Today when wandering at around daybreak
I was Wondering

Those little birds
So little
Spheral glistening eyes
Majestic feather patterns
Chirruping, twittering,fluttering
Dots the vast nothing of sky
Flocking in sync

Pulls of a fleeting but perfect
Performance
And push off
From somewhere to somewhere

I hope they know
where they are going
What are they doing

I hope they know
That it's gonna rain
That what would be tasty and
what's gonna pain


I hope they can tell
From a toxic and a good fern
That morning sun soothe and
Noon one gonna burn

What is love, life, sorrow
Can they tell today from tomorrow
Bliss, health, Joy and
to be watchful of an arrow;


And which is autumnal air
And then, that  it's gonna snow
I just hope for em all
Do they know?

Of course, they know!!

Right?

I wish I could fly,
Or at least just sit by
Sometimes and could tell em
That we all down here
Are cool
And hope you fly for joy
not of fear
For it lifts our soul in whole
Of your sight mere;

And yeah
come over anytime
we'll share a bite
And tales
Of our low slung world
And of your endless realms.


Is there a way to thank them
Or any gesture of reassurance
Any signal I can wave to them
That they can understand
Is there any?

I know
That there's no.
To let them know

Those little ones
Up there.

I would write your name on my heart
But one day it may fail
I would carve your name into trees
But one day they may fall
So I'll just write your name on the Internet
*Because nothing we ****** say on there
Can ever be erased.

deep and warm
soft and strong
calm and exhilarating
wide open spaces
cozy embraces
holding and swaying
laughing and **praying

when i was in seventh grade i thought i was thin
i had never looked at my body and thought it wasn't good enough or compared myself to anyone else or gave a **** about the numbers.
when i was in eighth grade a girl called me fat
it resonated with me. it bounced around in my head every second of every day and i began to look at other girls and see that i wasn't like them, i wasn't thin, i wasn't perfect, i wasn't good enough.
when i was in ninth grade i started to believe her
i hated my body every night i would lay awake and pinch my fat and cry until i fell asleep because i hated myself and everything about me
when i was in tenth grade i stopped eating
i remember the first day like it was yesterday, i took more food than the other girls and for the first time i noticed. i didn't eat like a girl and maybe not eating would make up for the years i'd spent as a whale.
when i was in eleventh grade i knew i was thin
but i didn't care. a girl saw me in the halls and told me i should be a model and all i heard was "keep starving, get better" so that's what i did and it made the hunger pains and fainting spells feel almost worth it.
when i was in twelfth grade i decided to get better
better is a nice way of saying fat (it was a mistake and that's all there is to it)
when i went to college things got good again
and by good i mean bad, at least i think i do, because i got thin and unhappy but i was unhappier before so at least i was thin again, right? no one noticed and no one cared except a university counselor who spewed a bunch of textbook ******* about loving myself until i finally quit calling her back.
now i don't know what to do
two options before me but only one in my hands and it represents the girl i will become. "you could be a model" or "you're so fat" are phrases i say to myself every day and i wish it wasn't that way but it is.
dear future me:**
are you better? or are you thin? because you know you can't ever be both.

i told them what happened
i cried in their faces
some said "you were wearing those leggings- you know what that was saying"
some didn't believe me at first but when the tears came they heard
the pain in my voice and they believed my words
some said i didn't deserve it but at the end of the day i willing put myself in the situation
'what the hell' i thought
'i have no support"
the group message was all complaints
about them being pulled from class to help my case
did they not see my pain?
i felt all alone
like no one believed that i had said the word "no"
or that i asked him several times if we could go
and he replied "no"
my consent didn't matter
when the only way out is to climb the ladder
that's what u should do
i couldve bit and i could have fought but i didn't see how when every boy i play fight w could pin me down
and i had just bought the pepper spray that was in the compartment between us

nobody believed me
maybe he did
but he still blamed the situation on me
when you say what you say all i hear is
"you got ***** bc you put yourself in the position too"
i knew it could happen
so does that mean i was asking for it?
no
^ that's the word he didn't understand
i want to puke, and sometimes cry
other times i'm numb and feel nothing inside
i can't be alone w my love now and not breakdown
i had a dream last night it happened again
except this time i told no one
because why go through the pain of telling it and re creating it to these people
if they aren't gonna believe ya
im laying in the dark and hoping that i can ball and cry reall soon
"thank for believing"
i got to say to no one ever

In a crowd she stands alone,
her beauty creeps out.
Mysterious shades of color enchain her captivating allure,
every shade more beautiful than the last.
The efflorescence of a flower fails to image her,
flawless from head to toe.
The illusion of free will quickly fades,
I cannot deny my attraction to her,
She glows.
Warming the room by her graceful movements,
clocks slow, each second delights in her every twirl.
Tick. Toc.
Her look sets me at ease.
Freeing me from my uncertainty, I now clench belief close to my heart,
summoned by a dream with every beat.
I am left in a daydream,
As, she is gone…

Lost, yet found. The birth of her image evolves into a smile.
Generously pouring herself into my soul.
Where she dances to the rhythm of my heart,
composing every beat with her natural style.
As the kindness of her soul glows with each breath she takes,
all that is left: I am but a witness.
A witness to…. what she breathes, to what lies beneath,
a compassionate, warm-loving, blessed and able heart.
One that most dream about, some talk about and few meet.
Her thumping heart breathes into the lives around her, filling the air with joy and truth.

When you are on top
Don't forget to respect small things
Because they are the foundation of your success

honestly what did it mean
whatever it was
it was so obscene
girl get your head out those ******* books
maybe then your words won't get mistook
im sorry
i left
you left me bereft
whatever i did
it was all for the best
and whatever was left
well that was for the rest