitting here perched on the windowsill
Ever so unnoticeably
Glancing at the faces of the living
Urning for something
To remind you of
What you thought yourself to be
With not a grain of sympathy
Abusing only to relate
Quiet, bird, don't spill
The effort don't be like those
Accustomed to play the
Assigned roles
This isn't your tree but you may rest here
And I grew accustomed to
Your quiet noises and loud
Silences
I love silences the most
For the wisdom
Of simply coexisting
In proximity
That is always comparative
Always devastatingly far
And dreadfully close
And if I wanted you to go
All I need is ask you to stay