I choose to die and not to live is my life
Paranoia to live is my greatest fear, less is death

As I sink into the sands of doom of time
There is no longer a great creator in my life

Swimming to nothing, is how I feel
The end of wisdom is falling beneath me

Into the darkness of time I’ll shall sink within
No fault to blame me, but only to blame time

Rediscovering my computations of hell
A black hole is my falling beneath my feet

Where no pieces of the puzzle fit together
For this I have trained for throughout my life

as her lingering sent fills the room
i think of my lover, the girl i love

who's so sincere, yet very secretive
i close my eyes to see her

to only wish that she was here
not knowing where she is

she is my lover and i love her so
and it drives me crazy when she's away

the sent that she carries
drives me insane

captured only by my sins
as they float endlessly within

shackled by my life which has me trapped without a doubt

these walls are cold and pale
this cage is made of steel

screams fill the room
alone i drop and kneel

silence now the sound
my breathing is the only motion

demons clutter around me
my face shows no emotions

drowning in my tears
expecting no return

so i hold my head up high
hiding hate that burns inside
which only fuels my selfish pride

held captive, i see no sun
a sun that shines on only some
i am meek and only one

i hear a thunder in the distance
i see a vision of a cross
i feel the pain that was given
on that sad of loss

a lion roars in the darkness
only he holds the key
a light to free me from my burdens
and grant me life eternally

i cry out to god
seeking only his decision
gabriel stands and confirms

that i've created my own prison

As I only see blood red
In time of pain

The times of darkness
Reins me in

Like a hurricane blowing
With nature's pain

My life feels over
From this pain within

As I walk on nials
With aching in my heart

These tears of blood
Come from my heart

Why does this happen
Happen to me

I didn't look for this life
Of pain and misery

Charmed I'm sure, as she says to me.
Be my friend, as I say then.

She takes me hand, what's her plan.
I walk with her, because of her.

She stops and looks, then kisses me.
I look and stare and say what a girl.

She pulls me in to her own arms.
I think and say, what a day.

She pulls me in bed and says what a man.
I don't fight back and try to relax.

She uses and soothes me because I'm her man.
I love her and **** her, because that's my plan.

As I sit here in time
And chip away rocks
One rock at a time
One falls to the ground
With blood on my hands
I chip at another stained with sweat
It was from an old lover
I look to the ground
And its covered by another
As I chip away at life
My pile is very full
I shuffle through rocks
To see where I'll go
I see rocks stained with tears
I see rocks from my past years
I find rocks of heart aches
Which there were many
I find rocks of joy
Which there are plenty
There's rocks filled with herion
That's from my past
There rocks of forgiving
Those are rocks that last
There's rocks of bad
From when I was a boy
There's rocks of lonlyness
From when I was alone
No matter the cause
No matter the reason
These are rocks of my life
It's what gives me meaning

Hello my friend we meet again
It's been awhile where should we begin
Feels like forever

With in my heart are memories
Our perfect love that you gave me
Oh I remember

When your with me, I am free
I'm careless, I believe

Above all others we fly
This brings tears to my eyes

We've seen our shares of ups and downs
Oh how quickly life can turn around

In an instant

It feels so good to reunite
Within yourself and within your mind

Lets find peace there
My sacrifice

Shedding skin and
I've been picking my scabs again

I'm down digging through my old muscles,
looking for a clue

I've been crawling on my belly,
clearing out what could have been.

I've been wallowing in my own confused
and insecure delusions

For a peace to cross me over
or a word to guide me.

I want feel the changes coming down
and knowing what I've been hiding in

My shadow change is coming through my shadow.
Clearing out what could've been.

I've been wallowing in my own chaotic
and insecure delusions.

I want feel the change consume me
From my shadow within

What does it take to step though
this shadow of mine i live in

My **** is tight
My great white hype
X men gene grey light
50shade 555 grey
Apocalypse delay
Russia wars decays
Let take all day
Take three ways
Triple six man of cay
Stick figure draw play
But explain the ray
The rate and Illuminati rates
Blood sacrifice pray
Hollywood royalty pay
California flames of hell say
Scramble imagine always
I'm feeling myself I'm okay
Shallow smiles hurray
I'm a.Ali with bee spray

As you split my brain with your lies
The other half lyes crazy for you

My thoughts bounce back and forth
One day I love the next day a don't

These feelings you bring me, I try to hide
These feeling of love I hold inside

The pain you bring me
I take it out on you in bed

The things that we say
Are the reasons I stay

I will stick by you as long as I can
But you must change your mysterious ways

Take,
if you want a slice
Take,
if you want a piece
Take,
if it feels alright

Break,
if you like the sound
Break,
if it gets you up
Break,
if it brings you down

Share,
If it makes you sleep
Share,
If it sets you free
Share,
If it helps you breathe

Cry,
if you want to cry
Cry,
if it helps you to see
Cry
if it clears your eye's

Hate,
if you want to hate
Hate,
if it keeps you safe
Hate
if it makes you brave

Pray,
if you want to pray
Pray,
if you like to kneel
Pray,
if you like to lay

Don't come over here and **** on my grave
Just keep it off my wave

when i see a shooting star, i wonder how fast it's gone.
i don't wish upon it.

when i see a rainbow, i wonder were it starts and ends
i don't think about a *** of gold.

when i think of lucky charms, i wonder why is that man short
not that he's a lepracorn.

when i find a penny on the ground, i look for more
i don't think it's luckey.

when i hav a eye lash by my eye
i get ****** if someone tries to blow it.

when i find my lost keys, i don't say thank god
i say ****

my glass is never half empty or half full
i drink it all

i always finish what i start,
i'm finished when i get tired.

i always say what i do and do what i say, sometimes

i don't lie, sometimes
i don't cheat, sometime

but i write to much, talk to much, speak my peace, tell you how it is,
don't care what people think and will tell you to shut up.

but my qualities are,  i'm real, i help others, i show love, i inspire, i teache,
i love life, i enjoy *** and i believe in GOD and JESUS CHRIST

Headstrong, yet bitten by the snake of narcotic charm...
As the venom flows, your dreams slowly begin to die
The goals, the passions, the visions begin to change
The personalty of the passionate man turns to selfishness
The confidence turns to self pity from the demon within
What was, what is and what will be, turns to nothing
The morals turn to lies, the caring turns to taking
This narcotic charm transfers itself to a necrotic death
Your family, your friends, your love, have slowly given up
You've hit rock bottom and still look for the snake's charm
It has been your pet for so long and you can't let it go
Your only have two choices, to slither in it's hole and die
The second is the *most important decision of your life

The day you left for your space
The tears I cried that filled my eyes

Counting the hours each and everyday
Making myself sick in everyway

I wish I could sleep, my life away
Why did this day, have to end this way

I never thought that the night
Would hold me in such freight

If I could only see pass the dark
Or just close my eye's from the start

To feel the fear of you not being here
Not knowing the answers of why your not here

I will pull my eyes out, hold my breath
and wait until I shake, to hear an answer

If I had some faith, I could make it safe
If I was only sure, your love is pure

Never never land, a place not to go
A place where sin lives, a place of misery

Dark and cold in nature, while sweating with heat.
Lives that go nowhere, where nothing's complete.

Never never land, how can this be.
It's everywhere, it's very close to you and me.

Close your eyes, and think those thoughts.
Those thoughts that cause pain with a life of doubt.

From the flutter,
of the butterfly's wings...

To the pain,
of the bee's sting....

Things we see....
Things we feel...

The things in life,
are very real...

From the atomic bomb...
To the earth that trembles....

Can end the lives of many,
with new life to plentish....

Nevertheless I am love also a rush
My cheeks flushed and eyes ******

Meet a keepsake on hush
When I big bad wolf Billy goat gruff

Hide ya goat and hide sheep laid-off
The time at hand as sky cabinet on off

Power invested Light switched on an off
Witches Twitches super stitches goof off

Class clown and toughest in the crowd
Rastafarian smoke loud but proud

Follow the crowd a d mean while
Laugh out loud and count cash pile

It's a showdown,
in a no girl's land...

Come on devil,
I got a gun,
let's have some fun...

There's never a plan,
in no girl's land....

Also I am the drifting
Shifting astonishing

Sound clerafying
Inside dull dying

Drive is inclining
Street corner climbing

I am rythym still smiling
Front row front porch reclining

Future promising
Rose and candles piling

Harsh pile in
Pack the club stylin

I'm Royal and wildin
WiLDing out now and theN

Now and later and stay again

As the cars lights,
shine into my eyes...

I think of my life,
that I must try to hide..

Of a girl's thoughts,
full of hate and control...

My mind keeps moving,
to find my joy...

A desirable direction,
for love and contentment..

Once was found,
now seems like a dream...

And now I'm lost,
and filled with misery...

So what is the key...
So what is the pain...

Does even God know...
The master plan...

Is it a time for forgivness,
In this cold world so sad...

****,
I'll just take a drink..

In this no mans land...

he was born in the city
he had no home
he no place to turn to
he was on his own
he had no mamma
he had no father
he had no friends
nobody to call on

what was I to do

Can you picture this sad true story
a young child of 13
one without hope
no home sweet home
no happy memories
with only God to wish to
living on the streets

struggling to eat
struggling to sleep
trying to be a man
but still a trembling child inside

and all alone

Can’t this be a fantasy
Caught in a landslide
Why can’t I escape reality

You’ve took my feelings inside
And turned them upside down
As I thought of my life without you

Remember the past
It went so fast
Is this because I loved you

The times I made you cry
Hurt me deep down inside
But do I don’t want to be without you

If I can’t keep you by my side
I can't live my life without you
Your the only thing that matters to me

Didn't mean to make you cry
As i look up to the skies to see
Sending shivers down my spine
My body's aching all the time

I hope it's not to late
To put this past behind

If I pull this trigger I’ll be dead
So love me or just leave me to dead
With these feelings inside

Why do you do this to me
Anyone can see
That nothing else matters to me

Gray days
Night skies
Lonely feelings
Never die
Empty shoes
Wonder why

Unlit sun
Moonless skies
Empty heart
Only solitude
Heavy hand
Thoughtless moments

Rainy days
Foggy nights
Summer sweat
Nothings right
Dispair thoughts
Crushing sights

Pouring rain
Endless nights
Closing eyes
Crushing freight
Spilled blood
Nothing new