But what do you mean?
No no no
Please
What's wrong?
What've I done?
I'm sorry
I'm so sorry please
Okay
Yes
Yes
Okay
Goodbye

And in this silence I can feel
Suddenly I am aware of the sounds we take for granted
Like the gossip of the leaves
When they whisper urgently in the wind
Or the way our footsteps beat together in some kind of harmony
With uneven steps and speeds
Somehow the colliding sounds of heel on dirt
Mesh into some beautiful composition of purpose
The cries of the woods
The squirrels and the deer and the rabbits and the wolves
The far off laughter or chatter
Of all the other people we push aside
The humanity of those we try so hard to ignore
All those little sounds
Barely register in our consciousness
But in this silence I can feel them all
Except for you
Except for you, what did you say?

Can you just stand there and let me look at you?
Just wait
As I absorb every detail that makes you what you are
It's a shame to steal glances from your conversation
To merely glance and be reminded of all you stand for
It's a shame I have to remember you from afar
A shame I have to hide my penetrating gaze,
Avert my eyes from being noticed
Bury my admiration for passing fancy
Can't you let me take in your splendor?
Only once
Grant me this limitless window to your being
Let me absorb the devil of your details
And be reminded of our past
Let me see in you what I see
Not the world
But the entity only I can behold
Let me look at you and be reminded of how you've changed me
How you've changed
How we laughed;
How we grew
Wise and knowledgable of each other as siblings
Let me see in you your weaknesses and
Your secrets
And let me see how they make you strong
Let me see your imperfections
And appreciate the designs they build in your character
Let me peel away your fleshy facade
You never could lie to me anyway
And see that cascade of color slosh around in your head
How it runs through your bones
Gives breath and passion to your lungs
How it rushes through your blood
Let me recognize the infinity of your thoughts and understand the depth behind your simple words
Won't you let me stare?
Only for a bit
Only for a while
Only enough to remember who you are to me
Only enough to commit your soul to memory
Oh won't you let me indulge in this intimacy?

Do not confuse my arrogance for confidence
I really am a self-centered ******* who
Has no idea what he's doing
And that's the truth
~ Sincerely
The Anxious Secret