On a shortcut to
My echoes end
I drag my carcass
Kickin ' and screamin' out
That it WASN'T ME
Boom.., Boom ..., BOOM
yea, yea, YEEEAAAAAAH !
Rock bottom --down deeper
   Deeper.. ..than the ...
Cold--- blue -----sea

All I wanted ... All I needed
     Was a reason
Just a reason to be
Thats all I needed--all I wanted
   But I never seem to find it...
......No matter how hard I've hunted
   I was walking through life
     On the edge of a knife
Sharper than my own hard edge
Sometimes the pain I control
     Will take me on a hard roll
     Down the hill and into
The bottom of the deep.....
       ......blue ...sea
   At the bottom ..at the bottom
At the bottom of the cold ,cold ,cold
Deep, deep , deep , DEEP BLUE SEA !
    
     So if you're bent on looking
And you want to find me
    Just turn the wrong direction
      Anywhere That you want....
      Thats where I'll be....
.......Thats where I will be .
   Be be bebebebelow  the surface
         Of the norm
             I will admit
   It's  so fuzzy and warm
         It's so hard to quit
              Don't know.......
      .......How many times
I've tried to convince my mind
But I haven't succeeded yet
                    So now I'm ......
               ....Draggin' my carcass
    Down these cold .. stone...steps
         Balancing my soul
   On  the edge of a knife
  KICKIN' and SCREAMIN' out....
       That I want back
       " I WANT BACK MY LIFE"

I've been down to the bottom
Of the pile
I've been down there for.....
..A long long while
I ain't the first and I
Won't be the last
To wallow around
I'm a LONG GONE  past

I don't know why
I don't know when
How I was torn
Or if I'll mend
Ain't so flexible
That I can bend
In redeeming my past
My future I will spend

I'll spend it all
Beatin' my head against the wall

Pay the piper
For a long sad tune
And make my peace
In a rubber room

No I ain't the first
Won't be the last
To wallow around
In a long gone past
To wallow around
To wallow around.. To wal......

The futures looming
Like a twisting wind
Swirling around till
Your head will spin
And then..its all just......
Gone--on a gust of wind

I'll spend it all
Beatin' my head against the wall
And then pay the piper
For a looooooongggg sad tune
And then make my peace
Make my peace.......
I'll make my peace!
IN A RUBBER ROOM!

The landscape changing
Like a kaleidoscope scene
As I was there patiently waiting
To see it I could find solice in
An unrequited dream
I held no answers
     To the questions
That were scattered
       Like pebbles
All over the ground
I  don't seem to know
Which one represents sad
    Or happy or mad
I don't know how to find out
         So I guess I'm stuck
With  keeping them in my pocket
   Pulling them out 1 at a time
     Seeking the one that says luck
       But consistent in finding
         The one that says mad
This wasn't the way I used to be
          Now you SEEM to be
      This way all  of the time
        Its obvious I don't know
          .  ...The difference
        I haven't a clue......DO YOU?
          KNOW WHO I WAS ?
      So I can find my way back
  Into that kaleidoscope scene
        Pulled myself out when I
             Wanted back in
      I wave to the image
Patiently standing there - watching
         Who doesn't know
  While watching me go..
..whether to be happy ,sad or mad
As they sort through the pocket
For the pebble they never knew
That they had-- that says simply
  I'm glad- I'm glad --I'm glad.

I may have a procrastination problem
So I'll give that a bit of thought
But I'll do it later
The other day someone called me an agnostic
And I told them"I doubt that"
Now I need to look up agnostic
I'll do that later
Someday I'd like to try being an instigator
But I'm just not very good at starting things
I could become a deligator
Then I could get someone to instigate for me
The city split the alley behind my parents house
Between the adjoining neighbors
So I fenced it down the middle
Then I put in a gate....TOO LATE....
..I'M THERE ALREADY. I was an alleygater
Apparently I need a job
I've too much time to think
I had a great job a little while back
Out in the country
Green pastures -fresh air
All that most peoples lives lack
1000 acres of a sheep ranch operation
I loved it-so flippin peaceful
I'd go back with absolutely no hesitation
But alas...nothing good lasts forever
My third day as we moved the little lambs
From one pasture to another
My job was to simply wait by the gate
Keeping count as they went by
They were nice but they let me go
Because that count I tried to keep
Every time I got to 15--TOO LATE--
You guessed it .... I'd fall asleep

So yeah I do need to get outside
Of my house and my mind
And I know its bad to procrastinate
Thats why GOOD politicians
Are really hard to find
They all seem to be -for the most part-
Extremely dedicated LEGIS(doit)LATERS
AND THEYVE GOT A JOB??.      REALLY!!!?

My shadow follows
   Wherever I go
Keeping me anchored to
   The ground
  I know that
I am more than
Just a hollow shell
But if you try to color me in
     Be sure to go
Outside the lines as well
Because I am more than
A cut -out pattern
I'm an IN-DI-VID-U-AL
  An individual
I have my problems
    That I hope to celebrate
Perfection is not a goal
To which I can relate
My shadow knows me
For who I really am
My shadow shows me
Who it is I  really am
Who I really am
There is a pattern
That I know I have become
Although I fought
All the forces to which
I finally did succumb
Surrender is not a fate
To which I can subscribe
     I will live for
As long as I survive
That pattern describes me
For just a fleeting glimpse
I have lived
A thousand lives
In that moment since
So if you try to color me in
Just be sure to
Go outside the lines
As I am a shadow
Of your vision
Not a product of your designs

I know that someday
The walls that surround you
Will come tumbling down
      All around you
And you can be certain
That's when the curtain
Will rise up on the first act
The debut of a new play
That you've been rehearsing
One that noone has ever seen
     The actors are ready
    To see how steady
They can be-as they deliver
The performance of a future
    That's taken forever
    To get it all together
The scenery is authentic
The writing is so insightful
That it creates a delightful
Illusion of an intrusion
Into the personal lives
Of the actors themselves
As they pour out the words
That they had to memorize
Then they look with surprise
As they recognize -the disguise
That's been shielding
The very unwielding plot
That has come to the surface
Where it is now- gasping for air
           And aware
Of the mortality of any reality
That has been set loose
And exposed to the light
    Held up....as an example
Of just what can happen
When you sample the emulsion
    That you been trippin on
    Along with the beast
That's been secretly hiding
And has now been caught
     Along with the plot

Constantly in perpetual emotion
   Going around and around
Like a pinwheel-that's being
Held out the window- Of a car
On a highway-going somewhere
             In despair
Knowing that my way is taking me
In the opposite direction
As a means of protection
And having no need
    Of any type of correction
    BECAUSE..... the
Curtain has fallen down
     To surround....you
Like the walls that you built
That you once let crumble
Before the guilt that you felt
Reassembled all the pain
That has now been built
All the way around you...so
Close down the play
Send the actors away
The reversal cancelled
Any need of rehearsal.... So...
LET THE DARKNESS TAKE OVER THE NIGHT
LET THE DARKNESS TAKE OVER THE NIGHT
    Turn out the lights and close the doors
Knowing that somethings not right
About the way that you say
No emergency assistance is necessary
Once the curtain falls
And you make your way back
Back back Back back behind
Behind behind Behind
Behind your walls

Maybe it's a miracle
Maybe it's a dream
Maybe it's hysterical
Maybe it's as funny as it seems

Windows in a patch of sky
Open to show the way to fly
When a trip is just a trip
On days of imperfect harmony
Musicality without melody
Totality of reality in plays
Acted out without a script
Fading away once the curtain
On the window view
Forever has been stripped...
...AWAY!!!
A way ---I'LL FLY AWAY
I'll fly away in a dream
Where I have wings of clay
Heavier than the earth itself

But not as heavy as my mood
Was yesterday
Not as heavy as my mood
Was yesterday

Maybe it's a prison cell
Maybe it's a box
Maybe it's just a place to dwell
A pause in time itself
A second or two to enjoy the view
A time in which to take stock
Of my life--of my life
OF MY LIFE....

Maybe its just what it is
Just that and only that
Maybe sometimes we make it
All just a little too hard

To see it - from where we've sat
To see it- from where we're at
To see it-to see it
To see it is Just that
Its a pause in time itself
A second or two to enjoy the view
And  time to take stock....
         Of your life!
So.....don't waste it!

Imagination sometimes
Dances like a madman
At the periphery of my vision
Ducking into the shadows
Of empty thought
When I try to turn to see
But keep my words in check
As a portent of some future trap
Where I may catch the fiend
"Ah ha..I 've got you"
I may say to the fading dust
Of that which was-
-but isn't now
No cage or net
Except regret
May hold imagination down
It is not physical
It is not real
It is only a catalyst
A launching pad
Of fanciful flight
To space and beyond
Past time
Past colorful clouds
Of collapsing stars
And planets being born
A moonbeam slice of eternity
Spread across a lifetime
In just a minutes space
And yet I see it dancing
Just outside my periphery
"I see you"

An insatiable thirst
Quenched
By the flickering flames of change
As constant darkness
Opens up
To expose
The smiling faces........ arranged
In a ragged circle
As transmutation will
Click a quick tick
Time sets forth a measurement
And right then
Measurement becomes relevant
And the wall
Still and silent now
As it settles into the new place
Having moved backward......
Giving human spirit
A little more space
Nobody knew it right then
But space
Just got bent ..for the very first time
---------And GOD smiled---------
Coal carried the flame forward
Far beyond
Its original role
Iron became harder to tame
As they blend and bend
Creating and celebrating
The birth
Of the very first tool
And the wall slid back
Exposing a gap
In the continuum
As well as a broken chain
So GOD stepped in
Taking a chain in each hand
As to cover the span
Linking the past to the present
Creating a future
Where history will be amassed
To be categorized
Analized
Sorted and filed
And GOD held it all together
-------And again GOD smiled-------
That smile
Must have been
MAJESTIC
As he watched the intrepid airmen
Sail off the dune and fly toward the ocean
Taking a leap and an unfathomable chance
HE may have laughed
As the slapstick unfolded
The two brothers laughing and whooping
As each does their version
Of a happy dance
To a whole new future -- to be
That they alone
Had the ability to see
It did change quite magically
Unfolding like a roadmap
Inspiring technology
With each turn of the page
No smile could have been present
As fat man lumbered in
And little boy followed
Not too long after
And that guaranteed
The absence of smiles
-------The suppression of laughter------
Tragic
Still
The wall slid backwards
By more than the QUOTA
The pattern expected
Considering the folly of man
Whose intelligence suddenly
Accelerating so rapidly
That bit by bit
Humanity split
Religiously
Using a crutch
Saying its all just
Too much
"If GOD wanted man to fly
He would have given us wings"
As others decry
"You spit in the eye
of He who gave us the gift
of creativity
Intelligence and tenacity---
--maybe a bit of bombastity
All fathers want their children
To excel
So shouldn't that be true
For GODS children as well?
That wall is not to be breached
Circumnavigated
Undermined or climbed
We will never realize
The height necessary
To rise above the lofty wall
To see the sacred sights
Where GOD delights
In teasing us
Bit by bit
Inch by inch
Allowing us
To push the wall forward
Encouraging us to learn as we grow
As you know
We would have never  moved forward
Beyond the doubts of those
Who say that we're playing GOD
Then burying their heads in the sand
Dooming us to crawl
Instead of proudly walking tall
If GOD didn't encourage his children
By stepping back
And smiling upon us
As we seek to find wisdom
Just as we need it
We take pride in pushing ahead
As if we somehow
Actually did
It on our own
Managing to move that wall
----And that has to give
GOD
The biggest laugh of all.