I'm not sure
What I'm looking for anymore
I just know
That I'm harder to console
I don't see who I'm trying to be
Instead of me
But the key
Is a question of control

Can you say
What you're trying to play anyway
I just pay
While you're breaking all the rules
All the signs that I find
Have been underlined
Devils thrive on the drive
That is fuelled

All this running around
Well it's getting me down
Just give me a pain that I'm used to
I don't need to believe
All the dreams you conceive
You just need to achieve
Something that rings true

There's a hole in your soul
Like an animal
With no conscience
Repentance unknown
Close your eyes
Pay the price for your paradise
Devils feed on the seeds
That are sown

Can't conceal what I feel
What I know is real
No mistaking the faking
I care
With a prayer in the air
I will leave it there
On a note full of hope
Not despair

All this running around
Well it's getting me down
Just give me a pain that I'm used to
I don't need to believe
All the dreams you conceive
You just need to achieve
Something that rings true

Kettle that holds in the steam explodes
Kettle that controls it best is most functional
Never hold it in
Always control HOW you express it

Drop after drop after drop of days
Going by in a chain from better to worse
To better with hope
Get used to reality
Predictability
Responsibility
Try harder to keep trying
Not dying in the relaxed state
Of nothing else to gain
Vital not to loose
The light of the watchtower
That you knew was built for you to find
Only for you...
All alone in the watchtower...
Maybe some day
For today, wherever those muddy feet of mine
Will take me
I wish not to be alone
I wish to share my reality
I wish to break the bubble
That appropriate place
Of perfect composure
I wish to break into song like
A melodramatic Broadway fool
I wish to jump in the puddles
I wish go scream alive into the wind
To feel it tearing at my desperately joyous seams
I wish to be touched by another's breath
I wish to be needed and
Stretch out my hand
Give it my all to be there
For anyone else but me
Most together there could ever be
Under the same sun
Breathing the same air
Walking the same ground
Wishing to be seen

There is love the basis of all
That is alive and joyful
There is passion, an unexpected
Combustion of magnetic fields
Deceivingly undeniable
Or the pure one
On the hammock last starry night
That started with a wholehearted hug
No diamond ring necessary
To prove that this one was
Meant to be

And then there is responsibility
When knowing makes lack of action
Impossible
Sometimes comes dressed as
A concerning and urgent
Question mark
The feeling comes and goes
There are plans and rules
That only an idiot
Writes in ink
But responsibility
Stays constant
It simply stays
Whether hope
Plays her part
Or chooses to depart

That strange beautiful dark sparkle in your eye
Or the velvety dark ******* in the light and night
Something in your eyes like
Wisdom or hopelessness
A particular calmness of a person
Who works hard to keep smiling but
With that smile is so **** inspiring
Yet escaped
No money or fame or success helped
To lift up the dying spirit He
Could not breathe the air of limitless
Possessions
Knowing the heart of the livelihood is missing
Entirely and tragically
So he left and closed the door

Backyard on the grass temperature raising
I feel a pulsating heat of energy inside my core
It feels right easy effortless
To breathe in the scent of your skin and
Melt into your fingertips
Oh how you feel me so well
Like you always did