What a good system
I can cry for hours all alone at night
But in the morning
If I smile
No one knows
Great.

You don't like me?
Wow I'm so devastated
I'm going to go die now in eternal misery and disappointment
OH wait
oh yeah! that's right!
I literally do NOT care at all!!

Really mean bullies are like slinkies
Not good for much
but they bring a smile to people's faces
...when pushed down the stairs
Some truly unkind people
who hurt others to build themselves up
are pretty much still alive
Only because
It is illegal to **** them
But you know what?
Maybe that is just because they need a high five
...in the face...
...with a brick.

You know why I'm obsessed with makeup?
You know why I literally BREAK. DOWN. when I see myself in the mirror on one of those REALLY ugly days that I have?
You know why I seem f!cking vain and beauty obsessed and attention seeking because of how self-deprecating I am?
You know why I am currently crying...alone...on my bedroom floor...kind of pathetically?

Because now I'm a little bit scared
That maybe I DO have a disease of the mind
Maybe I DO have something in my head that isn't right
It just seems so impossible
Because I mean
I look in the mirror
And all I see is this hideous shameful beastly girl
So ugly
In fact, I genuinely feel terrible for the people who have to look at me
and I don't know why
I just don't see how anybody could ever possibly think that I am pretty
And for some reasons I'm crying right now
And I feel really alone
But no no no
There is no way I really have dysmorphia
Is there?

I feel embarrassed
Like I come across shallow
And stupid
And makeup obsessed
Because I can't ever see myself as pretty
NOT EVEN ONCE
not even decent
Not even reasonable
I just. see. UGLY.
and ashamed of my face,
And ashamed of my obsession
With cosmetics
Because it is like the only medicine they made
To fix this affliction
Makeup can make up for how ugly I am
maybe it can fix me
maybe I won't hate myself anymore
but it never does
and I hate crying alone!

Once again I wore my spiked choker and wristband today
I haven't worn them in a while
Because everyone thinks I'm depressed when I wear them
But I realized I don't care what people think of me
I'm not hollow like I was the last time I wore this
So that is all that really matters
This is my little symbol of rebellion
Against hatred
To say to those who prejudge me and hate me:
F!ck you
I'll do whatever the hell I feel like
Your approval is not needed
I'm happy dressed this way
That's all that matters
I encourage everyone to have a little bit
Of that "F!ck You Attitude" today
Just little symbols of rebellion
Draw a black X on your wrist today
In black ink
If you support
Being yourself regardless what people think
And through this little ink symbol
Though apart in miles
We will be united in spirit
Be YOU :)
X

I want to carry it with you.
I don't need to know your burden
Because it probably won't really help
And you probably don't want to tell me anyway
I get that
I've been there
I am there
I know people who have been there
I know people who are there
If you don't have one, you probably will one day.
Most of us do.
Because we live in an ugly society
But a beautiful world
If you want someone to know
If you want ME to know
That you are carrying a heavy burden
You don't need to tell me
You can if you want
I will listen
I will help you bear it
But if you just want someone to know you are carrying a burden
And nothing beyond that
Comment a heart <3
Just leave a heart like this: <3
If you want to share your burden
Message me, or comment telling me your burden
Just know, it doesn't make you weak to share your burden
It makes you strong
Regardless what you do, comment with a heart if you carry a burden
And I will know, even if no one else on the entire earth does
That you carry a burden
I will know that you are strong
And I will genuinely take some time at night
To ponder you, as a soul
And your strength
And try to find a way
Inside myself
To put myself in a mental state where I help you to carry your burden
Emotionally
No matter how many miles apart we are
I will be with you in spirit
To help you carry your burden
And I wish all of you love and strength
You are soldiers
You are all strong
<3

Love Ember

We promised
Sister Forever
We marked ourselves
A sign of love and belonging
Until
It became cold
The air was frigid between us
Someone even said
It was like stepping into a freezer
When they walked by us
And they were right
It was frozen
We let the ink fade
And wrote something new
Adelfés Gia Pánta
It was the same thing
When translated to english
But the meaning was entirely
Different
Because there was no you
Anymore
Elpízo̱ óti tha petháneis se mia skoteiní̱ trýpa gemáti̱ me arouraíous kai ta fídia

I have a friend
Who is beautiful
And kind
But I am losing her
To the dark side
No not to anything life threatening
Yet
It is this thing called
Popularity
And she wants it
And I'm pretty sure she would do anything
Not to feel invisible
That is a long list
I am worried
Every time I see her
She is more and more distant
She is crazy
Like before
But in a way that is different
How you act with your new friends
Conflicts with some of my morals
You can't seem to think
About academics
Or family
Only your social circle
I am worried
Someone is going to take advantage of your desperateness
To be Seen
And you are going to get hurt
Honestly the only thing that keeps me
From hiding in bushes outside of the houses
You go to parties in
With a chainsaw
Ready to rush to your rescue
Is that you don't tell me when they are
And also I don't currently have a chainsaw in my possession
I am worried
That I am going to lose you