Prisoner of debt
Inmate with ghosts
Talking aloud from  boredom
Only for myself to be his guest.
A lost bet
Days added.
Where is my payroll?
So I can seek out my best of days?
Smothered by stale air
Choking from lack of assets
I am the actor in this play
Trust seems to always be the factor.
It's all an insane glee
as you hear those "paid back"
Sing to "win back"
Their empty days.
Honor spent to agree to this sentence
After years of such
I need this intermission
To enjoy it's fruits at the snack bar
It's all cheers to this "system"
"Hail To the pay-or."

I've developed a disease.
The disease of needing you.
Now, this "cure has come too late."
I'm a wreck inside.
Although I look great and smile outside.
I hide the tears that I've cried
Through my hardened and useless pride.
You tried to hide the wounds that you have caused.
You have tried to clean the blood you've spilt from my veins.
I sought the right soldiers and they have seen the stains.
They beat you. With me. In this battle.
Now, you shall remain locked away in your own shame.
There are no exits for you.
After what you did to me...
What will **** you is your blame.
Tortures you.
A justitified sentence.
Now stare out your prison..see that fence.
I'll be standing their. Physically and Mentally..
To taunt you to quicken the death.
Of your kind that took my innocense...so long ago.
Let liberty shine and glow.

The soul is an energy made up of many colors.
Red,white,yellow,blue, and black.
The powers of such are measurable powers shaking the world....
Moving Lives.... Fleeting in dreams of valor.

Limitations are only made as we allow them to.
Lift away the walls and your astral plane becomes larger than the Earth.
More Powerful Than the sun....
Some powers go past physical life......
They allow us to remain "fun."

Close those eyes. Tap into your being.
Lift up weights...
Fly out of body past limits of physical feeling.

Communicate with history.
Talk with the future.
Start a fire with this energy....
Seal the deal of success like a suture.

For one's mind is not just an invention..the inventor...or the Creator..
It is a weapon.
Devastates the lands with rage...Kills love with jealousy...
Builds radio waves linking one to another...
More important..... Chakras are never to be taken as a joke, loosely.
For they are as deadly as a gun and gentle as a feather.
They can bend matter and even change the weather.

Even past death, one still lives on..
In the "Soulful Energy" it revolves into another life.
An older being to a newer, such.
Person,place,or thing is more powerful...
Than the Mind's energies....oh so marvelous a power.
Use your energies well. Wisely..Selflessly..
For your future's garden  is defined by the use you place
your willful energies to..
A rest stop..a garden place... marking the actions where you shall plant  your "psychic" flowers.

Broadcasting signals across distant shores
Not a signal is received
As the tears of lonely echoes turn into damaging rains
Blood lost to life's razor
empty pain - they always seem to pour
from my broken up soul lost to debts and becoming a controlled puppet
to a failed system
where one stays sick and poor
as the rich and insane are in control...
World War Three breaks out due to their ill-faded actions
Another "over-bought" idea purchased by followers believing in an already broke faction.
Where do us invisible souls go?
Where greed, shallow lust, and non-trustful "social leaders"
fail to trust in those of us who have justly earned our right to be by their side?
Lady Justice was once blind. Now she sees in only red,green, and through sunglasses designed  by the rich and famous.
Those of us who do not "stand out" for her now blind reasoning fail due to not being of what she now wants us to be...
As us "puppets" of the wealthy and blind control her and us
as we bleed to death by their powers of insanity
We are forced to silence as our "freedom of speech" is now dubbed "crude" profanity.

Time Flies By
You are the Bird on a Wing.
Flying with your Flock
As you fly
You sing

High above the clouds you soar...
such a great feeling
Than being grounded  before.

Nothing to hold you back
Fearless like an Eagle

You are the "RainBird"
with the winds of strength to guide your attack.

We are all rare paintings

Hanging in a gallery of the world

Abstract

Surreal

Technical

Many more designs of magical

Forced of genetics

Which created our images

A painter with a passion

Our bloodline maps the idea

As the bond of our family ignites

The design we all are seen on

A tapestry made of life and its forever living force

Judges cannot give the prize to any

Just one

As we all have a story within the vision

Of the art that we all are.

Share a smile and invite others to the gallery

As you are a bright message

Waiting to teach its knowledge

To the world

Of the worlds libraria

A valuable asset to the force that moves the Earth

A Solomon truth that marks history.

A book opened with well scripted passages.

Welcome to the “real world history.”

As souls originated well before the Earth.

Now splendor lights our way

Out of our mother’s womb

As we are born changing yet another day

A voice was a gift
Placed into the Human Physiology
For one being to express one's self to another.
Song, speeches, and scripts acted.... ohh the lift!
Up into a new rush.
Better than drugs, liquors, and...."hush."
I'd hate to ruin a great feeling.
To hear your voice
I am like "marry poppins" and her Uncle.
When laughter strikes us as we laugh glued to our ceilings.
"Ohh....to find you. Just to be near you.
"Peter pan" believes
"I, more than fairy tales"
True belief. I flew through skies of color.
At just one thought of being with "that one....no more than us two!"
Truth is spoken here.
If you chose not to hear, how can you truly understand?
A true heart that beats.
More than a moment of a sensual "druglike rush"
This lone man does test waters, holds back, and remembers how he stands.
Tall, proud, and here for the one.
If she would take the chance and choose to deeply
"Believe."
That I am unlike "all the rest."
As you can fly like me and "tinker bell "
And good old "young and our true pal Peter Pan"
Flying upon angel's wings
"Just say those words to the response to a question of a loving man"
Words speak.
Louder than actions.
Just at the end of the sound of your voice...
I'll fly to you, in true heart, as fast as I truly can.

I awoke this morning

to  the feeling of being  reborn.

Opening eyes to true beauty

Instead of drowning in fear  and remaining a heart that’s torn.

Shining rays of promise

that reflect from my newer beliefs in my newly found strengths

People greet the new me as the see one who warms their days

with the light that is true selflessness.

Hope in hearts that seek better ways

Strength in numbers of those who walk together

on healthier pathways..

From broken to whole

Out with the useless  Sorrows and then  refilled with  great Hope

We achieve great things when we have a clearer view….

We no longer have to question and magnify the unknown underneath

a distorted view in a microscope.  

Breaking free from the limited boundaries of our fears and misunderstandings..

We become open to the limitless lands of promise, brighter ways,and the truer bravery

Brighter futures are our newly found destinations..

Love and Victory Shall come in time…To those enlightened in warmer standings.



From this newer and clearer view

The world becomes a better place

As we rebuild it with materials that were made by the reclaimed strengths that were always inside of you.

Nothing lasts forever.
Except for the human soul.
The biggest damage
To anyone
It's this energy, inside it, that takes the biggest toll.
After all that has been said and all that shall be done
Remember that a battery needs a positive terminal
Not just the Negative
Terminal to ride the electric rail
to a recharged future.

Add some deep and blue skies 

A dash of lonely teardrops 

And some lost souls
Mix in a little hope

And the mix becomes
healthy smiles
Out with the old

And in with the new

Removes the tarnish off the moldings

And brings forth a brand-new you
Erase the doubt

And clear the cluttered memories

These Are the recipes to a great legend 
in future sceneries

Red,White,Blue and you.
We survived much Choas and Pain
We have enjoyed Victories and Many Times..
We enjoyed the Perks of Our Gains.
We cheer the flag and it's waving Glory
Dating back to 1776
We owe our lives to those who fought to send England
Back home.
We have a great army
Souls who have dedicated themselves to fight and to die for this beautiful country
Many want in
They tried the wrong routes..
We pushed them back to protect those legit needing entry for a better life

The leader prevented such worthy people from being left out..
Our great President has corrected many wrongs and filled the spot
as "Chief and Man in Charge"
With more feeling and selfless actions
Kept to all his election promises
and Brought America back to greatness and to Brighter Beauty.
with all of our allied Factions and Nations.

Another beautiful year
Promises the young to become our future and great
parts of the cogs and gears that help
this "Great Machine" Drives On, Flawlessly.
United, we stand and together we fall.
A nation bounded by Great Hearts, Hard Working Men and Women
and Souls wishing for our Freedom and Democracy
to Last into the future and into Eternity.

Words flow from this pounding heart.
Vultures take from my Soul
Like 1,000 Dementors  demanding their Tolls
To be collected for riding their
Soul Train
Paying Up
I feel like I'm starting to grow insane
Harpies lecture me on how Happiness can be used like *****
They tell you to feel "Half of the sad"
To balance and create the soul's Equilibrium.
Laughing in their old and lack of street educated faces...
I lean in my seat, proudly, "I've earned my scars"
"I've traveled these roads.."
Like "Frogger" and "His Game"
I've paid the prices for everyday trifles...
"With stronger powers than you..."
"I deserve to intoxicate myself in these "odes..."
Of "The Drug you call Happiness.."
So educate that "Dimwitted Someone"
"Who doesn't know as much as I "
"Or has no hands-on training."
"On life's battlefields."
For "I've been drafted many times"
"Sit. Let me teach you, teachers.."
"Experience sometimes deserves trust.."
"moments of enjoyment for the ease of weight.."
"For you, teachers, have become 'the students'
who I am about to re-educate."

Under the microscope
you are the bacteria
under study to make sure it's 100% perfection.
The teacher throws your Human remains through the meat grinder
Inspecting every molecule which makes up your soul
As there is no room for any ,however, other than those deemed
"a minder."
You are a puppet on strings
You must obey every tug on the strings
as being the "Black Sheep"
Never has any light from which becoming such a "new puppet" brings.
You must walk their walk
Do not show any human instincts
One false move
You are the smashed insect that has now gone on the lists of the extinct.
Talk their talk.... Be their idea of "pure.."
Better drink your Holy Water
As the hounds follow and investigate exactly where you are and where you have been.
There are no exceptions to the rules to making no mistakes
for it is your soul's light
That shall be burnt on the stake
If you show what "weaknesses" the masses wish to expel from your natural Human will
Better beg for your ability to have acceptance from "the socially pure actors"
as it shall be the loss of care and heart's light that shall place darkness upon you
as your remaining life and blood begins to spill.

I am on a survival mission.
Fighting all of the fears, lone hours, and jumping those "hurdles"
In this race to "beat the rougher odds,"
Winning the respect of others whom I look up too..
Earning a family of my own and Beating the Darkness' messages
To bring myself down.
To let myself go.
To give up on love.
To stop trusting other souls...
As tempted as I have been to listen, my light in my heart is too strong to listen and act upon such "lies."
Time does make one stronger.
As well as it can Scar one's soul.
Life is a balancing beam.
As long as you weigh the load out right
You shall never fall.
You shall remain standing.

Remembrance and photo albums.
Such items open up portals, to other souls, through time and space.
The moment where you were left there in a photo frame...
Is the place, where your heart recalls, that warm feeling of that time and embrace.
Family.
Lovers.
Past friends and newer foes....
Only the experience through these ages can one define us from those average joeys.
In the fields of hard times and the blackouts due to the Hysteria of Joy to Successes..
Opening up to a photo in an album can be the only force to make the one opening such, to "Confess.."
To one soul wishing to relive
The event and time that only the gift that a photo can give....
Helps us embrace and honor those we lost.
Understand our part in situations...
To understand how to comfort and honor one's strength during a loss.
The Photo in that photo album closes the portal to memories and "Astral Planes" in which we relive.
Moments in time. The gift that only  a photo in the photo album, such miracle of gifts, that only such portals in one's history can "sketches in history" give.

"Respect Your Time"
Respect…the gift of “time.”

Ignoring such a warning and wasting such….

Moments that are measured and utilized with a purpose can help you climb…

Up life’s ladder to the brighter side…

Lower will you be struck down too

As those wishing to break you down..

You became to complacent.

Then, you fear that time will keep

you from wearing your legacy crown.

Be one step ahead.

Still living in today…

Completing the magic of hope…

You shall always be strong and bright enough

to evade Depression’s Rope.

Every night I feel the cold breeze

Being alone, in the quiet, with memories replaying..

An energy that almost downs me to my knees.

Days are filled trying to find another way

In which to be able to finish what I had started

Finding the other hidden heart

To complete this unfinished soul.

I work my creative magic…

The emptiness starts to chew at my imagination

Shards of dread, doubt, and question stab my being like swords

A moment quiet and tragic.

When will these wheels that hold me in the place I’m at

Finally break free from the quicksands of limit and invisibility

Enabling the launch of my message, soul, and ventures

To newer heights of lighted up Electric Visual abilities?

Teach me a new rout that this older ship must sail

the path to a brighter future and calmer waters….

Allow the bonds of circumstance to break and allow this captive soul, freedom.

Before the sands of sorrow drown him on weakened knees that shall falter?

In a different land my dreams bring me to explore..
Lands Anew..
Where Clean Green Grasses, Mystic Songs, the Scrolls, and the Maps of The Orient's  Past.....are for me to discover and enjoy more..
The true meanings of the elders..I relate to them... I live within these lands....
Closing my eyes to sleep. Flying to this beautiful and untainted  country
On dreams leading to astral plains of plenty.

I run freely and strongly, there
Like a flame on the kindle to which  it  fuels......
I stand stronger, here
Like  a tree well rooted..Standing tall from the ground....

I become A monument to those powerful and magical spirits which speak into me as I escape waking bonds.

Flowing like a clean artisan stream.....
Brightening my world like a huge lighthouse torch.....
Free as a monkey playfully sounding his voice in the mystic tropical lands...

My Heart is called to motion
As hope is a reoccurring dream.

I hold a deed to a  space in this land
A newer place seen as "lost in another time and place."
This is where I belong.

As hope lights my way, it will not take long...
To Follow the wise messages in those "Astral Travels"
Where I've left  behind despair,broken homesteads and the dark people behind..

As I awaken from the belief of the small and unwinnable battles called "self made limits"

I shall be awakened by hope's light.
For the land in my dreams
Such Safe  traveling shall replace  the "old" pathways that lead me astray
Then,delightfully,I shall be  traveling newer  roads...
To arrive at my destination to "Lands Made For Me To Reside."

A moment spent in waking day dreams
I sell a newer moment
For a newly rewritten night mare tale
Of the fall of my fate
In the newly splashed visual effects
I snap from this role in stronger and more feeling aspects.
Here he goes
Another “historic” tale of his to tell
About how one man becomes stronger when he fell
Than ever he was at his sanest or clearest of moments
Let the clinics and morals of the controlled “sane practitioners ” protest
That don’t intimately or personally know the real and inner passionate soul
That where evil society tried to wage their tolls
Upon a greater warrior
I hit them right back with huge , more powerful flames
In their hunger for games and glory
I hit hard and defend others alike me
To pry open the oppressors cells
And widely open their once locked doors
To let brighter souls who deserve brighter fates
Run free

Alone in quiet hours

Quiet while people come into the room

“What is the matter?”

“Why Don’t You Create?”

“Lack of affection. Lack of Mutual Understanding.”

It’s a Holocaust and doom.

1,000 knives stabbed in my back

“Why are you here? If you refuse to return my soul’s

Energy? Am I your Shrink within an emotional attack?”

A snack?

A temporary fix?

Some kind of drug that only lasts but a very short time.

“You don’t know my grief! You will never listen!”

Not without a fight.

I feel exhausted.

Why must I aid you in your life’s quarrels?

If my questions and tears remain unjustified?

To the likes of you?

A one way street. I need replenishment.

Of energy taken.

True soul equal distribution..

No more of your punishment.

I’ll find a way out of this corner.

That I was pushed into.

Due to my past?

My deficits?

Me needing you?

More than you see….You see right through me.

Attack me when I’m down.

Trying to **** my victories and my wins….

As you return home and the routine, again, sure shall begin.

I have ideas on your weakness. It is your Father’s Pride

Embedded into you.

Becoming too strict to even smile?

Discipline overloaded the machine..

That you have become.

See me remain, myself.

As I need no energies that come

when I feel and get reprimanded…

from these moments that are quite a scene.

You are unwilling to learn.

No older dog needs to learn new tricks?

Age plays no card in this gamble…..

As your soul needs it’s own recharge.

Feel my breeze as I walk ahead and disappear.

“Salute to the Sarge.”

Do you see me?
Or just the shell?
Do you understand the feelings, inside of me....
That flame up inside of me
Like I'm rotting in Hell?
Must we argue if I disagree with even the smallest of things?
You look at your watch...
What made you so important?
To place me upon on a shelf...
Where monetery gain is regulatory?
For me to be walking near you?
I need not to be dictated where to go and when to go.
I need not hear "can't" when I need "Help"
Disagree with the fact that this has been like a coin.
Never flipped. As when you need, like my energies, to spend such...
Is silver and gold what you seek in a friendship?
Or is it what someone is in the soul?
Is such what equals your kindred-ship?
Be like your authoritarian father...
So, as a support, why bother?
If one cannot be your brother?
Receive equal feeling...
Instead of money from a pay check...
For your ends...you must keep excuses to keep stealing...
From my sanity...
So very heartily profound
Do you place all of your friends on such scales...
or ones you hold grudges for what others do that you blame the other for?
Which you cage up, due to situation and threats, like a stray dog in your dog pound?

Seeing The World in Colors

Black and Gray
Red and Gold
These are all colors
In our eyes For our minds to mold.
Seeing the new
Colors that fill totally new landscapes
Can change the painting
That we call life’s “view.”
After taking in the newest of
Painter’s “color stains”
Upon my blank canvas
Are The newest of colors
Brushed upon canvas viewing plains. Such Design is a newer soul A painting Displayed From within the gallery of Life Memory’s hallways in which we stroll. Portraits Are painted moments In life’s experienced pains..
gallery halls in which we place Monumental gifts given as we travel through life’s colorful astral planes.

"evening" falls upon the land
Here she comes.. The shallow trickster with someone Else's Love Band.
She made you believe you were something.
You "were at least a chance.."
Nope.
It was  a fancy picture of her,despair's linger, and laugh's dance.
You would have given her the world. If she wasn't so blind to take it.
However, I don't have a fancy picture, well worded postings, false teachings,
or the will to laugh at some else's tears as I stare and sit.
I don't have the will to string someone along and then "pose for the camera, My ''crush."
My father fought in the war... When postcards were sent.
No Picture or jewelry. Just a sweet and truthful card.
How this person would run to them, after the war, and save this unseen beauty from another worldly yard.
Those times are gone with a selfie and a caption...
"I might like you...If you meet my requirements.. Now don't make me walk away due to the lack of action."

The inner child, in me, cries through the night.
Waking the adult, I pick up the pieces.....
I wear the mask...To hide my true delight.
In pity's stew I love to feed the hunger.
Basking in my self pity
It is a dark place
To hide the demon inside..
Once running after being set free....."Blood site in the city."
I enjoy the pain....Instead of the bland and Melancholia.
Here i lay in my home made cell.
Savoring the taste
Of the Charred after-math..
The Demon Returns to fight and laugh in the bowels of Hell.

"Send in The Clowns"
Linda Ronstadt sang on as mother wept
I was quite young
I become bruised by her drunken and stabbing snake's tongue
I worked long nights as a teen
Avoiding the hell that ruined my youth that forced me into a man's role
I raised my mother like a daughter as my dad worked.
He was blind to her unplanned brutality.
Her life almost ended many times due to drunk stunts
I rushed to the phone as the pediatrics asked questions
over scars and ****** wounds she forced into my arms.
Blows that winded me and were blunt.
Bad boys homes
Escapes from her terror as she took in the poison.
As she waked sober. She was quite a charm.
A loving soul mixed with dealers and her boyfriend pimps
I was fearing the smile of the circus until I immersed into insanity.
Changing schools like underwear
Sitting in therapy. Not uttering a word.
The shrink wasted time, lifting her skirts, and left me empty and broken there.
I was afraid of the tornado of "Mommy Dearest"
as the volcano of tame-less  evil.
The drink rotted her brain and body.
She would break as I was thrown through a window sill.
"Mommy please stop this pain."
Years and years the storms rolled on.
I road the roller coaster to car crashes and ****** fights.
A storm crushed family left in blood stained tears.
I stay strong and helped lift them up.
Their "rock of loyalty"
Their "Honey" in a broken cup.
Her sins felt like my own
Now I held the same drink from which it came.
Insanity in ***** and wasted years.
Now the pain's voices I've endured
They can sing and close me up.
But strength and a true heart can never be tamed
Even on through the words of blame.
I can laugh at the vary likeness of the clown I had feared.
Clowns stay happy without meaning.
I am the one you see walking tall, still.
See him write, sing, and create.
For true wisdom and beauty are not bought or given.
They are not even just a beauty that is enjoyed skin deep.
This strength prevented me from drowning in fears waters
which were ,then, way too deep.

Shards of pain

Stabbing my heart

Cutting my soul

Burning my endurance

I refrain…..

Holding back the tears

to mark the cuts of agony

Hiding the facts that this pain is starting to take the best of me

Jailed within the limitations of agony

That no pain killer can numb

Such relays and impulses

Where the problem started

In my soul in infamy

If I were a boxer

I would be the Grand Champion

As I fight the signals of pain

and I pull from my heart and soul, these shards..

Of the broken glass which was my fragile jewel

Of a heart

Now shattered and needing glue to put back the pieces

To end another night of this existence without hearts and remedies that I need

As I hemorrhage and then wait for time to heal

these wounds that were part of my cut-up body

That infliction of heart’s disease

  and inner turmoil destroyed

to a point

Now I’m the tougher man, healing…

A safe holding memories and plans for a future

that no thief could ever steal.

She came into my life.
A beautiful smile.
Beating my limbs
I was dying from the avoidance of lonely days
She played me like a violin.
Sensual and hot nights of hypnotism
To control my good and create the one they thought as evil.
I was her sin.
She beat me
Tried to break me down
Running streets to avoid the law
Puking death until the rescuers found me
I could not break away from this stalker
The crazy lady and the broken backed walker
I was given a gift of release
when I gained my strength and sent her away.
A pink restraining order I held up.
I had no more tears
That I had to finally cry
No more brute blunt forces to my skull
The forced days to toil with the one I thought
who had loved my soul
Now I am free
Now freedom and sunny days
shall light up the damages
that loving her had taken it's toll.

she came into my life almost as if by accident
a sweet voice
a blessed meeting
based on pure mutual investment
to ease the cold cutting nights of being alone
as we both sensed one another's need
to have each other in true and loving tones.
trueness and wealth from mutual interest
from enjoying each other and even just one
moment spent..
in true care
in each other's arms
a trueness to be fused together in light
we fuse from each point in which we give
another moment to grow together.
as we seek to run to one another
in distant cities
such true and brightly sought souls
in agreement to spend true bright eternity as one
shall enjoy a well rewarded and sweet victory.

She is Still shining bright
Dedicated To Selena Perez, A Brilliant Musical Soul.

As Written By Kevin Micheal Kappler


She is Still shining bright

A soul thought into permanent “rest”

I see her shining upon my body

A secret rendezvous

We greet one another every night

She still sings to me

A sweet and Welcoming tone

Of a Spanish Melody

She always makes me feel at home .

Surely the one that she also visits at night

Sees the Moon Goddess as she holds him tight.

Dries our tears

Fills up once void and empty years

I am truly dreaming “of you tonight….”

For every tomorrow

The Moon Goddess visits her dearest

Souls together

We dance in rainy streets

Now sun dried

Together and forever.

I'm ******* out rainbows
Isn't everybody aware?
I'm sick of crying tears.
I giggle in happy insanity
Because all these colors I'm making make even hell glow
With happiness
Even the devil is swinging on the dance floor with me
So enjoy my show
as my pants fall down
I'm ******* out rainbows
as I'm sick of dropping with a frown
I'm the new clown
In town
I rock the way to happier times as I change rusty and despairing subjects
A giggle from the loon
in the quiet
shall start a chain of giggles in the city
all of us sharing
this magical moment
we take a dump to relieve ourselves of this sadness ****
I'll tell you something
I feel lighter than air
As I leave a trail of colors
Out of my *******
I'm ******* out true happiness from the end of dark madness
I'm glowing from the relief of heavy burdens of sadness
as I am the new life that was always inside of me...
We are all sisters and brothers...
Let us join in
Pants down
We are much bolder than all those stiff others
Just a great show
Because, now, we are all ******* out rainbows.

Sickness can distort a once clear mind.
Fever clouds the rational
Boiling away such clarity into clouds of Blind
Thoughts of darkness and of peril
"When shall this sickness leave me to peace?"
Mending the ruins that are left overs after the disease
filling  it's hunger
Once blurred sight clears
As such shall the mind
Be it ever so humble
To release a soul from a shaky bind?

Didn't I hear your words?
The words from the you that inspired me
Drew me into....
Side talks and misunderstanding? "That's obsurd!"
In the defense in a clique. See their blood that drips
From love's hurt rose grow green and sick.
He walks away. Crushed into tiny shards.
Cut once again.
He snaps...."never again!"
"Wake....wake...!"
Senseless rituals of doubt "stop cutting on me!
"You blood thirsty harpee"
"I shall fight you from stealing what's left of the real me!"

She speaks to my soul every night.
Even though I don't know her name
I know that she is out there
Loving me with all her might.

Her signals spark in the weirdest of places
Online
Offline
In songs playing in retail spaces.

Love is a magic that is true and strong

The one that truly has been calling to me
Deserves me near
.she must be so worn out from trying to reach me for so Long.

When the day comes and I find out her name
I shall find her
Hold her
Forever loving her deeply true..
As I Trace back her signals from which they came.

I feel like I am deaf in the heart
As other's Lips Move. I hear a statement.
But it wasn't what   I thought.
I was mislead by beautiful words yet actions broke me.
My windows are all becoming broken and *****...
My home has no clear views, now.
I've become blind. I have fallen and cannot see.
I am a scared heart. I have been seen one way. I know I'm another.
Now, I am stamped permanently, now, even though we were once close to one another.
Now, we are no longer sister and brother.
A broken beat and muffled speaker. Laughs from others
As what I give is never good enough.
I smile as I laugh, now.
I rise up in the fire.
I can bear the smoke.
I am strong and tough...
In my mind, I have had enough. However, my heart beats even harder and brighter.
I love this feeling.
Like smoking a blunt as you light it with a lighter.
I know what my true definition, deep down inside this dictionary people seem to read.
Look up loyal. There is my photo.
So speak down or speak up my music and writing lives on.
So, if you don't like what you see or what you hear, move on.
For I'm unkillable . walk on other's backs. This one is not looking to you based upon...
Now I'm seeing clearer and not believing the sign language.
I'm doing great...I'm here.
Either see the real me or read another lie.
For this man refuses to lie down and cry.

My fears were faced and I have now broken down this wall.
In fears that all will be lost.
I demanded truth, respect, and a light to relight my once darkened ways.
Here is the trick which was what you gave to me.
You gave to me..."Your All."
Your true friendship and beliefs in me..
Forcing me to stay strong and being quite a "Loving Teacher.."
Such broke my shattered lie's  pathways.

The rains ceased.
The air warmed back to the temperature of my truer heart.
Skies turned back  to blue..in my soul...
As you have lead me to the right place.
Lie's hold on me
from it's horrid animal, has now, since deceased.

Now...I shall return the kind energies that you have invested in my darkest of hours.

I hand you my flower.
I hold you,now, even closer.
Since you have proven your truer meanings than most of those that were
simply Glitter and "Bribed" days given through selfish one's evil golds.
I spit in it's face and fought such out of my way.
Since the reward I need to give you, my teacher, is my "Finest" Hours.

I have many travels tales to tell.
War and Funny Life Stories
That will make the heart laugh and learn , as well.
Strength breeds numbers.
Energies shine abroad.
Whether negative or positive
What energy you cling to is absorbed by those nearest to you.
Watch out of pity demons and negative spirits..
Instead of beautiful songs..uplifting and full of dance..
You shall be playing, all alone, to even smaller numbers..
While singing the blues.

Death seems more inviting
when lonely hours eat your soul like acid.
The heart pounds from the destructive force of stress of being pushed to quiet hours. You obey their rules. Just to be ignored and left to, slowly age, until death. Alone.
      You fight the feelings. You box the bags of self-destruction’s brutal control until your will is too weak to look towards any light.
    What is the role for someone in life? This mouse has run through their mazes to get his cheese.
     Just to find, at the completion of their sick direction, there was no cheese to be eaten.
Your heart starts to starve. Your heart is anorexic and weak.
Help is a word, from them. Never an action.
Being strange
You are unwelcome. The distant stranger.
Nights are empty, heavy, and sleep becomes a dreadful process.
Dreaming of things that are better than the waking hours
One starts to wonder. “is permanent slumber the sweet reward to a caged awakened hour?”
Work.
Work.
You try and you long for the reward
Of tools to complete your legacy
Your “light behind your name.”
Just as these tools are in your grasp… they are pulled out of reach by the corrupt and the greedy.
In quicksand.
It always happens that other persons only pull you half way out from pity.
Then the feeling of boredom passes into them over not understanding the thrill of your presence
They  release the vine which could have kept you from sinking in and drowning
They then walk away.

His will was strong.
As was his life's journey.
Working hard, chopping the weeds of the untruthful and cruel out of his path, the warrior..
with his shield of knowledge, his sword of truth, and armor of understanding.....
The brave night slayed the dragons of cons
He placed the demons of lust to their tombs....
His armor shone the beams of blinding misfortune and lies back to it's Wizard
Fusing his evil eyes shut so he may never see good coming, hence, he
shall never strike again.
Riding his horse of determination, Sir. Heart braved the dark forests
of greed..to finally reach his rightful place on his throne.
His throne of life's winnings and control over his kingdom of Eternity.
Nothing can stop a well prepared warrior as he starts out on his own journeys and adventures in his life.
If one dons the armor of understanding, wielding the sword of truth, and
blocking out the evil temptations, which Those Dark Magiks can make your heart dark and impure, with your sword of virtue...you are the next Warrior.
The white Knight....Following Sir.Heart to the round table of eternal successors.
We then hold up all our whine glasses at the triumph celebration feast and we toast to the future of eternal bliss.

Nightmares Ally
The flights in my sleep are crashing down
To darker grounds
a battle zone
he screams in fright
as those around him
wake from the sweaty sight
The emotions electrocute my soul
as an explosion
alike Chernobyl has just occurred
in my head
I feel dark, numb, and dead.
I awaken just in time
to verify that I am still alive
I fail to see the logic of counting sheep
after days of trauma to my emotions
knocks me out like a sedative
Here I go..it is all relative.

My dreams are like movies
Fantastic voyages and scenes of worthwhile emotions and Places
My mind is a hidden video recorder.
For playback
Every time for scene additions
as I return for another episode of "dreamscapes"
That is of passionate and well "planned" order.

The special effects seem so real
The physical surroundings and touches that I can feel...

As the astral plains in which I travel
As my feet start to touch "reality's gravels"

] hate waking up
As I have ended my Out of Body Travels
The movie has ended
As so does a magical trip.
I think to myself as I pour my first Coffee cup.
"How I wish I could Forever Remain in Wonderland"

To  a land full of every type of movie or show I watch
Even horror
I have been wishing life were alike my "astral Dreamscapes"
Deeper than "Real," truly entertaining and educational...
They have shown me true glimpses into my future as I figured out events that unfolded
That such trips have provided me with scenes of my life
They have shown me other's and their truest hint of intention
As in a spy movie
A war movie
I avoided and won some through this extraordinary venture
I romanced and could freely express my passionate and need-filled satisfaction
Awake and real
I wish I could remain sleepless
So disappointment of my wakeful hours
wasn't part of this deal.

Sleep is a rare commodity.
Add the weight of stress and the thoughts of worry
or doubt
The scale tips
The sandman has no pay for any more credit
to be maxed out.
Rains shall fall
Not just your eye lids
Relaxation is harder
As you slip into confusion
Clear thoughts forbid.
After one falls
Falls from exhaustion  or heavy-bodies
Sleep comes as the prize
the body resets
and the mind mends from the calamity.
Now comes a new way of thought.
About face.
The scale balances out the once "large"
of debt's size.

Slipping into madness
A quicksand of emotion
Here it goes
My legs are being brought down through an endless motion
of the same moments repeating themeselves like broken records
People move their lips
Nothing meaningful ever comes out
Meanlingless efforts
Through me a line
instead of some words
the only solution
instead of some enrgies of sympathy
Totally absurd
Death comes to those who allow dispair to win
However, true, that is
I am battling despair's army
I'm always shouting
However, my cries in need of applied help
Always semm to go unheard.

Snap,Crackle, and Pop!



Lifting a spoonful of nutrition out of my cereal bowl

I swallow a moment’s fuel

To rush through a moment

Due to situation’s Blows.

The horn sounds the time when you must prepare

to run this “rat race”

or lose the prizes as you are left behind

due to taking a turtle’s pace.

Everyone is competing to finish above everyone else

in this world of life to the success of passing the finish line.

In life’s race

Life follows the clock which measures moments and breaths of life

just as quick

as the “snap ,crackle, and pop!”

To which your milk doused corn cereal sounds

Start again with each bite full which  you spoon

Fuel for just one quick moment

until in life

Our breaths shall stop.

Social Fires

The push of the swift winds of time

The boiling waters of expectations

Burn your soul to dust.

Hands held out to ****** your last earned dime.

The self appointed “Monks” of “Defined Existence”

Are not the Calm or the enlightened.

They are the “Controllers of Conformity.”

Individuality is non-existent in their eyes.

They push you towards the edge until you break.

Fires flare from your eyes.

You push back

Smoke and flames turned once blue into red skies.

They are on a time schedule.

Even when you don’t need to punch in.

Life is not work.

These “lost souls” fail to differentiate

“Chop, Chop”

An artist wishing to savor his moments

It is rushed to adhere to their educational lectures.

The resentment of becoming “a dog on a leash”

Heating up

Your Once calm and cool oceans

Simmer your waters to a blasting boil.


As you fight for your right to a brighter future

Fighting for your right of Free Ways of Motion


You wage war against those “puppet masters”

Who try and **** out the “worms”

Inspecting everyone under their microscope

Only to have their corporate thinking crumble

In their twisted means in their lives as which they cope


Burning down their forests of contempt

of those unlike a carbon copy of themselves

They are now merely blackened  and smoldering ashes of the old

As you plant seeds of a greener jungle

For your courage to stand up to those oppressors that warm up the air once colder

You are now the teacher

These “lost puppet masters” are the newer students

A reverse role

Which is now, ohh, so prudent.

You hide the true empty emotions

Loneliness takes its grip

A true a beautiful heart

Lost in societies cramped oceans.

Trying to not become lost in the waves

The undertoe of social confusion

Has already marked mass graves.

You reach out in voice

You reach out in signals

Over the net or in a lot full of people

Messages get muffled within the mass vocals.

A diamond in the rough

Shining

Brightly through masses of bodies and signals

A beacon to signal

Those who wish to help guide this stray boat

To your ports

Where no longer does life sweep you away

In the wake of the worldly message of a tidal wave

Defining its followers

To their defined graves.

I've been walking down a road of thumb tacks
Each fowl word and evil glance they give
Sticks into your Human flesh.
You try and lift up your head.
But, their judgment  crown of thorns cuts to streams of blood.
As my tourmented soul wishes for the relief of being dead.
Drying tears of emptiness of the lack of supporters by your side.
You scream, aloud, due to years of useless torment, yet not one ear ever hears.
You fear you'll be preyed upon by the packs of emotional wolves waiting for you to just make one simple mistake.
They attack you in numbers.
Tearing your soul's flesh to shreds
As you fear your life is a useless spot taken.
You feel like a joke.
The more the predators lurk like vultures in the desert....
Onward you walk in a barren land not fitting in for some odd defined reasoning.
You lose your strength to go on.
The bullies have battered your head in....
Like a boxer....you are too punch drunk to think.
As your sanity is tested by ice you walk upon that's mighty thin.
"Watch how you walk"
One false move.....you fall into frozen and cold waters.
You shall freeze to death from backs that turn away...
Turning once warm and sweet air to a dark and bitter air .
frozen to cold.
Dying,slowly, alone, would anyone care to rescue a battered and now shivering soul.....
After the bullies forced you to fit into "their version of Society's "
Mold.

Blood rains of tears
Pouring down from the clouds of pain.
Covering faces of fear with it's deadly fogs...
This lone soldier shall never go down from such in vane.
My bones might ache
My soul maybe in turmoil....
He shall never quit or hold back for anyone's sake.
He shall win and survive.
He is beating the odds.
As he thrives.
In this land where poverty weakens and it sometimes kills.
He voice for the lost is louder, still.
As his heart beats a rhythm for all strong human wills.

A solo holiday season
It's not that Bad
I have freedom to sing my own versions of Christmas Carols
Have my own dinner party
Watch some movies
And feel the Happiness of Self Company.
Five years rolling. Who's counting?
At least people think of me.
At least I know that my lost loved ones' spirits are with me
So I raise a toast, to yet another solo holiday....
Where I can cherish their memories
Reach out to those who care
Enjoy another winter day.....
And write new futures which shall out do the
Rocky Roads I've traveled
In my life's history.