for the one who wages war from her father’s house

There is a room
where the mirror is cleaned
by hands that pray for her return.

She draws a blade with manicured grip
and calls it liberation—
but the war she wages is funded
by the very peace she pretends to renounce.

Her rebellion arrives
in first-class comfort,
her prayers echo
from marble bathtubs
and curated playlists
with titles like

“healing”

and “rage.”

She is the daughter
of the one she claims to flee—
but the mansioned roof above  her ache

is paid in his name.

And the poetry?
It is not born of blood,
but Wi-Fi.
New iPhones every season.
A bed delivered in twelve boxes..

of fatherly love she does not unpack

because it’s easier to sleep
on metaphors.


She does not kneel.
She poses.
She does not fast.
She captions.

They gather in awe,
praising the deity of her discontent,
not knowing
her god is a trust fund
and her gospel
a curated pout.

This is not exile.
It’s a vacation
in the palace
of grievance.

But even velvet grows mold
when worshipped too long.

And no one asks
why the daughter never bled
while calling it war—
why the dress of defiance
was stitched from a name
she no longer reveres,

and driven in a car
her labor never earned,
to places that dishonor
a wealthy father's
whole household

Step by step,
no louder than breath—
I walk beside
what isn’t mine to name.

No banners,
no blueprints,
just this sound
of stone learning softness.

You open a window.
I keep the door unlatched.

Let fear finish its echo.
Let the dark chants drift.

Not all ruin is ending.
Some of it
is soil.

She smiled,
but only barely,
like it was a secret she didn’t want
you to know.

And for a second,
it felt like the world
might not be so bad after all.

You are the Sun and the Moon to me,
  The tallest tree,
   The stars and the sea,
    The highest mountain,
     The whitest beach,
      The deepest valley,
       The sweetest dream,
        The tastiest confection,
         The finest wine,
           My best friend.
So hot, you burn me, so airless and frigid, I freeze,
  So high, you’re beyond my grasp,
   Too far away to ever reach, so vast and deep, I’d drown if immersed,
     Impossible to surmount alone,
      There, blinded by the glare, dehydrated by the salty air, burnt by the brutal sun,
       Where I’m forever in the shadows,
        Which will forever be unreal,
         Which rots my teeth and shocks my blood,
          Which I can’t afford,
           Who turned their back.

I kept the book you gave me,
the one you never finished.
The corners are still creased
where you stopped -
a moment frozen in paper.

I tried to read past it once,
but the words were ghosts
of a story I didn’t know
how to end.

So it sits on my shelf,
not quite forgotten,
not quite forgiven,
like the memory of you.

Hello world
You may not recognize me
though now I finally recognize myself

I made a difficult choice
freedom over familiarity
I ran to a new beginning
Shedding all those who attempted to control
through lies and vitriol

I have found my voice
I will use my voice
to be a truth teller,
a mirror,
a fierce catalyst for wellness

I have found my voice,
so I sing out
with rebellious joy
Hello world
Hello


© 2025 Joan Zaruba. All rights reserved.