She locked herself up in her room during the summer
until her skin turned pale white.

She dyed her hair red and let her Mom braid it
until her hair became long and mermaid-like.

She was a young girl who had always
believed in fairytales—
the only thing that gave out what "the meaning of life" could be.

She says she's going to find Prince Charming and
 he’s going to be everything she wants him to be.

She turned every page day to day waiting
for someone to save her from all the woes
the world has cast down upon her.

She waited until she was struck by reality with
demons in her mind and never being loved became her fear.

hands which have touched so much
but have held onto none;
it is you that i'm asking forgiveness for.

i can hear his sigh in the hum of my ceiling fan
and i can taste him in my coffee.
this isn't depressing, this is love.
i just need to drink more.

How awful it is to lay numb on your bed late at night & think about someone who isn't thinking about you.
How awful it is to dream about someone but wake up alone.
How awful it is to remember everything about someone who doesn't even remember your name.
How awful it is to write about someone who never wrote about you.
Awful, that's how it feels.
Wasted time, wasted years.
How awful it is to sit here and type your name but hitting the backspace button because typing your name gets me nowhere.
This poem is getting me nowhere, and that's an awful feeling.
But it is not as awful as thinking about you.

why, I wonder, have I become so fragile
when I used to be so strong

why, I wonder, do I see the world as if everyone is against me
when I can break through and see that they are not

why, I wonder, does my heart beat so fast and terror rushes through my veins for seemingly no reason at all
when there is nothing to be afraid of

why, I wonder, can I find so many flaws within myself
which were not there before

And with that I fell asleep