When my brain is empty
And my heart sits tight
I make sure to loosen the chains of comfort
Before bleeding ink on paper
I loosen up the strain of worry
My wrist sketching freely in front of me
While my lungs breathe for a first time again
And my blood runs with each stroke
So I can taste freedom on my tongue

I’m running always
Running behind
Running in circles
Running further

Running away
from the immortal snail
That turns into judgement
when you look at it right way

Never stop
Never breathe
Never being good enough

I fear looking into the eyes of said immortal snail
Fear seeing what they whisper into my ear
Afraid that I’ll be too frail
And the whispers confirmed by what I’ll hear

That’s why I’m running
Running always
Running behind
Running in circles
Just running further away

Wondering how we got so close
Your voice, your eyes, your words they lure me in
Locked away secrets spilling
Flowing over my tongue like waterfalls
As whilst I’m falling myself
Trusting you to catch me blindly

My mind tells me not to
But I can’t help but fall for you.
Your smile makes my heart sting
But your laugh quietens my beliefs.
My head wants to quit
But my heart tells me not to.
I am confused
About how I feel about you.

I hate your ****** jokes and your stupid smile.
I hate how you laugh with others and your grin mirrors mine.
I hate how you look at me out of your big stupid brown eyes.
And I remind myself that showing this is not that wise.
I hate how you make me want to be the person you laugh with and face,
Instead of going to another place.
But at the end of the day you don’t hate me
and you don’t know me.
That’s why I hate you from afar even though I’m made to love you closely.

You remind me of the moon

Calm and collecting

Mesmerising whilst reflecting

Yet I plead you not to swoon

You look at my face

Like I give you the stars

While you cherish my scars

With every single trace

With every pencils brush

You make me flush

Your eyes they shine

Alone in mine