on the first day of spring
my mother died

she had always loved flowers
and had turned
our interior hallway
into a luscious greenhouse
   father was not always happy
   about the falling leaves

in her later years
when skiing was no longer hers
she hated winters
   their long nights
   their waning sun

she was always longing
   for spring
waiting for the day
the morning sun lit up
the kitchen desk again
in her parents’ house
where she was born
   and had grown old

the night before
I had called and told her
that here in the south
the first flowers were already
   dotting the gardens

she had smiled on the phone
   almost inaudibly
speaking had become difficult

   maybe her last images
   were of colorful spring meadows

today at 7.10 a.m.
my mother died

spring has come

my eyes
  see yours
when they awake
to face the world

your lips
return my smile
in dreamy moments

your face
looks into mine
from my reflections
in the polished glass

my voice responds
   to yours
in endless dialogue
through time and space

your body's loving warmth
has taken home
deep down within

I have got you
under my skin

* *

will we finally know
what we have always
   wanted to
when our lives end

   long expected
   always too sudden

or will it just be
   once more
the old wisdom

we know little
   and that
at the wrong time

painfully shrouded
   in the presence
      of your absence
I go about my business

it takes me days
   to rebalance
   and to remember  that
the hurt of missing you
is a result
   of your existence  that
the joy of loving you
   will be fulfilled again  that
   the happiness
      will come back

only then
   can my eyes regain
      their smile
at the world

I cross my legs under the Bodhi tree, sitting
in the sanctity of my well afflicted fortune

I splice the moment’s intermittent air
to drink of the jeweled river cascades
electric plush ~ ripened
to taste like lemonade Nirvana,
puckered up with pleasant chills
flowing through crystalline lattice
works to cleanse my mental palette
with a hint of mint placed on an Other-side
be rest assured the crest rolls atop the tide.

A vacant awareness is aroused from within the
sanctity of my sweet surrender ~
My eyes flutter blissful blinks like flirting butterfly’s
flapping wings resounding good vibrations
across the globe where space rebounds with
positive affirmation of the little girl with wet eyes,
smiles wide, an outstretched palm placed firmly
in a mother’s hand, how safely she's returned,
perfectly as planned.

I celebrate this victorious vision inside my skull
with grunting cheer and a third eye sneeze ~
my air fills with a burst of vision mist coating
my recollections piece by piece holistically,
light as a photon beam phasing in for safe landing,
strapped back in my body for leave of meditation.

I rise out from under the Bodhi tree, in my sanctity
of well afflicted fortune and give a thankful bow
for the good outcomes of the day.

Let me rest upon your
shore. The waves have
been dragging me down
lately and beating my body
against the rocks. I won't
deny that i can't take this no
more. Lift my head up from the ocean's cruel waves so i don't
drown. Take me to a better place
like in the story of PeterPan
because this one is making me
frown. Oh darling paint me
a smile if your talented hands
can. Paint me with the colours
you have on your bedroom walls.
Use pretty shades of pink and
green as if i have make up on to
cover my bruised lips and the
scars on these hips. Paint me
close to you with my head
resting upon your shore* ~