I can't seem to wash you off my skin.
Yours accidentally touched mine.
As shadows fall onto the eclipse,
my heart turns into a landmine.

Exhausted it lays, beating faster,
whenever you're on my mind.
Breaths, drawn in sharper,
I can't seem to shut you out.

It's ridiculous, I say to myself,
the power you have on me.
Thoughts of you send splinters
throughout every inch of my body.

Your presence itself feels like a sin.
you're all I think about.
My wishes, never leaving my lips,
could cause the stars to burn out.

It all weighs heavy on my chest,
like ruins no one came to save.
So I leave it there—forgotten, rotting—
just wishful thinking
digging its own grave.

I've put you out of my mind.
Pages, chapters were turned
We've carried on with new lives.
But seeing you stirred
Something in me I can't quite comprehend.

We were so good for a while.
Overwhelming and grossly fun
I remember the shivers that ran down my spine
Whilst you opened up my heart.
Why you stopped, I'll never understand.

You were taken aback by the chemistry,
The almost could have beens,
You called me the Enigma, full of mystery
A work of wonder left feeling cheap.
Words off your mouth like ambrosia I drank.

And now I'm having dreams about you
When I've filed you away.
I would have been yours, if you'd asked me to.
I'm sorry you realised too late
That you ****** it up right at the start.

I'm drinking a lot.
Forgot why I started
One excuse, it seems like
became a hundred.
Quietens the demons
You say, with a knowledge.
Always unsatisfied,
Life bleeds on a knife edge.

I'm smoking a lot.
Unsure of the whys
Trying to piece together
Sane parts of the mind.
They used to help
But keep dragging me down,
Just like we do each other
Deep underground.

Help me smother these chaotic sparks
you’ve fed, fuelled and let grow
whilst gasping for air, my bleeding heart
submits quietly to your soul.

I always thought the darkness fed on me.
Hunted me, like prey.
Made me weaker, made me lose control.
I realise now, darkness did nothing. I did.
I offered myself up on a plate,
Heading down the paths I have already walked.
It's all my fault. It's all on me.
What a freakish thing,
Blaming my wrongdoings on him.
If anything, darkness is a mate
I owe an apology to.
I didn't mean to bad-mouth you,
When you're the only one carrying me
On your back, when I get deep, dark blue.