L Seagull

Mar 2017

Dimitrios Sarris

Fact?

When do we truly dare to say that we know
someone or something at each fullest extent?
When we believe in it?
When we learn from it?
When we have proof for it?
What i understand is that we don't know even ourself
until a critical moment appears, until we have to make
a decision that will affect not only us but people we love
and our soul embrace.

L Seagull Mar 2017

See me

How can I open the window shut by fear
Let in the air of humanity
Into the stifling chamber filled with rage
How can I speak my heart you
Precious human behind the lens painted domino
You who believes in survival
At the hand of this sorting machine
Where you hid yourself
You whose strength I admire
Your generosity and loyalty
Makes me feel at home
Your warmth and mine
Gives out he same heat
Embrace me,
Hide me from cold indifference
We paint the masks
With patterns of truth and real
Yet still you are hidden
Behind a the mirror glass
Standing next to you
I reflect the hate of my complexion
And your ever so hurt
History
Will never allow me
To belong

Yet another day of trying to get over immersing myself into the world that lacks the niche for my identity

#hurting #blackandwhiteworld

L Seagull Mar 2017

All I want to say right now is

...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
******* i ******* hate you right now
Addendum: don't you dare show up anywhere near me, I'll spit into your ******* face, *****!

Inspired by my supervisor

#givenofucks

L Seagull Mar 2017

Still hopeful

I feel humanity
Seeping through your pupils
Filling me with that one
Most craved feeling
The only drug I would
Go to the end of the earth
To inject
The unity of two soles
In the small place of momentary
Intersection
I held you in my thoughts
And now in this singular
Eternity of a minute
I struggle to hold my tears
For there is nothing more important
For my soul than
to hold yours
In this unique moment
That will never repeat again

My trans girl client finally came back after being released from hospital before going for long term treatment due to attempted suicide, heavy drug abuse and prostitution. She's been so fragile and conflicted and we ended up having an unpleasant incident after which I hardly saw her. She was abused by her step dad and her mom never stood up for her. I didn't either at some point and have been eating myself alive for that. ****, I was so worried about her.

Mar 2017

wordvango

but nothing more

have you heard the wind
the trees rustle
the wings fly by
the sea roar
watched the mountain
and wonder
sink down
on your knees
knowing this is life
the end the beginning
we are no more
than a bird a mountain a tree a leaf
a wave crash on the shore
a shell
maybe a sunrise
or a moon on the horizon
but nothing more

L Seagull Mar 2017

Merge

Letting go of the mind control
On a long exhalation
And allowing your body
To merge with the forces
Of nature
To realize their true nature
To move, breathe, see all that
Was created long before
Humanity
How ******* beautiful

Was skiing today: lesson one - exhalation is a great weapon against fear, lesson two - don't try to ******* jump off the ******* lift if you missed the window, goddamit

Mar 2017

ryn

Anger (II)

This anger...

Feels like a ball of uncontrollable energy that spins treacherously in the pit of my stomach.

It is unbound and reaches out forcefully in every axis. It is self-sustaining. And it consumes...
All of me...

It's doesn't want to be displaced, or swept under the rug for the umpteenth time. It doesn't want to be cajoled or calmed. It doesn't want to be coaxed into thinking that it does not need to rear its ugly head because I believe I have a handle on things; which I clearly do not.

It knows me too well and will not take it lying down.

It wants acknowledgement and it wants to speak.

It wants to speak in a low guttural voice for the sheer purpose of intimidation.
It wants grow in figurative size to assert its validation.
It wants to absorb every form of negativity and use it to fuel the fight.
It wants to take the faintest pin-***** or papercut to the most painful stab in the heart and use them...
Harness them and then...
Explode in a hundred-mile radius.

This anger is real...
And it has had enough of sitting on the bench.
Now it wants a piece of the action...

And this time I let it.

#anger #hellopoetry107 #stagesofgriefseries