Do you remember?
When we're watching the sunset
You hugged me so tight
Like you would never let go
Now it's just a memory

At the end of the day, we will part ways
And walk a different path to an unknown place
Painful it may be for me to even see
I'll think of it as setting ourselves free

For I cannot move on with you still here
Because within my heart is a growing fear
The fear of losing someone I really love
Someone I love but I can never have

And with this poem, I want to end it all
Sorry my love, but you never heard my call
I am sorry but now I have to let go
To end this series and start a new show

I am not anyone special to you
I can't change that, there is nothing I can do
This is farewell and we are moving apart
It is our end, but this is just my start

She wrote about guns caressing her body in the summertime.
She got lost in the mountains to purposely create panic within herself and kept walking through spiderwebs until they coated her eyelashes.

In August, she dreamed of October
but never wanted November to come.

At 5 am she takes walks on the river before the sun comes up
and listens to music that hurts her ears through headphones.

She goes to work like none of this ever happens.

She sits in the dark until 12 am,
when her mind finally decides the day is done,
there is no more suffering to be had.

She dreams about knives.
She blogs about columbine.
She blogs about him.
She wishes he knew the streets can't love him more than she can.

She touches herself until it hurts.
She pops her blisters.
She waits for him to come back.
She knows he never will.

She wonders what would happen if
she flung herself off of the bridge a half mile from her apartment.

She writes about him.
Panic and sadness ensue.

She knows people call her a mystery, she loves this.
She decides to deny everything that makes her feel human.
She thinks she can do without it.
She thinks if she could go without breathing, she would.

She waits for the sun to come up.
She knows it never will.

Sing me a lullaby
Put me to sleep
Stay at my side
Please never leave
Words I cannot utter
Because of too much pain
So sing me a lullaby
At least, keep me sane.

A long night mystery surrounds me
Still I can hear whispers following me
When the sun sets and dark clouds covers
I go insane
Watching me
Wanting me
I can't bear what’s happening now
Haunting me
Killing me
I want to run out of this feeling
Unseen smoke surrounds me all night
Unheard voices and cries runs in my head
All night an image keep walking on and turns into fames
Watching me
Wanting me
I can't bear what’s happening now
Chasing me
Conquering me
I want to run out of this feeling now
I'm going insane
Something is making me feel this pain
Someone soon please pull me out
I'm going mad
Dark world welcomes me with glad
Someone soon please help me out.

I wonder if I qualify for
something that will get me by
and what would that thing be?

A magic lamp would cramp my style
I
make the moods that fit my day
a genie would get in the way.

I wonder if I qualify for
something,
maybe I'll just try and
trust in luck.

Ah rage
my dear friend
when things are grim
I turn to you
you fill me to the brim
the world turns red
and when you leave
my problems are solved
albeit temporarily.