Sometimes I'll sit in a chair
or walk through a room
that you've also sat in
or walked through
just because the idea that
the ghost of your presence
is sharing a space with the reality of mine
sets me free and captivates me
all at the same time.

You have to be the best
You have to be the best
You have TO BE THE BEST

Kaye told me if you repeat something something over and over, it looses its meaning
Growing up I was a very competitive kid
I was raised with this mentality that if you weren't the best
You were worth nothing
"Why did she get 100% ?"
"Why is he faster than you?"
"Does she have two brains? "
"Does he have four legs?" my father often said.
This put me in a continuous race where no matter what happened
I had to be first
No matter what happened, I had to be first
No matter how many times I kept tripping, falling on my face,
No matter how many times life kept beating me to the ground
Waiting for me to get back up only to trip me again.
The best.
We were taught to be the best when none of us knew what it felt like to be good
It was always a battle between more and too much
As a kid, I kept aiming and aiming and aiming
Without really knowing where my target was
Didn't matter. I had to be the best.
I fought with endless ways to get eyes of approval and pride
Forgetting that it is is human nature to never be satisfied.
Enough was never enough
That didn't stop me.
Everywhere I looked, people had stopped running
Whether it was in the middle or the end if the race
We all have a long way to run
However, we shouldn't be allowed to define ourselves by our destination
Because, remember, it's the journey that puts the focus on the finishing line.

Swaying her hips,
she asks him to dance.
It is a masquerade ball,
and she's taking her chance.
From afar she had loved him,
too timid to even try.
But now she is taking,
tonight it's do or die.

Licking my lips,
I wonder if he can see,
How badly I want a kiss?
Can he sense my need?
My brazen desire
To just be pleased,
One night of lust,
Infatuation and  greed

He pulled her close,
lips by her ear.
"Come away with me,
love me my dear."
Taking her hand he left,
through the crowd and up the street.
Stopping only once,
To kiss her oh so sweet.

My God, I wanna rip him apart right here
I'm so wet, I'm soaked through
I wanna lick, I wanna taste
I'll do whatever he wants to
I desire the feel of skin on skin
Please, just let us  begin!

Through the park they did run,
In a gentle summer rain.
Pushing her against a tree,
her pleasure was his aim.
Under the dress his hand did go,
While he bite at her lips.
She moaned into the night,
and rocked her curvy hips.

I want him inside me,
I can't wait till we get home,
No, just do me against this tree,
I'll pleasure him, if he just pleasures me
I'm writhing, I'm wet
I want his tongue probing my mouth,
His palms splayed on my back
Then moving so much farther  south

He turns her around,
she now faces the tree.
Throwing up the dress,
He goes on bended knee.
******* are ripped,
as his silken tongue seeks.
Her moans get louder,
as her legs get weak.

Oh, heavenly bliss
I've never felt anything sweeter
The feel of his talented lips
Just keep taking me higher
Although this is completely satisfying
The only thing I want is his entire length  inside me

She rocked her hips,
begging for more.
As upon his tongue,
her essence did pour.
He let himself free,
Sliding it across her ****,
Then slipped slowly inside,
once he was slippery slick.

Oh My, just what I was waiting for
I failed to conceal the moan I let slip
He pushed even deeper inside me
And I couldn't help but bite my lip
With every inch I felt it farther in my core
I let out a scream, begging for  *MORE

Maybe

Maybe* she won't cry today,
And maybe he won't lie today,
And maybe life goes on today,
But maybe I'll be wrong today.

Maybe I'll be strong today,
And maybe tears won't fall today,
But maybe he'll break down today,
Because maybe she won't die today.

Maybe things get better today,
And maybe I'll write the letter today,
Maybe I'll sign my name in ink,
But maybe that's a permanent link.

Maybe that's too much for me,
Maybe "attached" is something I don't wanna be,
And maybe it'd be painful to watch,
Over the years; Death's painful march.

And maybe she'll go down today,
And maybe things won't be okay,
And maybe he'll give up and say,
That maybe he'll just run away.

But maybe I'll just cry today,
Maybe that's a better way.
Maybe that's my job today,
Maybe I'll just try to be okay.

Because maybe it's important to grieve,
And maybe it's okay to leave,
A little room to be left for me,
A little time to simply breath.

Maybe I should put myself first,
And maybe it wouldn't be the worst,
To maybe just take care of me,
Instead of being the one in lead.

*Maybe.