Mind numbing. Self induced dumbing.
Thumbing through a book that could change my life.
I just want to believe something.
Whatever thing screamed the loudest
in my immediate surroundings.
I need substance to lean on.
A crutch.
So dependent on a distraction.
From what?
Too much.
I want to pull the thread but I don't want the unravel.
Any thing that takes my mind off the fear
of an answer to the unquenchable query.
"Tell me the truth."
"Wait, no. Please don't."
If I know then I have to do something about it.
And I wouldn't even know what to do.
Too late.
I heard you.
At the end of all this I shall be deemed guilty.

Why didn't she help?

A caveman discovering fire,
he can now stay warm in the cold and see light in the dark,
It feeds him and protects him, and he does likewise.

Electricity suddenly figured out,
the harnessing of lightening used to capture the suns impressive illumination,
Dark corners seen where shadows once resided.

Neil Armstrong's foot touching the surface of the moon,
as stars swirl around him,
and the Earth looks innocent, safe, and beautiful.

The first successful flight of an airplane,
finally feeling free like the birds,
and touching the once elusive clouds.

A heart surgeon looking at a sensitive beating *****,
knowing that rhythmic pulsing is necessary to sustain the body,
and caution must be taken not to hurt it.

Like a free-falling with a parachute.
Like a delicious appetizer, entree, and dessert all at once.
Like puppy kisses, or kitten purrs.
Like looking down from the top of a mountain.
Like every single sunrise and sunset you've ever seen, combined.
Like tearing up when you see people reunite.
Like meeting up with an old friend.
Like laughing until your stomach hurts.
Like that refreshingly calm breath after crying real hard.
Like holding a *** for too long but then finding a bathroom.
Like your first cup of coffee in the morning.
Like snow, a fireplace, hot cocoa, and a blanket.
Like a flower blooming.
Like the sound of the ocean.
Like a cool breeze on a sweltering day.
Like a good, long embrace.
Like a shot of hard liquor that warms your insides.
Like getting promoted.
Like finishing a creative endeavor.
Like your favorite sports team winning.
Like a baby smiling at you.
Like finding a good book or a good series.
Like fixing something properly all by yourself.
Like finding blue or purple sea glass.
Like mail with your name on it that isn't bills.

It's probably not like any of these things,
*it's probably a whole lot ******* better.

We are so flawed,
and we let others use it to hurt us.

We are so flawed,
when our convictions start to hurt people we love.

We are so flawed,
when we feel no guilt for hurting a stranger.

We are so flawed,
for thinking emotional pain is less than physical pain.

We are so flawed,
when we want someone to apologize and they're not going to.

We are so flawed,
when we struggle to forgive trespasses large and small.

We are so flawed,
when we think we deserve a prize for our kindness.

We are so flawed,
to believe ignorance is bliss.

We are so flawed,
it turns us into hypocrites.

We are so flawed,
that we close our hearts and minds for many reasons.

We are so flawed,
and so confused about ourselves and the world equally.

We are so flawed,
that we tell others of their flaws.

We are so flawed,
we can't even see it fully.

We are so flawed,
and so misunderstood.

I am so flawed,
This is why I need God.

I will shove all these letters,
all these vowels
and clever
spaces
down
your
t
h
r
o
a
t

*******,
eat my poetry.
Chew it around in your
mouth
before you swallow
all the
*******.

If you spit it out your dog
will eat it off the floor anyways.

If you think you're about to read something nice
think again.
This is the worst thing you've ever read,
written by the psychotic alive.
It had to be clarified he isn't dead
because he's actually rotting under my skin.
Oozing out like moldy cheese left in the sun,
sprouting hairs and covered in *****.
Everyone who looks at me pukes on me,
violently.
Getting it in my eyes, and up my nose,
until I choke on it and suffocate.
Dying repeatedly in a murderous loop
of zombie corpse mutation.
The third time dying makes me hungry,
I smell food in your bedroom.
Crawling across the floor in the dark,
you cant hear a sound,
my phantom ghastly body secret.
Underneath your bed I will be waiting till you sleep,
the moment your eyes close out I will peek.
Stare at you in the dark,
grin down upon you,
in shadow.
I am famished,
you look good enough to eat.
Everyone wakes up at the first bite,
screaming as blood splatters across the room.
Rip your voice box out while you're still awake
and kicking.
Reach my hand right down your throat
and ****** it.
**** your eyes out while I'm at it,
they're gooey and delicious.
Human beings are nutritious.
I work quickly yet painfully,
your nightmares should
be afraid of me.
I'm coming after you...

You look so warm inside the rays,
I watch them as they dance ballet.
Across your face they pirouette,
until my every worry, I forget.

You kiss each other playfully,
blissfully unaware of me.
Glowing in the afternoon,
Your golden skin, it makes me swoon.
I'm far too mesmerized with you nearby,
watching days pass within your eyes.

You look at me and
I become the hours,
seconds, minutes, it overpowers.
Blinded by a solar flare,
ignitions in the air,
burning all around,
wishing the sun would never go down,
Slow down.

You stick around to watch the sunset,
I start to become a silhouette.
It's getting dark,
until your laugh lights up a spark.

A fire growing on the inside,
Shadows run and hide,
darkness can't survive,
when you're ablaze.

You're a star from outer space,
Rising up to interlace,
the human race.

This I always knew,
is what connected me and you,
and we're connecting all of us.

Call it trust.
Parts of you that can't be seen
illuminate the heart of me.