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writing songs sans artifice,
that grow better different,
different better,
the lyrics of a man growing older,
insides out, featuring his slips, all showing,
eyes squinting from hard lifestyle experience,
taking on wearied shades of beige yellowing,
a tanned blackness, time edits them, so now,
they sound the same but holier,
from the hazing of hazards
one builds for and by himself,
drilling & extracting the spit-shine of
all that all is fine,
but liquor & cat's paw black shoe polish
just can't quite cover 'em up (2),
the stabbing itch each of the every time
one quests and questions
his ego,
always another test…

why would I ever want that?

his fingers create tinkling at rapido pace,
tinkling an arrhythmia of rhymes
previously perviously (1) unseen,
self exploration, that we all realize
is an unforgiving, never ending,
source of melodic crying out loud;
and when the sensual, arrayed pleasures,
begin to bore
holes of no important consequence,
the querys~to~self get even harder
to explicate what they intimate,
who they implicate,
which parts of you,
failed to answer satisfactorily…

why would I want want that
forever?
(1)
Perviousness refers to the ability of a material to allow fluids to pass through. Pervious surfaces include porous pavement and asphalt. Unlike regular pavement, which is impermeable and creates water runoff, pervious pavement allows rainwater to filter through the surface and into the ground
(2)
https://www.google.com/search?q=cat%27s+paw+shoe+black+polish&sca_esv=ec9e5a722f530583&rlz=1C9BKJA_enUS1169US1169&hl=en-US&sxsrf=AE3TifNnqbBcvvGAf8A75ME-01M_C2ofQg:1754156528053&udm=2&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjgt_Cl1uyOAxU3k4kEHbPEKU4Q7Al6BAgSEAM&biw=1366&bih=969&dpr=2
A follow on poem to 'In the Sunroom (Suicide)"  (1)
writ many years later...
~For MWK~
<>
A stray thought. a burring burrowing, thorny tawny:

A wish, yet to get, but vetted for each of us.

This within, this redoubt, a contemplative oasis,
my indoor poet's nookery rookery sanctuary
each one, each is, deserves, all, one such,
a place holy filled, with lice and dirt of a life,
strained and trained for emission and transmission
of the best of the worst, and the triumphant emergent commission of
our individualized most excellent fresh best

where crumbs of apple crisp pie solidify, vanilla bean ice cream
melt offsets the oven heated warmth, and from this interactive
contrasts combative,
a poem pie reborn, newly disguised, familiar words,
yet unheard and before this very never,
went unspoken and now goes forth
svelte and unbroken

rhymes of yore, forgot from a before, but making up the walls
of the here and now,
a sunroom to spread out the lit lights of egress and entrance,
of fire door no exits that now are chiseled closed,
lock in, lock up, and somehow, one, stills to learn from
the stilling quiet solitude.
to penetrate the prostrate kneeling grinning grief,
how to expel and spell the words
that grant
relief

visit my sunroom, though no fiction.
the sun rays *******, create the friction
of that which cannot ever be withered nor contained,
and your mouth opens wide and a poem birthed and delivered,
a pastiche paste composted of truth and dreams of fiction,
with a shrug, a smile, a satisfaction extracted extraordinary,
you garner moments of satisfaction but the cloud cover returns,
and the process of sunrise exposition recommences,
and one revisits the elemental sequencing of
all the predecessor pain, but this time,

for gain, for gain,
<>

written this sabbath Saturday
12:38am EST
Sat Aug 2
2025
in the sunroom,
on Shelter Island
I'm having a rave
Inside
Plato's cave

These squares
Are going to listen
This
Time

Time to take a
Fall,
Staring at
Shadow,
On the
Wall

They ain't keen
On the truth,
It's the biggest
Problem,
Holding them
Back

Outside,  
It's a
Lovely day,
Must choose Carefully,
What I
Say
Have you heard about the great democratic power that’s ready to devour? Looming in every ocean and across every sea. Their military bases pepper the globe like a bad dermatologic disease.
Their basal ******* bow and pray, to the illusion of money made, made out of thin air, truth is, there ain’t no money there!
And their army’s are dwindling as a matter of fact, their societies have grown lazy, crazy and fat.. Not many warriors to fill the void. That’s why their war machine is just a ploy… A rue, an illusion through and through.
Traveler Tim
As darkness is just perceptive errors or failures,
Light reveals more.

Investigation yields more
Than merely just believing;
You can believe in everything,
Without believing in anything.
You can believe in everything,
Without believing in 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨.
You can believe in everything,
Without it meaning anything.

You can believe anything,
Even while it goes against all that is logical & virtuous.

Believing in everything without properly investigating
Is meaningless.
Believing in anything that after investigation contradicts
Logic & Virtue, facts & opinion - both the objective & subjective,
Is meaningless.

Don't read into things
Which really aren't there to begin with,
Because there is so much
Of which you all are ignorant.
So don't be arrogant;
Be a teacher,
Parent.
@ECHO       OFF
CLS
ECHO       .
ECHO         /</.,k\
ECHO       / _  \          I was here.
ECHO      |             |           [Konrad]
ECHO      | _
  |         1985
PAUSE

<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
      <title>I Was Here</title>
</head>
<body>
     <pre>
     /  \
   / _
\           I was here.
  |        |              [Konrad]
  | _ |                  1994

</pre>
         </body>
</html>

SHADOW

        (   )
      / | \
      /   \
“Our apparatchiks will continue making
    the usual squalid mess called History:
        all we can pray for is that artists,
        chefs and saints may still appear to blithe it.“

W.H. Auden, “ Moon Landing”

<>

Let us happily and heedlessly
i.e blithely
send the pundits, panderers, and pussycats
and and the ill tempered ones,
the “like~seekers”
whose factual are not actuals
But
opinions gussied up
as itter-bitter-litter factoids on opioids,
of little value


yeah
they’re  history

seek not likes or to be liked,
make your own history or herstory.,
and you will be admired
'tis a far far better thing…
if you don’t like a poem, keep quiet
And just move on
And far away
My belief that I could heal you
only poisoned our embrace
Inclinations to revere you
push me further from your grace

My obsession with your outline
served to blur what was inside
I could make the pieces fit
but I could not bridge the divide

My reluctance to release you
spurred you further from my reach
No discussion, all compulsion
Learned a lesson I can't teach

So I lie, face down, inside
the jagged coffin of my mind
Searching it for reason
Something I can't seem to find
unreasonably regretful
It aches.
Echo, emptiness, and heavy essence,
that’s what I’ve felt.
Not past tense, actually.
I still do.

It hurts me physically,
and it grew.
It grew into something much bigger.

I can’t hear any thoughts
other than his.
I feel his pain.
His intentions.

Now I’m stuck
with a feeling that doesn’t even belong to me.
All he does is project it onto me.

Well… I can take it.
That’s the reason I got this power.
But not being able to really hear my own voice,
even when there’s quiet -
is something most of me
just can’t align with.
This is about absorbing someone elses pain because you care about them a bit too much, but it becomes stronger than your own.
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