If only I could find
A way to communicate
Before I should succumb
To some inevitable fate
They even now... sit resolute
Upon my mind's perimeter fence
Like vultures drawn to  "mordum"

The pointless word now sentral to the view I will not yield... but use it as my shield to be the pointless compass and to help any who get lost
Now if that's not cold... Then I must be Jack Frost!

So my last poem has arrived
Upon the wings of eviscerated lips
That rendered down from my own skin
From which these soulless words were ripped

Understanding or not makes no head way
Into the scornful Stormfront of all future chaos
As we fight and fail this complex front
That slams us with the Futures disregard  - as it will discard
Those volumes of words that do get tossed
Away.....
,,,,,, and into.....
.... A bitter past while reverting humans to gestures or a grunt
And poetry become so abject and simple to execute or write
Where any deal made without real knowledge
Come Sans of a way to ever measure cost

For I admit I am a helpless victim
A problem Fading into rust
A sightless eye that sees all
Without knowing who to trust

A quandary in search of a question
A question that has no voice
That has fallen into a old and deep and hidden well
Unknown to all... So keep searching... Or Surrender... As those be our only choice

He was off.10  n 4
MM driving
She ad a need
LN herpurs
He was goN.out
As she was A rivN
He smiled with iiiiiiii
She decided 2stopD9
They both felt plugged in

2 d8 they r str8
4 4 complete zodiacs
1 N  the strol R
With  1 ND ovN

Ain lieFun.  E?

They cry out their confessions
Seeking vengence in the name
Of the one above who protects them
In the name of love who neglects HIM
No remorse for the bitter course
That led them to this place
Where love is lost at a human cost
In the name of GOD -- they do disgrace

BLOODSEEKERS  in human form
Forgetting just who they are
Vengeance --seeking --a little warmth
In the cold godless emptiness
THE HEART... land of a mercenary

"Let em die---let em die"
"I want to pull the switch"
"Let em fry--they SHOULD fry"
"I need closure--I need death"
"I NEED to play God and
                Take away their breath"
"I need to have mine.... MINE and
Forget  all the rest"
"Give me MINE...GIVE ME MINE!!!"

The  message is plain to see
This anger that I will admit
Lies deep in me
As it does in all of you
Brings to mind something once said
"FORGIVE THEM LORD for they know not
What it is that they do!

I look ahead and what do I see
As it is ....approaching me
The future of all mankind..and it is...in a bind
.......coming unwound and ...
....is now sinking fast
into the distant waves
Of time.... as it rolls past
And I am bound ...by fear
To this place I stand ...surrounded

By all that I once knew ..
All that I was going...to do
.... before it was too late
But now I seem to hesitate
Chalk it all up to fate before
It has a chance to implicate
ME
ALTHOUGH
it is not any real surprise
How long I failed to recognize
The panic that I saw ...whenever
I looked into my own eyes
As they became as clouded as stormy skies

The light that fades I tried... to ignore
But now I can clearly see ...
That those waves of time have
Managed
To somehow catch up to me
And I think I always knew
I would never get to do
All those thing that I had planned to

So I must accept that ...
it was ...
.more than enough .

I paused to stare
across
-the void of emptiness
where I have tossed
so many promises that I
have made
all the memories and people
that time will fade
then the fog always seems
to appear
obscuring all there
that were just here
pushing me to move along
telling me that I was
some how wrong
To even give the past a chance  even taking a single glance and what do I do
I'll let life intervene
rise up and come between
start slowly shrinking
to suddenly disappear
and then I walk on past
the empty
shadow that I cast
if I could I separate myself
from all those memory traps
Where I always seem to fall
I find that I cannot help myself  always I seem to pause
to peer across the distance void where I've always lied decried  , as, as full of emptyness
when I truly knew
exactly what it is that I see
every single one of those
scattered memories
Like  mausoleums
inviting me to come on In ,,
While inside my head
Voices telling me to move on
before I release some  inner peace
Soothing out all the inner pain and ever-present nerve
  So away I go to avoid
Any  piece of mind
I don't believe I yet deserve.

Why do people always want to start a fight
,when all you trying to do is help them
see the light
You don't want to see Them Stumbling around
Falling down
Landing on what the dog left On The ground
It's like they're alt saying
if you don't believe
what I believe
you cannot help me ,to even live
and that's hard to conceive When it comes to dying
They continue trying
Tightly packed  as they Interact And it's a sad fact
what the nurse said on TV
just  the other day
Sometimes it's just too hard
to hear the last words
They ever say
in that Breathless Rasp
Between it and that final gasp Kovid/ Corona it doesn't exist I'll be fine they
do insist
And that's when lighted eyes  Dim
And the heart monitor goes flat
You're not fine
I just don't understand why people don't see this
As a sign ... Like Perhaps Stop!
Just stop !

We passed along the trail
My little boy and me
And as we made our way along
To where his friends would be
As he kicked his step extra hard
Trying to keep up with my pace
And I glanced down without him seeing
The smile creeping up on my face
Up ahead paradise loomed
In the form of merry- go-rounds and swings
And the fantasy land such as these
To a child mind brings
I felt the fingers straining
Wanted to be racing  up ahead
So just to be a little rascal
I hold on just a second longer
Till I felt his gaze fall on me
I said "it's alright...go ahead"
I watched my little boy five......and a half
Musn't  forget that as if he'd ever let
So I sat down on this bench watching
It was a place as familiar as
The ever growing creases in my face
Living my childhood over vicariously
Through the eyes of my little boy
Dad and I used to come here
So many years and lives ago
And he would sit on this very bench
While on top of the slide I would be
Beating back lions or tigers below
Maybe pirates whatever I created
Right up to my  preteen years
Then I did what my little boy
Will do someday. a parents greatest fear
They grow up
I can remember like yesterday
As dad and I would start for home
We would pass by the water fountain
I would try without success day after day
Dad would lift me up that mountain
So now that had become a little routine
We go through now two generations so far
Dad would say "what do you want to do son ?"
As we were  traveling that sidewalk
Approaching The fountain as I would say
"Dad I want a drink of cold water from that spring"
"But son," he'd say "that's so high up on that mountain"
And my son will say just as I used to say
"Someday dad you won't have to hold me up
that mountain cause I'll climb it on my own."
Now its become a little routine
"Why would you want to climb way up there? "
I would say "gotta do it today
It may not be here to stay
Nothing lasts forever .....never know when..
It will be too late"

"HEY DAD " I yelled as I came running in
Shredded envelope floating around my head
Like some crazy parade float
In a ticket tape parade -as I read
"You've been accepted ..... Its the college I wanted
Ain't that great dad .. Ain't it GREAT DAD?"
"Yeah it is son but why do you want to go so far away?"
"Gotta go ..go now ..tomorrow may be too late
Nothing lasts forever... No really Dad ain't it great?"

First time I told my wife ..."Hey hon
Look what I've  got here in my hand"
"Whats that"s ?" she asked
Asked as I held two tickets half hidden
"Its two tickets to Hawaii three weeks of sun and sand"
She stopped dusting--turning so quickly
A little cloud of dust swirled around her head
She said"WHY....." as a smile replaced
Any words she might have said
"They say the oceans are rising
So we better go now and not wait
Nothing lasts forever--another year ..it may be too late"

"Hey DAD. Are you ready?"
As I yanked myself back from the past
My little boy stood before me
"Oh .yeah. I'm ready. Did you have fun son?"
As he turned to look back at the swings
And whatever it may be he saw
A smile grew along his face as he said
"Oh yeah dad .....
....l went around the whole world?"
"Really !  That's a lot to do in one day"
"Yeah I know dad ..but nothin lasts forever
Tomorrow it might all be gone
Nothing is here to stay dad"
Thats right son I said tryin' not to cry
So proud of what I just witnessed as a tear..
...Escaped my eye
"You ready to go climb that mountain
And get a nice cold drink?"
He took my hand-as one
we passed through that land
Toward that magic mountain my boy
Was just beginning to grow
in body,soul and mind
As I just got a glimpse of his humor
his faith and his glory
As he put all together-as I  watch
him learning to think

When our babysitter showed up that evening
And then my wife looked into the den
"Hey there ...are you ready to go?"
She was dressed for a very special evening
As was I but being a man I had been done for a while
So since then I had been ...sitting here in my den
Letting the day I had wash across me like a soft wind
There a reason women take longer
"Oh my god" I said "you.. Absolutely beautiful"
Taking her in my arms "Where are we going again?"
A playful laugh "To the play and a late dinner...
Is your tux or tie too tight..cutting off blood to your head.?
If you don't feel like going...its alright
Whatever you want to do is fine with me"
And I saw her searching my eyes....
....As she instinctively understood
"Well... If you don't mind I'd trip up to 'MOUNT FOUNTAIN'
Its been awhile since I've seen dads smile"
And in perfect harmony we said

"NOTHING LASTS FOREVER ..YOU NEVER KNOW....
WHEN IT WILL BE TOO LATE"

Deep in the corner
Of that closet I've neglected
I've finally traveled far enough
to feel as if I am protected
              FROM.....
Whatever I may find
that might devastate my mind
Afflicting me with deep regrets
collecting all my unpaid debts
Leaving me destitute
all the while just hanging out
Among or in the pocket of
          some old suit
Waiting for that day
when I would open up the door and say
    TODAY I'm going in
All the way back to where it did begin
making some space for what may come
Start a different beat on my drum
Should have done it years ago
Yet somehow I always found
Ways to always get around
finding out what I didn't
didn't want to know
Didn't want to see
Didn't want to find
Any long forgotten memory
way back in the corner
of that cluttered closet floor
Or even some old scarf
That lingers with how she used to smell
          I'm well....so....
Today is that day
I am going in
I've been working out
Training for this bout
So I opened up the door
and in the end all I found
was an old valentines
          chocolate box
Empty..., except for....
..,.the same halves
of 2 broken keys
and a note that read
These once opened up
our first front door...and so much more
now the locks are changed
as life has re-arranged
These 2 broken keys
Are identical and just to keep
for  reminding you
that the door...
....cannot
be opened anymore        
           So no regrets....
for any haven't yet  
or should have said!
You once told me
If you could control time
then you would bend...
....our first few years
      into a loop
To live it over again and again
But baby all that would do
Is create a middle
When the beginning meets it's end
And time does that anyway...
and sometimes.......it doesn't matter.... what we do or say .
So be happy!