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Being lonely
He beats the gong again
The guard of kabiya.

        * kabiya: cabin in which kabi (fire to frighten noxious animals like stags and wild boars) is made in autumn.
 Jun 2013 Kenneth Springer
echo
like so many frogs
we croak our choruses
     of regret...

   in           and           out
          and        in       and        out
and          in       and          out   
           of                breath

still
our paper bags
these pent up lungs
are filled again with memories
that never quite escape
two cages
(x - ray prisons)
holding captive still
                    these hearts -

like so many yawns
what sweet relief
to now expel
such weary air:

            *This, My Conscience:
(this: my friend
                         and further still,
                                                   my fear.)
When it gets to be too much
When the ache in one’s chest becomes a pounding throb
And every breath becomes a chore of monumental effort
Remember that life goes on
That life wont be as hard
And pain from disappointment & regret will eventually pass
We are
Dancing ribbons
Of satin gold
A light to heaven
Radiant stairs
Ladders spanning
Angelic wanderings
Promised stars

We are
A glint spark
On Eternity’s shoe
We glow with
Secret joy until we
Clap ourselves free
Again

We are
In retreat
Yet we beckon still
To flirt with flames
Of cellophane
Which melt
Soft as flour
In our hands

We are
Sowing hopeful seeds
In tender soil
Again to plant
Such little flames
With hopes
To grow against -
The dark

We are
worth the world

and
we are*
Free
Fog
The anger rushes through my blood like *******,
After all this pain,
Hearing your voice will never be the same.
It courses through me, calm and collected
I try to be, I try to be.
Breathing air like I will never be given oxygen again
And you smile, but I reciprocate with one of pain.
My heart hardens into a stone,
Putting the final brick on this wall that I have built
This wall that blocks emotion; the soul you killed.
The anguish that has tormented me for so long has surfaced,
All neatly packaged into this situation I cannot escape.
And try as I might I can't erase the image of your face.
That smirk that shapes your lips, painted by Deceit
As I stare back my eyes reflect the fury lying beneath
The rage, that has been held back for far too long,
Eager to burst through my veins,
Like a dove waiting to break out into song.
Thoughts of retaliation burn holes in my mind,
Leaving all thoughts of understanding behind
Lies, they dribble through your lips like fine wine.
Blood red and ever so bitter with your insecurities.
The insecurities that are being heaved onto my back
You ****** them against me, trying to make up for what you lack.
But I’m fading; I’m a passing fog that once carried the Sun
And when you finally notice its beauty, I will be long gone.
*-lf-
Written sometime in 2012 in the middle of my philosophy class out of pure anger. I still remember the moment quite well.

© Leelan Farhan 2012
just past midnight, in bed with you
together, yet I alone, listen, awake,
shuffling in a Pandora world,
Iz's ukulele invites me over the rainbow,
unaware and unbeknownst to him,
I am there, already
awaiting for his too soon,
untimely arrival.

the weekend war, culture vs. football,
resolved, peace negotiations concluded,
orzo and grilled chicken repast served,
après le bon deluge,
love the treaty signing dinners.

just past midnight,
caress thy hand with solitary thumb,
whispering you are my woman now.
you groggily answer interrogatorily,
"what?"
and I suppress the infectious,
giggling way too loud.

these are the unsummoned moments,
these are the thee-free moments,
this the summary of a man's boon,
their disparate pleasures collectively,
a unity deserving the honorific,
Untitled Moments.

*Why is my vision blurred, my cheeks wet?
New York ~ San Francisco
Oct. 27, 2012
---------------------------------------------------------------
* http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alone_in_Iz_World
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NExnOdM6TvI
I wonder,
If you still lift your head,
From whatever held
Your attention,
When you hear my name.
And I wonder,
If you remember
The love we shared,
Until something else,
Grabbed your attention.
You can tease me,
Beat me,
You know you wana be me,

You can hit me
Curse me
I'll pretend it never hurt me,

You can set me on fire,
And Call me a thief
You can call me a liar
And give me great grief

You could call me a gay
You can call me a dunce,
You could hit me all day,
But you only live once,
hater gonna hate
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