How many stars are to fall, until you notice, who made them all?

How many seas are to dry, until you see how hard I try?

How many dreams are to be , until you remember Me?

I love you more than you can fathom, and yet you can't seem to remember Me,
you leave Me in the corner,
waiting patiently...

But when you'll need Me,
I'll still be here;
and even if I seem far,
I'll always be near.

Forever loving

God

Listen to the voices of present, past;
look to the future:
nothing will last.

Except for God's grace, eternally true,
take it now: it's meant for you.

You love the look, the electricity, desire my lightning
But you hate the thunder
I'll admit it can be frightening
When my mind burst asunder
Heart chakra tightening
You are the sun and i am the storm
But we need each other and you keep me warm
I told you I'd have you, running for the hills
The pain i would cause, along with the thrills
I'm an *******, completely undeserving
Unstable eccentric unpredictable swerving
Astounded that you will even have me in your presence
Like water for my soul, drown me in your essence
Your magic instills such a skillful resistance
To all of my depression and its relentless persistence
Quiet my heart, heavy and abrasive pounds
I just want to listen to music with you revel in the strange sounds
You help me walk in a world i forgot i could
Challenge what i do and remind me what i should
My sun in the sky my shaman, who re-introduced myself to me
My light tower in the distance when I'm lost at sea
Ill be yours if you'll be mine
Souls enmesh, utterly divine
Im needy attached possessive and insane
But i swear the love i can give is worth the pain

little room
with your small windows and your unimpressive door
dirt floors and a cavernous ceiling
but shelter is shelter and a heart is still a home
you hold me and keep me warm and there's never a thank you for a house but i'll write as many words as i can to show my love
you are a buoy in a choppy sea
and though you be but plain,
just four corners and bare white walls,
you are refuge, you are hope, you are the love i never knew i held so dear

The flies have finally flown away
from the desiccated pieces of s*
lying around the courthouse

If I were in Saudi Arabia
I would be beheaded
******, the butterfly started

Dropping off on the lavender
puppies need to work on their camouflage
getting off

tomato plants,
monstrous in their own dwarfish way
march toward me at the bedroom window

Now I enter the guest room
the scene has changed dramatically
it's dark

there's a moaning almost
but actually a droning
the air purifier in the corner

great sleeping
White Noise
Jesus I could sleep for Generations

Now I'm pacing
I'm pacing up and down the hallway
back and forth

between the bedroom and the living room
and now here I am
finally in the solitary of my office

I look at my Wi-Fi printer
working great by the way
I admire its beauty

hardly any dust on it or static
I wipe the dust off
very beautiful

I look at the flickering lights
cable modem coming into the house
that is not the only religion

just say the words, ******
come on, you don't have all day
(whispers) I-I-.....
******, they didn't even hear you try
The action races through my head,
the possibilities are endless.
Can't I just text them, Won't that be easier??
No, Sam, no. you have to do this in person
"I am...."
they still didn't hear you, you were always too quiet
come on, you had enough strength the first time
little bit more, you got this
"I* am..."
say it, look they stopped talking for you
come on, now you made it more awkward
"Are you okay?"
"Oh What? Silly me, yes of course I am fine. I just wanted to tell you something"
nice save? not really, now you have their full attention
"Okay, I'm here, what is it?"
****** ****** ****** I can't do this nope nope nope
breathe, you got this
why is this so hard? I've done this before
oh my god are you actually doing this
is this a good idea
run, run as fast as possible back to the closet
NO GOD ****** SAM JUST SAY IT
"I'm gay, not straight. Well, maybe I'm bisexual, I'm not sure yet."
what the **** was that
oh god what do they think of me
silence...silence not good NOT GOOD
and um you identify as biromantic homosexual, but sure close enough
STILL SILENCE SAY SOMETHING
"Oh! I wasn't expecting that, but okay! Whomever you love is fine with me"
"I-uh-um-Thank you so much, you have no idea what this means to me....
I'm rambling
I can't stop myself from going on
what am I even saying anymore?
oh god I can't stop shaking
it's okay, they accept you, you're fine
or am I fine
Do they actually accept me?
How do I know the truth?
SHHHHH JUST STOP SAM YOUR FINE GOD
...and so basically Thank you so much again."
silence again, I said too much
I'm just going to stop talking....
...and thinking
they can do the rest of the work
*because in reality, that was **** exhausting