this is how it happens
it's the last day the temperature will be
above thirty-two degrees Fahrenheit
until February
you're not looking at the date
it's just the end of November
the middle of the night in the middle of a road
at the end of November
the hum of this small town hurts your ears
you're stuck in a dream where everything you see
turns into a weapon
this is how it happens
you knocked back sharp, amber liquid
to make this place feel a little more okay
and it only worked halfway
no matter how soft the edges are
you bruise your hips when you
run into them in the dark
you're ******* on your fourth cigarette when
a police officer pulls over and asks
how you're doing today
in the too-bright white of the headlights
the sick taste of Red Stag sticks to
the roof of your mouth
the mouth that you're moving into a smile
the mouth exhaling plumes of smoke at the ground
you're okay
"i'm okay."
you don't tell him what you're really doing
you're really taking all of your
thoughts about stopping your pulse for a walk
you don't tell him you've been
chasing ambulances all night long
please, officer don't leave me alone, you don't say
he tells you to have a good night and drives away
and this is how it happens
the moon smiles at you with every single one
of its tiny, sharp teeth
nobody but your cat finds you in that bathtub
nobody but your cat watches you rise from red water
watches it drip drip drip
from every chasm carved in your left arm
nobody but your cat saw the soft animal of your soul
shiver from the cold that day
it's the first day the temperature
dropped below
thirty-two degrees Fahrenheit inside your chest

sweating palms pushed against fabric;
bits of someone caught between fingers-
someone writes about
relevance and hesitance and hysteria
and pushes their palms against fabric,
separated parts of someone from
the portion of that which has unraveled.



artificial bulbs pinken a room;
someone has the
nerve to blush at the framework-
someone writes about
panic and anguish and bitterness
and brushes their hip against a nightstand,
sewing drunk secrets into verses and
chanting their correspondence to
a moon in a window.



a sloppy mess of blankets form a pile;
bits of someone caught under the covers-
someone writes about
homelessness and destitution and hurt
and kisses open mouthed visitors,
tracing teeth with tongues and
knotting a grip in hair to
hide a hand that trembles.



someone writes about the five stages of grief,
a sloppy mess of what
you love forms a boulder on your rib cage;
someone writes about a bed and a rock and a pebble
and wants more from the
untouched sheets
than gravel under bare feet.