I watched you walk away,
Like I was an outsider,
Like I wasn't the one who loved you.
Not once did you look back—
Both of us proud,
Not wanting to break
And speak the words
That would turn everything around.

One stop, one wait,
One foot in front of the other,
Would ease the heaviness
Of watching you walk away.
But here I am,
Stuck, standing still,
The world seamlessly
Going on around me.

Part of me is stuck in the shadow,
Everything moving
From one axis to the next.
Another part of me realizes
That when the earth changes axis
And rotates the other way,
No one really feels it.

And here I am,
Stuck either way.
In time, even dust
Has to move

When it came to her
I had a slender grasp
Though unintentional.
When I think about it.
Deep down it was I rearing
a lack of confidence.
Living up our anonymous
expectation.
Though she was around
My arms would always cross up.
I was righteously liberated.
The perfect punctuation
of how I'd run on mentally,
Constantly around & around.
I wasn't embarrassed.
Revealing which part of her made me tick.
I can tell she didn't expect my answer
But with such a slender grasp,
every second spent with her made me tick.
At least for a little while
Perhaps the most un-thought thought.
Where do we place the batteries when they run out
Or will my arms be crossed up forever
Constantly around & around.
I find that time- such a strange & unusual thing.
Brings focus to things outside of all the crazy
ways arms move.
All in a beautiful destructiveness I can't describe.

I've been lazy.
Listening to one side over and over.
In constant rewind, traveling to a better time.
I realized so much more.
Flipping the tape over.
Following the sound of your voice.
I smiled so much.

It's not that I preferred one side over the other.
Finding error in my mistake.
In truth I thought things would never change.
The world finding convenience.
Music forever changed.
The click of a tape being ejected now shared between us both.
Lazily laying.
The voice in my head singing along with yours.
A long feeling that starts as brief.
Enjoying song after song.
Exclusively living in heaven.
To sit with my headphones and listen to the only tape that reminds me of you.

Our endless conversation.
A fear of the tape jamming.
Since then I've become lazy.
Before and after buying batteries.
In constant fear that any moment the cassette player will eat the tape.
And I'll forever lose your voice

I suppose the best part of it all
Was that I fell out of my shoes.
Where most would be embarrassed.
In a strange twist I felt a calm peace.
I had nothing to hide,
Outside of the fact that I was falling.
Fall fast I did.
The most beautiful of facts, pleasing to the ear drum of desire.
The harmony of her kicking my chair.
Me falling flat against the ground.
A beautiful sound echoes about in memory.
A short in-flight movie of me falling back into one of the biggest smiles I've ever seen.
House shoes flying through the air.
I assume that I wasted too much time.
So she took matters into her own hand.
Well foot at least.
My inspiration

If there is one anything that I could ask you to promise it is this.
Promise me that you will never stop looking.
Explore what ever fascination that excites you most.
Search deep within yourself and explore your hearts imagination.
There is no right thing that makes it wrong or come crashing down.
All the possibilities are endless
Your happiness, your dreams.
I guarantee on your way that you will find a bunch of things that will make your body melt in anticipation.
That out of the blue feeling that makes your heart race for no reason.
That is love, that is life.
That is the vein that stems from all that thrives from your hearts imagination

Then out the blue, she grabbed and held me tight.
I suffocated in a bushel of hair bunched together in  messy bun.
Resting my nose against the top of her head
My nose stood in a wool forest,
Her head buried deep in my chest.
In this moment I realized that words aren't needed for every occasion.
I wrapped my arms around her holding her even tighter.
Nestling her in my arms. 
The metal ball from the ceiling fan clang against the glass from the light fixture.
In proportion to the color of the room the sound brought more comfort.
The repeated clang of metal against glass.
When everything in the house goes quiet and nothing can be heard except for that sound.
Just being yourself in utter silence.
The comforter still wrinkled from where you last sat.
Without question I suppose we both felt like we were home.
In our own little way

I want to build a home with you
a place pieced together of words,
passed from you to me.

Eventually, the walls will breathe,
and they, too, will whisper
through our bones.

No matter how old we get,
they will still be there.

Although neither of us will
completely own this home,
what we will own
is how it makes us feel
and the memories we'll soon sit on
like furniture.

A place we'll come to spend
most of our time,
an inner standing
that it will house both of us,
no matter how we choose
to express ourselves.

The first meal we'll have,
I'll season with my smile
so you can taste what I taste
and feel what I feel
when I see you.

Then you'll understand
why I have nothing to hide,
why I open and include you
in different places in my life.

In this home I want to build with you,
there isn't a wind or a force
that could blow it down.

Even if we were to separate,
my hands will still remember
how we built it
brick by brick,

the mortar sealed
with a kiss from your lips

And when I see you
My heart skips a beat,
Walking out into the middle of the street
Without regard to the cars
darting through the intersection.
Some raising their fingers,
Others intentionally driving faster.

Remembering a time,
Remembering a place that
you were everything I needed.
Everything I could have wanted.

And when I see you
My heart so badly wants to
relive those moments.
Stepping one foot in front of the other.
Dodging near miss
After near miss.
Knowing that deep down
I'll end up getting hit
For not letting go

I'll wait in patience,
Until I see your face,
Until the next time I see you smile.
But I won't rush it
The way I feel.
I love the anticipation,
The way you give me things
To think about.

I'll learn to live through the ache,
I'll learn self-control,
And learn to hold still
Until the next time I see you.
The best stories are told
In pieces.
Not that there's anything wrong
With instant gratification,
Nonetheless,
Waiting allows that time between us
To linger and to grow.

So that the next time I see your face,
I am fully there,
Appreciative of that moment
A kiss that waits in the dark,
Waiting for the light of your lips.
Knowing that a week apart,
This kiss only grows,
Stretched thin, built in
Anticipation.

But I won't rush it.
Every episode is like this,
My favorite show.
If I were to watch all of you now,
Then there wouldn't be anything left.
So I choose to be patient,
My attention solely focused
On you.
Love moves slow,
Although some moments
Move fast.
There is always time to rewatch
And to think
But only after we've taken our time
And lived to do so.
I'll wait patiently
Until the next time I see your face

I took a deep breath.
Following the mystery of a simple smell.
A familiar place taken deep within my lungs.
A perfume light scented but sweet.
She'd dab it around the rounds of her neck.
Twice on her wrists.
The wind spreading her essence to my nose.
Following a glare then a smile.
Just when I thought there was nothing left to share.
She'd bathe in dial antibacterial.
Cleasing her neck of a smell that I remember so vividly.
A perfume light scented but sweet.
The smile and bite of a quivering bottom lip.
Just when I thought that nothing else could be shared.
Someone walked passed with a familiar scent.
Taking me back to a familiar feeling that I only felt when I was around you

A hermit crab
In love with his bongo.
Scuffles on with his bongo beat.
Each thump filling the empty space
Around him.
He walks the hot concrete.
In search of something like home.
His shell dragging behind
Weighing him down.
The thump no longer loud enough
To move its tiny body.
The rhythm barely rattling around its
shell.
After a while everything can turn into a drag.
But still, he scuffles on.
He smiles, stopping to take a break
On the grass.
The concrete burning his feet.
His tiny claws scraping across the bongo.
He looks over to his left.
To find an old boot.
Nodding her head, tapping the ground
Following along to the beat.
Although weathered, she too smiled.
Echoing back his loud thuds.
Her sole cracked but full of life.
Life happens in the strangest way sometimes.
Two outcasts alone.
Drumming up stories without a word.
Scuffling on a bongo heart.
Life doesn't have to be a drag all the time.

I've dreamed of you
Eyes dressed in desire.
Above your head a halo.
Metallic and bronze.
Uniquely dressed.
A pair of wings from your back.
When I dream of you,
I dream standing up.
The sun envious of the warmth your cheek provides
The side of my face against yours.
Together we sore.
We sore through this vision where I have no fear of falling.
Knowing that if I should fall
You'd catch me before I hit the ground.
Your voice soft
Comforting me through the heights we ascend.
Our hands but a kiss away from heaven.
I've dreamed of you
Eyes dressed in desire.
With wings in mid flight
Our hands in one another.
You lift my spirits with the simplest of smiles.
Followed by the blessing of your presence

So I wrote to myself.
It's not that I didn't have anyone else to write or vice versa.
What conveys is a generosity of deep truth found with over 1,000 jokes printed on the cover.
Truth be told it's actually more than that.
I am not exactly what you would call a handsome man, but you'd be surprised how much you cross someones mind when they are in need.
So I wrote to myself.
An embodiment that grew legs of it's own.
Kind of like missing out on something that's been in front of you the whole time.
The irony of free will.
A change of scenery, a fresh coat of paint.
It's like nothing ever happened.
I guess that's the inside joke of another day

My face lit up so bright when I saw my notifications.
I am not ashamed to admit how excited I was.
Definitely worth the wait.
The music chiming a song that reminds me of you.
That absolute feel good song you hope plays in anticipation.
The wait of reply.
Rewinding the moments back to when I first heard my notification go off again and again.
You really know how to reach into me and pull out the biggest kid.
Driving myself insane waiting on my phone to chime in.
No one else in my contact list has your ability.
No one else could have the ringtone I set just for you.
On the lowest setting of screen brightness, you fill my screen with all shades of hue.
Sometimes I think it's weird.
Hearing the highs and lows of your voice over text.
Our extreme use of emojis.
Searching for the comfort of each others voice when we can't fall asleep.
Although distance seperates.
I can safely say.
That you've truly made my phone a life line

I slept to wake with open ears.
Let alone, following a certain feeling that led me to believe that I was missing,
To walk a path that led to what I figured I'd treasure most.
A slow walk to me, to you.
Missing the hint that given enough time, all things change.
Learning to open the bright red door without looking back to whom I once was.
Continuing to walk forward with the hint I was missing something.
I convinced myself that I too was a reflection.
That not all footprints are forgotten.
The threshold of a long lasting impression.
Positioned under a wooden frame.
Bulging hinge.
The twist of a ****.
I sort of imagined that it would always be like this.
That self realization where I'd no longer feel I'd fit.
The hinge of an closed door,
That feeling that something or someone is missing.
The perception that time is always on your side.
The sting of a slammed door, sleeping only to wake with a sudden rise.
Left behind in that odd space found between each second.
Pacing back and forth.
Realizing
The amount of time it takes to unlock physical freedom.
When actuality.
I was the door that stood between myself and what I desired most.
A slow walk to me, to you.
With a helping hand, not all impressions are forgotten.
The blank creaking expression of doors and the ones we love

Although ugly,
Something beautiful happens.
The air suddenly gets thick.
Your hand ***** up and flies
up to your mouth.
Lungs ache, just as we do.
They cling to breath as if
It's the last thing they have.
I cough, and my whole body heaves.
Just like you when I am behind you
My eyes tighten, and after a moment,
It's over.

A wet kiss turned inside out,
Bottled up and forced out.
An act of surrender,
Forced out in urgency.
A noise that signals sickness,
But at the same time
Searches for a fresh breath.
At times, a cough can be sickening,
Sometimes nasty.
But when everything rattles loose,
And that ache is gone.
Sometimes,
That's the best kind of love

It's hard.
This feeling that easily becomes cozy.
The possibility of being shown something new.
The introduction of new words, new emotions.
Soon to discover fear of loss.
This possibility that brings to life an life altering halt
Before anything major has happened.
A social construct that thrives on reciprocation.
Slouched across the couch.
Found in sudden hesitation.
Wanting to move, but not wanting to lose that comfortable feeling.
The thought of having to find that spot all over again.
It's accumulation of warmth.
Everything that went into finding the good news
Then realizing that you have no one to tell it too.
Or even worse.
Realizing that the remote is on the other side of the room.

I hated knowing the fact that she was absent.
Missing the feel of her caress.
The arms that slipped over mine as comfortable as a jacket.

It was therapeutic in a sense.
The warmth that accompanied a simple smile spread across my face.
Knowing that she was there.
It wasn't as easy as going to the store.
Constantly trying on jackets looking for the right fit,
Paying no never mind to the tags that read different sizes.

The 2x's. 1x's. Sometimes disused as the wrong size.
No matter the store, there would never be another her.
I hated imagining the chime that would sing from under the mat when one foot hit the right spot walking into the store.
The awkward look passed from one customer to the other, the hassle of standing in line.
No, this was far from comfortable.
The ease of having what you need unexpectedly given to you, all of a sudden taken away.
The seams of her arms tailored around mine.
Snug against my back, her head as the collar laid against my neck, my chest.

What I needed was her, without her nothing felt right

You are the land which soaks
The crumbs I've longed to eat.
My mouth can only open so wide,
Though nothing truly keeps us apart.
To know you means to die
And I've known you for years.
Where the water stops
We'll always be.
I've tasted your moistened crumbs
& here is where we'll always be.
Whose to say that you cannot
Swim where I've learned to walk
Whose to say that I cannot
Walk where you've learned to swim
Soon I'll be part of the crumbs
I've watched you eat
Soon, where the water stops
We'll always be

When I first saw her I wondered the reason for her stare.
Nothing out of the ordinary but after a while you know, self conscious thoughts kick in.
Is there something on my shirt, does she notice how big my head really is.
Do I have a ****** that popped out to say hi.
Standing at the front door of hello and what the hell,
At this point I don't know if I waved to ease my comfort or hers.
My first impression was that she was tore down, the after effect of an avid pill popper, far too gone to realize how tore up she was. Xannies, Bars, Rolls
coming down from a pharmaceutical high
Kind of slumped over, standing there.
Lips quivering a muffled sound.
An impediment of sorts collecting her words as they spilled on the ground.
I walked over asking if everything was alright, I mean after all I couldn't just leave her there fumbling about.
Then out of nowhere I heard everything I couldn't hear before
Every word lunging at me making it perfectly clear that she wasn't living in her head nor was she just standing there integrating herself, eyes rolled to the back of her head.
In retrospect, I should have paid more attention to the lack of arm she was missing.
**** zombie

I disciplined myself in her.
Humbling myself in her mold.
First my body then my soul.
Painting myself with her skin.
She scribbled her name across me.
Using her finger as a pencil, gently scribbling.
I don't want to sound crazy. But I thought she was suppose to be
the object of my affection not the other way around.
I love how she does that

And I thought for a moment.
With all the anxiety that goes on in the world.
Lay with me for a moment so that we'll both know all that ills.
The insecurities we dress ourselves with that reveal only what we want to show.
Soon remembered when were all alone.
For what you truly define as a moment without rush.
Fill a void that isn't easily removed without first knowing a strangers name.
That ensues unanswered phones and a loss track of time.
The beginning of fear, the turmoil of new habit.
Step into the unknown.
Meaning total comfort in your own skin without a means of being judged.
A spontaneous eruption of minutes that burst into hours, oozed into the rhyme of songs played on repeat
Until we forget entirely what it was that we were planning on doing next.
And I thought for a moment.
This is complete and utterly insane.
Moving from the bed to the floor.
Finding what's been on the edge of our fingertips this whole time

In my mind we were but two halves.
Seeking nothing but the comfort of each other.
Without need for clothes we wore each other In the tightest embrace.
The simplest of things shared between us two.
No matter how much we tossed backward and forward
we remained together.
Discerned in ultimate truth, we sat still while everything else became
turbulent.
Tilting us backward and forward not once did any of us falter.
In my mind I loved her just as much as I loved myself.
Why shouldn't we be considered a whole.
Engulfing myself in her embrace as we sat.
Wrapping my arms around her jagged edges, protecting her just as she protected me.
Legs laid across my lap.
In the morning I'd kiss her forehead and welcome her further into my arms.
Grabbing her, pulling her tighter until you couldn't tell which one of us was which.

I hunger for your hands
Substituting what happens between them in living memory.
The intimacy of being that close.
Simplifying fragility.
It's natural that they'd become curious. Roaming about until they themselves feel comfortable.
That feeling in the center of your chest that makes you feel that you can do anything.
In A place of this size.
I long to be lost in the grasp of somewhere comfortable.
To wake up and see you exposed in a calm hush
Falling back asleep in complete comfort

In the depth of her eye there is a city that begs to be explored.
A spark of curiosity hidden beneath the patter of millions of feet.

The journey of how one step, leads into a million thoughts.
Each person a developing personality all of her own.
Time has no meaning here.
There is no swiftness, no haste where anyone has a deadline to meet.
A specific place to be.

The pounding of feet hitting the pavement.

The sound of her heart.

With lips soft and gentle.

It goes unseen.

This city that hides in the spark of her eye.

This gleam of  light flickering in the skyline.

The view is just amazing.

There is never a wrong time to come out and enjoy the view.

The people here are amazing.

They always welcome me with a warm smile and a place to sit.

A metropolis full of fashion, living and breathing.

What I love most.

Is that I always feel like I am at home.

Whenever I stop by for a visit

I moved right into the apartment of your heart.
Making myself comfortable awaiting your embrace.
Helping you find a new hair style you can slay.
Black love, sweat pants.
Ponytails. Hot wings. A movie that supports how good we go together.
The revolution my heart makes.
You orbiting the center of my arms.
That conscious love that reveals how important you are to me.
Giving you the last slice of everything that is me.
Your eyes, your smile.
The holy trinity

In her heart just beneath her skin lays a tin pitcher.
The spout along with it's sides covered with frost from the coldest of water.
Parched lips long for a drink.
But without cup or glass.

I implore that I have swallowed fear of the utmost; Diving in head first.

A slow sip that eases the insecurity of rejection.

Another sip that interjects that you could be everything that I need.

One more to ensure that  I would gladly drown to be loved by you

I've lost my moon somewhere
in the crevass of my pocket.
I realized only when I looked up
Feeling that something wasn't right.
I reached my hand in my pocket,
Finding my keys, my wallet,
Everything but you.

I've lost my moon somewhere
in the crevass of my pocket.
My fingers roaming through lint stars
& loose string galaxies.
I lost my moon checking every pocket
on my jeans.
The lint stars all out of orbit.
I reached my hand in my pocket.
Finding my keys, my wallet,
everything but you

The only thing that makes my night
that much brighter

I've lived in your heart for three years.
My payments were always before time.
If I made too much noise I assure you I didn't know.
My foot steps are often loud, the neighbor beside me keeps his music up.
I never filed a complaint.
Accepting things as they are.
Outside of that nothing seemed to be wrong.
The conditions weren't bad at first.
Everything worked.
The sink clogged a bit.The locks need to be replaced.
The things of which I done myself.
I felt home here in my one bedroom.
Not too much company so no need for much furniture.
There were nights I couldn't feed myself,
making sure your demands were met.
Differences between needs and wants.
Still I received note after note about noise among other things.
Things accused of though disputed.
You smiled in my face and told me all was forgiven.
To receive a note of eviction.
The neighbors music still loud.
My landlord unable to be found.
Someone new moving into my place

Yesterday I found a seed and theres no better place to plant it
Than in your heart.
I acknowledge that you've heard promise after promise.
And as time steadfast, these empty promises have become the reason it never rains.
The soil around your heart has turned cold and has become hard.
With more doubt comes unease.
And with more unease comes a reason to lash out and suffocate all the beauty
that surrounds within.
This at all is not the case.
For the neglect of a beautiful flower should never be in vain.
For the true crime committed is those who walk by afraid to be who they really are.
Sometimes it's hard to see the forest for the trees.
You my beautiful queen are more elegant.
More beautiful than you can imagine.
For the thorns that grow along your stem are only a means to protect.
Not to be taken as a defect that takes away from how special you truly are.
A neglected rose can only continue to wither without everything needed to grow.
But until you can look and see the beauty within, everything around you will continue to be dark.
All I ask, is for you not to believe everything you see.
That in time, among the crowd.
Someone will stop and admire all the beauty you possess.
But until you yourself can see all the beauty you have.
You will continue to live in self doubt and suffocate everything around you.
Let yourself grow

Almost every day.
Hold your hand close to me.
Post me against the wall and stick pins on all four corners.
Explain whats happening in vivid emotion.
If I've ****** you off black out my eyes.
If you've stored me in your heart cover the space behind me blood red.
There is no need to question the value of if what you feel is real.
Slide my face across bright light in means to cover my face in fashion.
In a variety of back drops and shade.
Smear my face in distorted emotion.
A synthetic hue vibrant and wild.
Color my hair yellow then blue.
Do as you wish.
But by all means don't leave my picture the way it is

Happiness consists of effort.
It doesn't have to be perfect to be a token of appreciation.
Steadily available to be itself.
No matter how weird or silly things can get.
During these times we are tested with the vanity of our self.
Finding it much easier to walk away from a simple misconception.
It is important not to get caught up in the reflection we see.
For then we become unappreciative of the blessings around us.
Not recognizing ourself in the same image we perceive as happiness.
With a single view that things are only as bad as we allow.
Not realizing the depth of which when and how we fall.
Confusing the physical with a mental permission that effort alone is not enough.
In a combined effort of feeling whole.
The perception of how we see the ones we love becomes their world as well as our world entirely
And their expression alone is priceless

Good gawd O' lawd
I can't hide it.

Suppose to be doing other things.
Here she go again
Showing her face.

She packed her bags.
Left before the door could close.
Left fa' anotha man.

Lawd A mercy
Here she is again.
Showing her face.

I can't hide it lawd.
Catching the door fo' it close.
Suppose to be doing other things.

Find these old receipts.
Piece my heart here and there.
Good lawd I hid it from ma' self

She claimin' she leavin'
Come back wondering round
Showing her face.
Lawd A mercy

Left before the door could close
Left fa' anotha man
Lawd A mercy
Here she go again

Here I go again
Catching the door fo' it close.

I am the ring around your finger
No matter how much time will pass.
I will always remain.
A vow of trust that cements verbal thought.
A dream come true left imprinted on your finger.
To share truth.
The thoughts we both speak into existence.
I am the ring that reinforces the core from which you and I grow.
The diamond that forms through the pressure of dark times.
I am the band that continuously loops around your finger.
The promise of everlasting.
Through the good, through the bad.
The strength that nourishes us when we are weak.
The different parts of us we continue to meet.
This ring a symbol of how far we've come.
How far we've yet to go

One thing that truly changes
No matter how I cut my hair
Or the kind of clothes I put on.
When I look in the mirror I am
still me.

Not very often do second chances
come around.
How often do things change
No matter if I trim my beard
Or let myself go and my belly
hangs over my belt.

One thing that truly changes
How quick you threw your clothes on
& left me with conversations we'll
never have again.

When I look in the mirror
I am still me
When I step outside I am still me
One thing that never changes

Sometimes something as simple as a look can hurt us.
It's so easy to get caught up in a moment of temporary happiness.
The truth seems so far from the place we'd rather be.
Eventually we become blinded by that
Which we know will eventually hurt us.
When in reality, what we truly want
Is for someone to hold our hand &
Tell us that everything will be alright.
It breaks our heart and tears us apart,
Something so simple as a look.
We allow ourselves to hear and see what we want,
But when that split second is gone
& there is no one else around to help
Us from finally glancing in that direction.
Something so simple as a look hurts us
More than we could ever imagine.
We never realize that we deserve more
Than we allow ourselves to have until we have no choice to let go and accept
What we can no longer see

The next time we meet, I may be someone else.
 
Extra thick, light in weight.
Resourced to fit purpose.
 
The next time we meet,
I may be a splint. Easy to light.
The next time we meet.
Would silence truly do us justice.
Learning to cope before given reason.
 
Rounded off at the top, rough patterns felt between us both.
A spark that ignites the scrape of when I fell for you.
 
We stood there because we knew how we felt, we never truly understood.
Collecting ourselves in abrupt fire. Only a fool would stand to wither completely.
 
What else did we truly know but to extinguish ourselves in the same abrupt manner.
Breathing in each others essence. Stained in soot.
 
We lived in sulfur, sliming down in the same instance.
 Lighting myself before becoming contagious.
I thought this way because it was all I'd ever know

Sometimes you don't need much
Sometimes it can feel like the beginning
Of a new life.
The start of a new moment
Legs wrapped around each other
Beneath off white sheets.
When the world makes it feel like
You haven't accomplished much.
Sometimes the smallest thing
Feels like a dream come true.
When she stretches her arm across
Me.
I start to remember all things
Precious.
My weighed blanket warm & at rest.
Her chest raising and falling against my arm.
Of all the rooms in the world, there's
only one that truly exists.
And it exists when I kiss her forehead when she's sleep.
Her arms wrapped around me
Tight & snug
Sometimes it's moments like this
When one person can make you
Remember how important the small
Things are.
The difference one room can make

I am crushing on you.
Constantly looking for the next time I see you.
Genuinely gathering the butterflies without further notice.
Curiously fluttering.
Stopping to rest but a moment.
Comfortably anxious.
Revealing jitters at the most intimate time.
At the slightest touch, noticing how fast time actually flies.
Bypassing the excitement of having you here.
The way you switch when you walk.
The way your voice gets lower easing into comfort.
The subtle gestures that come naturally.
Our lips in pause, hearts racing to catch up.
A coke drips in condensation.
Rolling faster down the side.
Refusing to slow down.
Sipped slow, quenching thirst.
Crushing the can in satisfaction.
On a day like today water won't do.
I need something stronger.
Something sweeter.
Coke bottle shaped and a smile.
I need you

I dwelt in thought.
Reminiscing on the way that she made me feel.
Gradually I moved into her.
Packing light, reassuring that I'd bring the biggest piece of me.
She welcomed me with open arms. Extending a hand, she made room just below her heart.
I left my bag a few inches from her feet. Not wanting to overload her with excess.
She insisted, grabbing my bag with ease.
This was better than any trip I'd ever taken.
Falling in love at first sight. Staring out of the window in my room.
I kissed her once to ensure that what I felt wasn't a dream.
I kissed her again for ever doubting.
My whole inside blushed red.
I hesitated often, not wanting to become a burden in a place that felt like home.
In regards to table manner, we took our plates from one room to the next.
Emptying ourselves on empty plates.
The flutter of racing hearts, the comfort of vibrant linen.
Warm colors layered across one another.
Totally aware that I could be myself. Sleep was nowhere to be found.
Spending the rest of our time up, she gave me a key to ensure that I'd always have a place in her heart.
I gave it back, reassuring that I'd never leave

Most people avoid her because of her heart.
One minute she is caring, the next she is overbearing.
The next she pours her heart the next she takes it all back and remains silent.
Too many mood swings, too many off brand medicines.
This was the reason that most people would avoid her.
Catching an aliment of her own,
The amount of hurt that she keep to herself without knowing how to release.
Finding various labels to print on her forehead.
Printing sticker on-top of sticker.
Marking her down for quick sale.
Some stickers faded. Others stuck from a different sales reel.
Manifests long forgot about.
Pushed back farther and further back on the shelf.
Negligence from those whom always marked that she was there without actually pulling her forward.
To ensure that she was alright, to knock the dust from her bottle.
To encourage her to move her to the front of the shelf.
She preferred to be alone for this same reason.
Most notably hid in the dark far from the edge of the shelf.
Out of sight out of mind, Content in her own little word.
Where no-one could poke or pry, to make her feel uncomfortable about being herself.
Her lid air tight when in reality all she wanted was to give herself.
Finding a fear of searching hands whom picked over and put others before her.
She'd sit at the back of the shelf where she was perfectly content until the day she could give all of herself.
Not realizing that she pushed those away that truly cared about her in the process.
The only prescription that could heal the sick and remove the ache of weary bones.
A weary heart, more than a handful of reckless thoughts.
She was a beautiful soul in a pharmacy full of sick physicians

When asked, I replied I have a secret if your dying to know.
With enough anticipation I tore nail from wood.
A secret not so much, housed comfortably in a place that no one goes.
Some of the wood dry-rotted, nails now rust.
It still took some prying.
Uncovering a unhinged door in perfect dark.
Nails and wood covering the ground.
When asked what was in there I replied my heart.
Her eyes immediately searched the dark.
Still nothing could be found.
When asked again, I told her that if she looked in the mirror she'd see a clear reflection of it

In the topic of magazines.
I sat on the cover, close to the reflection of her eyes.
Relaxed in the greeting of open arms.

She paused, sitting upright. 
The gap between us now closer.
Allowing the invitation of smiles.
Our upright becoming a corner staple in the edge of anticipation.

We both sat.

Allowing ourselves to do what came natural.
My reflection seen clear in the middle of her eyes.
Her personality pasted all around me.

No currency was exchanged in the beauty of two souls flipping to page 42.
Reading the full article.
Taking our time not to wrinkle the pages.
Moving from the cover to emotional commitment.
The exchange of excitement
Where she was free to be herself just as I.

Ideally, I reread every paragraph.
Falling in love with everything represented to be pharmaceutical to deep need.
Constantly reading then rereading the same passages over and over.
Hiding myself behind the cover.
Wanting to know more

It's relatively a slow process.
A thought builds upon anticipation.
Thanks to the nostalgia ingrained by Disney.
Musically the songs are different.
Granted the press of a thumb.
Spotify, Pandora.
An assortment of different streams all profoundly deep.
Separately, the adaptation is the same.
Boy meets girl.
Eyes go on vacation.
Suddenly we're dressed in leisure.
Beautiful sights ingested by the brochures of a hotel lobby.
Just yesterday none of this seemed possible.
Everything crowed into the bends of a folded booklet.
Lost in the sensation of influential taste.
This was my outlook.
A yesterday morning spent in the hotel lobby of my own interest.
I am in sense booking my own fear.
This slow process that begins it's advance.
A millennium that begins a couple seconds past twelve.
She was the art visually spread across the brochure.
With arms wide open I fell in.
Speeding up this process ever slightly.
I still a consumer at best.
Her being the best vacation I ever been.
I am in sense booking my own fear.
Her love.
Further more exploring the secret of her parenthesis

Though my appetite is full
I still hunger, though not in the hopes of not becoming
a gluten,
Though your time is all I could ask.
I still find myself selfish, learning to preserve this taste.
For your attention.
A meaningful conversation that reveals all, spoken or non spoken.
Not at all stating that I would find my fill else where.
This craving that exists even while your near.
Often times I find restraint in thought, allowing you to be yourself
not cluttered every moment of the day.
More so it's the emphases I express in times of deep need.
This hunger that wallows within longing to be fed.
I am capable of this manifestation of thought.
But without you, I am simply lost in hunger.
Hoping you'd empathize

And just like Summer.
Your love warm and hot- like steam.
Coffee best serves two

A leaf blew downtown
Amongst hands pages flew
Floating about a clean breeze

I love you because my heart is lighter walking by you.
I love you because no matter the world I could never see you outside the light I see you now.
Not because of the times things seemed good to be true.
Or the *** or the willingness to drop everything and come to me.
I love you because of the effort.
Not because it feels like something your supposed to say.
The times we strayed in complete darkness.
I love you because you could have walked away a million times.
And I know I've pushed you there a  considerable number of times.
I love you a million times more for each millionth time I thought you were gone.
I love you because you bring out the best in me.
You show me the world in a honest way.
Sometimes I may not understand it.
Question after question, my heart telling me to stop second guessing.
This walk becoming longer and longer.
I love you for encouraging me to be better.
I love you because you handle every situation in the weirdest way possible.
In the deepest part of my heart.
I believe you already know that.
Free to walk, free to think.
All without paying attention to where we're walking.
I love walking beside you

And there I was.
Another American lost on the road.
The traffic slowed to the bare minimum.
Slim to none at the barricade of an orange and black detour sign.
Upon turning I lost signal to my phone.
The social climb of bars dropping to a small X.
It's crazy how something so convenient could be detoured so easily.
The distractions that occur along the way.
A straight path with a few twists and turns.
Without the beam of flashing lights and signs.
I wouldn't have found a new way home.
Unless I knew someone that stayed down this street I would never have turned.
A more scenic, peace devoted route without the distractions of answering the phone or adjusting the radio.
The temporary fix of building home else where, in someone elses arms.
The corridor of ears.
Relying on the siding of someone's voice to house what is thought to roof all of me.
Switching lanes, finding the right material

When I made it to work,
I thought about you
getting through the day,
pushing time forward
until it was finally time to go.
I had no idea what I wanted to eat
until the thought of splitting you open,
watching you sit in the depth of my fork,
did it for me.
A scoop of fried rice,
mixed with gravy
there is something so satisfying
about that first bite,
about savoring the moment,
readying the next forkful.
There’s nothing wrong
with wanting something
that wants you back.

If I spill any part of you
on my clothes,
on my hand,
on the table
I still want you.
I will still have you.

There’s nothing wrong
with burgers, burritos,
or any of the other places I pass.
But in this very moment,
the way these eggs, bean sprouts,
and green onions wrap around my tongue
nothing else compares.
Pressing my fork into your crisp edges,
watching the steam rise
I, um,
should’ve ordered extra