Depression Sessions,

Without making light of those trapped in the dark,
that setraline sentimentality exposed modern art.
Theres a cavity in the canvass,
despair and distress,
decayed daily until theres only just the crevasses left.
I digress,
your highness.
High times, crash down finesse.

What did you expect?

Now you're acting as if theres nothing left.
When in three days you’ll make the same mistake again.
Just to take the pain away.
Or so you say.

But you’re not depressed.
Stressed, maybe.
Tired,
jaded maybe,
but the lights not faded you just took the wrong road that day.

Now there’s no way of coming back.
You’re not cool for that, this isn’t a cul-de-sac.
You keep taking me back and I just relapse.
And collapse after the session,
ready for the sentence.

Repentance a breath away.

And you remind me of every person I know and love.

If you can live long enough,
Life will teach you how to live,
And in the moment we'll grow.

And all I can give
Is nothing more than the truth
As we reap what we sow.

I guess it's true what they say,
You live and learn,

Misguided youth now we wait and burn,

I guess it's true that it's easier to fake than it is to actually do.

The devil disguised in the roots,
I watched him grow inside of you.
Inspite of you, I was inspired by you,

But
I was just passing through,
Transparent apparently on a path led with tangled leaves,
Tread into the ground.

I guess it's true that were bounded by love.
As the seasons changed so did the reasons to fall.

And I fell for you implicitly,
like rain drops from clouds.

The game was fine.
We smiled and even cracked some jokes.
The music was dull, but we didn’t mind.
We couldn’t care less,
as long as we had each other’s wallet.
The artist was being tortured in the book and
there was nothing in our head and heart that could save us
from falling off.
What a bunch of nonsense you poured in our glasses,
as the wine left them to enter our mouths, throats and bellies.
By the end of the show I was drunk and sad,
without any direction,
without a meaning,
a purpose,
a goal
or whatever fancy word you’d to use to describe my numb life.

The mind game was fine, until you lost your game and I lost my mind.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a2LFVWBmoiw

Look at me my lover
She purred.
My eyes raised to look into hers
I could see so deeply into her.
I know all of her faults
Her temper
Her petulance
Her passions and vanities.
Everyone has said to me
you can do better
she is not compatible with your needs.
But then  a slight gasp of moonlight
frames her hair
from behind  like a halo.
And the corners
of her mouth
fall into an easy smile.
Even from across the room
She knows how much I want her.
And I know they could all be right.
But I don’t care
My heart does not have
any control
over who it falls in love with.

I just read some poetry
in a big collection of real poets.
I was living in a fools paradise.
I thought I was getting better.
After three long years slogging
out one piece of crap after the other.
I have decided
if you read a poem
you feed your soul for one day.
if you write a poem
you sentence your soul
to a lifetime
of self doubt and frustration.

Zap the lightning. Crash the thunder.
Even immortals; they will sunder
Under my wrath they will be lit
So mortals prepare and so be it.

Our fingers,
Interlocked.
You glance at me with fire.
I felt the sand
Of all those years,
And your eyes were the sea.

I don't always look for the shoreline,
But years have passed,
And all I could see was crisp fields.

The only time you wanted me
Was when you had tipped back so many bottles
You couldn't tell the difference between their lips and mine