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Katlyn Orthman Sep 2012
When I write,
My whole word is clear,
When I write,
I escape this tainted mirror,
When I write,
I forget my self pity,
When I write,
I feel smart and witty,
When I write,
Time  stands still,
When I write,
words are at my will,
When I write,
I am proud of every piece,
When I write,
The rambling in my head seems to cease,
When I write,
Everything makes sense,
When I write,
I can explain all the things that are dense,
When I write,
I become complete,
When I write,
I become elite
Katlyn Orthman Jan 2013
Buzzing softly
Rattling like slow beaten drums
The air grew thick
And the clouds hovered grey
Black spider like vines
Crawling
Chasing me
Trying to flee from this darkness
The memories keep it near
Keep it here
Running to the trees
But slowly the leaves
Turn black
Dripping like ink
Bleedin from the ground
All around
It's so dark here
The sky blood red
The moon a black hole
In the sky
The vines like barb wire
Rip up my legs
Cut through my flesh
My teeth mesh
Cold the wind grips my throat
The silent scream
So loud
As the soft grey clouds
Cry tears
Katlyn Orthman Sep 2012
That night I was so young,
My eyes took in a gruesome scene
Fresh years wet my eyes
I wasn't ready for her to die
I hate that man for what he did
He yelled and screamed and hid
The lights and sirens loud a firce
I run for safety and let them in
God help me I am so scarred
Just don't let them see
This trembling pain inside me
And as I thought that she was dead
Her life flowed back inside instead
And time went on and now I feel
As if my life's fake and not real
Treated like dirt, spit on,
She's not thankful that I saved her life
Katlyn Orthman May 2013
You used to fight for me
Like I fight for you
You used to help me see
And I'd help you too

But lately I find myself more and more alone
And you seem to be so far away
I feel like no ones home
And I'm alone to stay  

You slowly drift away from me
And I just try to keep up
You're so far I can barely see
I want to call your name but I'd hate to interrupt

I reach beside me but you're gone
I try not to cry
But you've been beside me so long
I can't understand but I try

I'm so alone, and afraid
I'm searching for your face
I smell the sheets where you laid
You aren't there, it's just cold empty space

Why aren't you here
I miss your embrace
This single tear
For a heart I misplaced
Katlyn Orthman Mar 2013
In this cold forest
Where I roam
The thick coverage billows
For a moment I feel at home
No worries, no stress
No tears to fall today
This cold that lurks inside
I hope it dies today
There's no whispers in my head
There's no pain inside
Maybe today ill show my skin
And I won't have to hide
Katlyn Orthman Mar 2020
Broken hearts and shattered dreams
All fray away with unraveled seams

Long for the day to be set free
In wanderlust out by the sea

Listen to the waves they crash and pull
Like musical tunes the sounds will lull

But lonely hearts travel alone
And nowhere ever feels like home

Not out by the vast blue sea
Or in the depths of ripe green trees

These places won't remember me
As lonely hearts are never seen

Not by the eyes of passing souls
Or by the eyes who make us whole

No, lonely hearts must pay a toll
Oh, where do the lonely hearts go?
Katlyn Orthman Dec 2012
Quiet and dark the room was empty
Waiting quietly for sleep to take me
I was falling when my ears heard it
A voice so quite
It has to be my mind
Because when I looked no face was to find
The absence of sleep must be playing tricks
Because I closed my eyes again and I heard it quick
My heart sputtered to a pound
As I listened for a sound
Closer it came only when my eyes were closed
The owner must not want me to know
I bit my lip and shook with fear
I couldn't stop the soft flow of tears
I rather be alone
But the whispers here would roam
They spoke so quite I couldn't define
I wondered if it was my mind
But I was silent and the whispers grew louder
But never did they shout, never
I'm praying for sleep
But the voices they never sleep
They never rest
It was an evil test
To keep from pulling at my hair
But I heard them, heard them there
I wanted to scream
But nobody could know of the whispers
They'd never understand
Katlyn Orthman Nov 2012
They paint pictures
Of golden gates cloaked in mist
Have you sinned?
How is it humanly possible
To never sin?
And if you do
You must beg forgiveness?
And forgiveness will be given
If you forgive yourself?
People portray god
As a man that gave his life for us
They say he wants all his children
To be happy?
But then they say he would never except
Anyone who is of the same ***
And in love?
In my mind it bounces from wall to wall
How could simple people
Parents, except their children
And love them
But a man so just and unselfish
Not?
Who is god in my eyes?
I can ask myself this all the time
But I don't know
We're deceived everyday
I can't allow myself to believe
That he would
Cast away his children
Because they chose to love
Just my opinion , I have a lot of people in my life that are gay , not saying everyone has to believe in gay rights but I choose to.  I've heard that the whole argument about gay rights was based off of religous reasons . I can't believe god would be shallow again just my opinion
Katlyn Orthman Mar 2013
Walk the aisle
On my way to death
Flowers hanging above the alter
Marry the truth
Divorce the lies
Hands holding a single black rose
The thorns twisted and sharp
The audience is dead
Watching me as I turn and bow
The groom lies in a crumpled pile
Drained of blood
The white carpet beneath him wet
With his last bit of life essence
Pushing back the black veil before my face
I whisper I do into grooms ear and smile
A wicked wedding
For a wicked bride
Not really sure where this one came from
Katlyn Orthman Sep 2012
Shadows lurk in me, 
I am to scared of that particular darkness, to explore it, 
I wish someone would just take my hand, tell me I'm going to be alright, 
I want to be the one to be soothed, 
Always being the one to soothe others, 
I want to be the one to ask for help and receive, 
Instead of being the one to give it, 
I suppose I'm asking too much,
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012
Wake up with the sunlight on my face
Fell asleep without a hope, without a grace
Cold nights, thoughtless and bare
No love in the alley ways
When your only company
Is a street rat
That simpers his way by
Last lunch , was from the trash
I'm not looking for pity
Not looking for another's tears
Just looking for a place to rest my head
From these troubled days
Never begged a day in my life
Wouldn't start today
Won't look for a place to die
Searching for a place to lay
I'm a survivor
I won't give up
I'm a soldier
I'll fight on
I'm not homeless, thankfully, but I care for the people that are. A lot of people forget that homeless people are PEOPLE to, so I wrote this poem for anyone whose been down that road
Katlyn Orthman Sep 2012
Troublesome headache wont go away
Pain in my heart, and my left leg
Tears in my eyes, coffee in my hand
I walk on
Like I am invincible
As if Im not afraid
As if I dont fall down
As if I dont get hurt
Angry, throwing things around the room
It's to empty
No echoes of our screams
I want to breath with out the sob stuck in my throat
I want to close my eyes
And not see you
I want to lay in my bed
Without the company of the hot liquid down
My broken face
I want to be me without you
But I'm torn
I need one more hug to assure me
That you dont really hate me
I want to feel strong again
Instead of ill
Katlyn Orthman Sep 2012
Thick dirt matted fur, A warning snarl from between razor sharp teeth, Head lowered to the forest floor, littered with brown leaves, and fallen branches, eyes glowing with a beckoning challenge, hair raised, ears perked, senses alert,
This wolf will not back down, a threat obvious,
As the hunter points the gun at the snarling snapping wolf, hiding behind his man made power, but tonight this hunter will fall, and will not rise again, from behind, the wolfs mate emerges from the foliage, teeth exposed and a determined sway in her pursuit, with a hurried lunge, the hunter swirls, a bang in the nights air,
A gurgled scream, a agony filled howl,
The wolfs mate lay twitching, holding onto her last few breaths, muzzle to muzzle, they lay together,
An alpha and his dying female,
Katlyn Orthman Sep 2014
Fist to fist
An eye for an eye
A hit and a miss
Alone they cry

Shackled to this imagination
Welded to those fears
Brain let loose on a crazy fascination
Fixated on those tears

A world on fire beneath a blazing sun
Ashes falling down
Flames swallow everyone
Singed those who stood around
Katlyn Orthman Mar 2014
Take this pen and write the words
Slow as I watch them shape into meaning
Sad and sullen I write my tragedies
I write my pain and my happy
I write the dark and the light
I write the flight and my fights
But I can't seem to write how I feel
I can't even speak the words
It seems as though I'm writing a novel
To a strangers life
As though I don't even know who I am
Too bad I can't write my way back home
To that place inside of me
To bad I can't write my sight
So my blind eyes can see
To bad I can't write the pieces of me back together
To bad that my life seems like a work of fiction
Katlyn Orthman Mar 2013
Dark, always dark
The walls are painted by blood
So scared as the brilliant red
Drips in an uneven path
Stopping at my shaking legs
Slightly aware of my freshly sliced wrist
Everything begins to fade out to grey
I want to pass out
But the voices in my head screams
Telling me to open my eyes
Write the lies on the wall
Repent for your sins
It screams in my head
And as I push at it
Trying to escape
My skin tears open slowly
This time it's me whose screaming
Begging, pleading
Write the lies on the wall
Inside my head they scream
I want to move but the pain hold me immobilized
My eyes begin to bleed
I might just explode
As my head throbs
And my skin breaks
Thank god I woke up
This was a real nightmare I had, I apologize for how gruesomely graphic it was I just needed to capture it all while it was still fresh.
Katlyn Orthman Dec 2013
It's written in my scars
each one a tale of its own
Some speak of how I won
and some speak of how I don't
Each one gives me stregnth
to keep moving on
Each one reminds me
that misery only last so long
It's only bitter for a sour minute,
only cold while the wind blows.
It just reminds me that my dreams will follow
anywhere I go.
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012
Falling from the tops of the trees
But I am not scared
I see you there
Beneath the earth
Arms ready
To catch me
Your magic swarms the air
And a smile lights your heavenly face
I know I am in my place
My home
As I close my eyes
And enjoy the breeze
Because I trust
Your strong firm arms
I trust you
Our hearts as one
I can imagine your loves warmth
Burning a path to mine
Because tonight
We set the trees to flames
Of passion
The fiery hues
We reminisce
As we lay encircled
By each other
I will not leave
I am finally at peace
You found me
Katlyn Orthman Jan 2013
You don't know my pain
You've never worn my chains
Only I bare my shame

You don't wage my fight
You can't cage my might
You don't walk in the night
With me....

You haven't felt my tears
You haven't faced my fears
You've never cheered
Me on...

You don't have to wear my scars
You don't gaze at my stars
And I don't know who you are
Anymore...
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012
Piano covered in dust
keys out of tune
room filled with doom
dark shadows on the black and white
checkered tile
I'll just sit here a while
Wipe my foggy eyes
this masquraded demise
hidden in the best desgiuse
as love
that i thought came from you
as you brushed your fingertips
down my back
but true feelings you lacked
push you away with tears
in the green pools
hurt
betrayed
never again
the room begins to spin
ice in my lungs
my heart breaks in two
and i turn to leave
but i see her shadow
her pictures on the wall
i begin to fall
this heart ache grips me as i crawl
this pain i feel
it sends me reeling
a mask i glue in place
concealing
my hurt and tears
all the love id spent for so many years
and now i am poor
my love is no more
i spent everything i had
and i feel so bad
i cant truly feel so ...
no words to put on my emotion
my heart caused a commotion
im sad that i feel this way
only pulls me further down i must say
when did it get this bad
when did i feel this mad
how could i feel any better
just take my scarlet letter
i rather leave this realm
than feel like this
i shouldnt feel like this
...... but you i'll miss
Katlyn Orthman Sep 2012
You can insult me
I don't mind
You can spew venom laced words my way
I'm immune
Just know that your words hold nothing on me
You just simply make me laugh
I am superior
You are weak
You try to hurt me
But I feel nothing
You only tire yourself
But enlighten me
What do you see
The outcome of your tantrum being?
Your mind is mysterious
So childish
I've matured
This is not the playground
I'm not here to play
So please throw your comments my way
Katlyn Orthman Sep 2012
I'm young in appearance ,
But what I've seen has made me wise,
I don't know all there is to know
But what I have learned is priceless,
I don't need to see the entire world,
To know what I love and cherish the  most,
It's right there infront of me,
Even if it's blocked from my sight,
I can feel it even though it's lost,
It's apart of me,
It always has been
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012
Night with a street lamp 
To light the way 
Run until its day 
Storming to the point of hail 
I go outside to get my Pail 
Oceans roars a hurricane 
Surf the waves and make them tame 
Capture light inside your hand 
Discover an uncovered land 
Breath air of another kind 
Speak with the smartest mind 
Eat a food from every place 
Savoring the godly taste 
Live like it's your last day 
You only live once they say
Katlyn Orthman Jun 2015
You're just a face
That I am passing by
Another place
That I must survive

You're just a face
That I passed by on the road
Matter filling space
A piece for my story to unfold

You're just a face
That is always in the background
Always misplaced
Always around

You're just a face
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2014
Immortality lies in the soul
My body may age
I will grow wise with time
But my soul will still burn with youth
Until death do us part
Katlyn Orthman Dec 2012
In the dark I follow this path
Unwritten and unpaved I might crash
Hollow I walk alone
My bones carved and made of stone
My wounds were open to bare
I could feel the crow and raven's hungry stare
Infected by a governmental disease
The growing hunger was a painful tease
Devour the souls it told me
Swallow it whole it told me
I was trying to fight the urge but it over came me
Like a wave , I was eaten by the sea
Destroy was my main cause
I wasn't human I was only flaws
It was a curse but it felt so good
As I slaughtered the whole neighborhood
The only guilt I felt was at the bottom of my heart
It was a small tingle that pulled me apart
No conscience  to tell me to stop
I fought and killed to the top
I was a body without a core
A dead hand pulling open the basement door
A limp and a shimmer as I made my way
The evil pledged inside me would stay

— The End —