"I'm loving you",
she said.
not "I love you",
which is what most people say,
which is what I would have said --
"I'm loving you."
because it was an ongoing action,
not just a passive state,
because she was loving me
while I was reading, or cooking.
it wasn't something like
"how do you feel?" "I feel good."
"what do you love?" "you, dear."
-- no.
no, loving is a verb, an act,
one that takes patience and time
and perseverance.
"I'm loving you", she said,
and her tone was casual or
almost indifferent, maybe,
as if she had said "I'm cleaning
the house", as if it should follow
"what are you doing today?",
she said the words as if they were
positively ordinary, but they weren't.
people tend to ask
"do you smoke?" or "do you drink?"
or "what do you believe in?"
-- habitually, passively --
and she said
"I'm loving
(and loving and loving)
you."

I want to smile like the sunrise

sleep in the heavens like the high moon

be cradled aligned with the stars

and rise like a proud head of a woman

that turn the neck

of a stubborn man


I want to be the apple

shinning beside my consort

run for miles to the closest rainbow

reach out to the struggles of nature

and embrace the rain

where I am baptized in holy evaporation


I want to heal

a broken childs heart

after and abuse

after an attack

and make them feel found

and whole again


I want to run with the wild

and fly

with Roman and Greek mythology

where fantasys crown me queen

and they are my dream

cause it never dies

whatever is young in my mind


when crumbled

I want to succeed

when fallen

I want to stand back up

and look at the world

and hold on to it tightly

because it is all I got

to survive.


And the world smells good.

© S.T. Rebel of Eden