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Katlyn Orthman Jul 2016
In silence I only hear my thoughts
The overcrowding of voices in my brain
The overwhelming rush of blood in my veins

I breathe deep

In silence I only hear your voice
Echoing in my head
The overcrowding feelings
Coat my heart in cement

And in the darkness I only see your memory
A faint light tethered to my heart
Beating in accordance to yours
Which used to beat alongside mine

And we were dreamers in the night
With wide ambitions and future sight
And now we're silent screamers
We're locked away

With so many opinions
and so much to say
yet my mouth is sewed shut
By the voices that play on repeat inside my head
they play and play and play and...

In the silence all I hear is you

In the silence which has become so loud
I feel lost inside this imaginary crowd
Katlyn Orthman Apr 2016
The flowers were tinged in red
The all mighty has fallen again
A dark ring has fallen around the sun
It grows bigger as each day is done

Shadows linger where we used to be
Our dreams casted out into the sea
And the indigo moon is hoisted up high
As it watches the light in our eyes die

As it watches the leaves fall from trees
A place our hopes used to be
In the branches of the old kings and queens
And the Earth opens up wide to swallow me

My lungs fill with dirt decay
In this soil belly where I lay
I feel the soil sink between my feet
In a place where light and dark will always meet
A  sullen smile as raindrops fall in reverse
And I forget all that I have rehearsed
The role I play has gone off script
Somewhere down the road I had tripped
And now my heart beats but it skips

Hopscotch heartbeats and sunken in eyes
Why did the sun and moon die?
Where are the stars that once shined so bright?
The emptiness is just not right

And now I sleep beneath indigo skies
My eyes shut tight
And now I have indigo dreams
They're full of tangled webs and screams
Katlyn Orthman Apr 2016
Sad faced youth
With dreary eyes
And weighted shoulders

Tear stained youth
With a sullen heart
And a million thoughts

Fast paced life
With too many choices
Which is right?
I may never know

****** up night
Her parents are shouting
Echoes linger
Down the hall

Open bottle
The cap is lost and she is chugging
Add some pills
To numb the pain

Open wounds
The pain is crawling
Inside her skin
Because she's insane

Broken heart
Midnight is calling
With sad tales
Of the one with no name

Where does this road go?
She's lost the map again
No one knows
She's lost her name

Open casket
The rain is falling
Blurred out lines
And memories

She was young
And her heart was hurting
From all the thoughts
They Caused her pain
Katlyn Orthman Mar 2016
Remarkable love
The word in which I choose to describe love

Tangible love
The way you feel it graze your skin
And stare into the depths of eyes
That share such a vigorating feeling

Undaunting love
Love has brought me through the dirt
Yet raised me from the ground and kissed my wounds
The beauty is regal and untamed
A vicious foe yet filled with an undying loyalty
It is uncapturable, as fluctuating as the erratic beat of my heart

Formidable love
Love knows me yet I am a stranger
Staring wide eyed at the looming colossal figure
The beast that calms me
The only one that tames my fiery heart  
Until my flame is a soft flicker against the moonlight

Desirable love
Until fingers graze skin
And lips tremble in the proximity
Chests press a hard thud against familiar flesh
And pulses raise

Remarkable love
Katlyn Orthman Feb 2016
My lung expand
Slowly they deflate
I'm breathing in
Just a bit too late

My heart contracts
It beats inside
My lips are raw
From the pain I hide

Biting at them
I chew to think
My nails were perfect
And now they shrink

These thoughts are constant
They never end
I wear a mask
And play pretend

My stomach is empty
I hate to eat
I loathe the feeling
It's too complete

And I am broken
A jagged mess
After all these feelings
You confessed

I'm slowly gathering
My parts again
To build my mask
And play pretend
Katlyn Orthman Feb 2016
I can feel the tingle start at the tip of my tongue
I feel the burn in the pit of my stomach
The lightness washing over these heavy limbs
The weightless impossibility
The drunken bliss
A feeling I miss
With each shot I forget your face
Each drink of this liquid pain killer
Takes me a step away from the memories
That haunt me
Katlyn Orthman Jan 2016
You started off as a beacon
A shred of light in the dark
You started off as a song
One with the perfect melody
One with lyrics that fit my skin
And a tune that stroked my heart

You started off as something new
Something gorgeous in my eyes
Something that became my only truth
And erdicated all the lies

You turned into a heated kiss
One that warmed the pieces of my heart
And transformed into my passion
One that could never be torn apart

And now these tears that lie soaking in my bed
Has left these traces of voices in my head
Ones that tell me I'll never be good enough
Ones that fill me with an evil sort of stuff

A voice so empty it leaves shivers in my spine
A voice so broken because you had never been truly mine
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